The Promise Ring (Dear Jann Series 1)

Chapter 7: His Other Side

Everything happened so fast. A little too fast, I wasn't able to react at once. Neither did Markus. It felt like there was a very strong wind that passed between us and remained around me, slowly choking me, I could barely breathe.

It was like staring at a two-eyed monster in my closet. He was puffing fire. Not literally, but he was so furious. It was the first time I saw this side of Marvin in the entire duration of our relationship. It was not him at all. He was different. He looked possessed with a very angry entity and it was scaring me a lot.

He grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me away from Markus, and away from my friends. I tried to speak but I couldn’t find any words coming from me. My throat suddenly feels so dry and if I try harder to speak, maybe my throat will bleed from trying.

I looked around and I can see that people started looking at our direction. Their eyes were questioning and asking what was going on. Some are looking at me with pity and some were like telling me, "I told you so." I felt embarrassment all over me so I let him drag me away. I thought I saw Markus trying to protest and then vanished. I closed my eyes.

I tried to focus on what was going on and I can see that he was with Drake. We were walking towards the side of the building where Jessa lives. No, he was practically dragging me towards it. I tried to catch up with his steps so I won't fall on the ground. But I still stumbled and almost hit some stairs.

"Stand up!" he yelled at me while grabbing my arm.

His yelling finally gave me a sense of reality. I suddenly felt the pain on my arm from his grip. I protested.

"Let me go, Marvin. You're hurting me." I tried to tell him.

“Hey easy man. You are hurting her already.” I heard Drake said to Marvin

“Shut up, Drake. Leave us alone!” he yelled back to Drake.

I saw Drake shook his head in dismay. He raised his hands to show that he will not protest. I looked at him hoping that he would see me pleading to stop his friend, but he stopped walking. He mouthed, “Sorry” to me and I just nodded. 

Marvin had no emotion on his face other than anger. He was so damned angry. I wanted to hold his face in the hope to calm him down but I was so afraid of him at the same time. Before I knew it, my back hit a wall. My head hit it too which made me close my eyes to ease the pain I felt. When I opened my eyes, he was already in front of me. Both arms are resting on the wall just beside my head. He was staring at me and was puffing with so much anger.

"What the hell are you doing with that bastard?" he asked angrily.

His teeth were grinding each other. He was trying to suppress his anger. Our faces and bodies were just inches away so there was no point of me moving. This close to him, I can see how hurt and angry he was at the same time. My eyes started to water due to fear. I have never seen him this angry before.

"I-I-w-was just c-catching up with h-him." I stuttered.

He glared at me. He didn't believe what I said. I took a deep breath and was determined to explain to him what was going on.

"T-they joined us during the disco and h-he d-decided to walk me home after," I explained hoping to calm him down.

"Liar!" he shouted.

Before I could even move, he hit the wall beside my head with his bare hands. He grabbed me again on both arms and drew me closer to him.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Jann. I saw everything!" he yelled.

He pushed me back to the wall. He didn't care if I hit it hard. Did I mention, the wall was concrete, so yes, it hurts pretty bad. But the pain I felt physically was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling within. What happened to the gentle Marvin that I knew? Did I do this to him?

I held both my arms after he pushed me. It was painful and I know for sure that those grips will leave some bruises. I felt warm tears on my cheeks as he continued talking.

"I saw everything, Jann. How he held you in his arms like he still owns you, so don't you dare lie to me!" he was still furious when he said those on my face.

Slap! I found myself on the ground. He slapped me hard on the face! Did he just slap me? What just happened? I can't believe he just did that to me and worst of all, he called me a liar. It keeps on ringing on my ears. I don't know which hurt the most, his slap or him accusing me a liar.

My hand landed on my cheek where he slapped it. I feel like his hand was still there. It's sending me waves of pain as I try to caress it. How can he do that to me? Did I go so far for him to hurt so bad and hit me? It made me cry some more. It was hurting so bad. He turned around and let go a scream. It startled me. Maybe it was his way to release the anger within. I looked stupid crying behind him and still hoping he calms down.

Just when I thought he was finally calmed, he turned around and grabbed me again by my shoulder and let me stand. He grabbed my chin so I can see his face. The anger was still in his face coupled with sadness.

"Do you still love him?" he asked while staring at my face.

I can feel my tears rushing down my cheeks. I was already sobbing but he did not give any sympathy. It was hard to answer since he was holding me tightly on my chin.

"No." I managed to answer him.

His grip loosens as he pressed his forehead to mine and his hand, held me gently. My tears were still freely rushing down my cheeks. He cupped my face with both his palms and started kissing me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jann. I didn’t mean to hurt you." he said in between his kisses to me.

He kissed my eyes, nose, cheeks, chin, and lips while continuously saying how sorry he was. It's like he was trying to seize the pain I was feeling by his kisses. It made me stop crying but was still hurting inside. I still can’t believe he was able to hurt me physically.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry. Please say something, babe. Talk to me." more kisses as he pleaded for me to say something.

"Let me go," I told him as I was starting to feel my anger rising because of what he did.

It was the first time somebody ever slapped me, not even my parents. It just made me angrier realizing that it came from the person who I thought would cherish me the most. I guess I expected too much of him. Surprised with what I said, he hugged me tightly and started pleading again.

"No. Please, babe, don’t say that. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I was clouded by my jealousy. I’m sorry." he started crying while pleading.

My tears came rushing down my cheeks again when I saw him crying. I pity him so much but there was also a part of me that wanted to slap him back. How dare him hurt me? He keeps pleading and saying sorry until he was practically kneeling in front of me. He hugged me tighter.

"Please don’t leave me, Jann. I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to." he sobbed.

"Stand up, Marvin," I told him firmly as my anger was starting to build up inside me.

He practically dragged himself us while keeping me in his arms. Once he reached my face, he started kissing me again, this time it was more gentle.

"Sorry... I'm so sorry, babe... sorry," he whispered with every kiss that he gave me.

I slowly pulled away from him and looked at him. He looked so disheveled and hurt. I ran my fingers on his hair trying to calm him down from sobbing. He held on me tighter.

"What happened to you?" I asked as I continue to caress his face.

"I-I was so jealous, babe. My judgment was so clouded because of it," he whispered.

"I went to the covered court with Drake and we saw you dancing with him. He saw me. I know he saw me. Damn him!" he stated.

He clenched his fist again and I can feel his breathing going heavy. I was so scared at the moment because he might go on a rampage on me again. I was afraid he might hit me once more.

"Stop, babe. I am here with you right now. I am here." I said and kissed him on his lips.

I felt him relax which was a great relief on my part. Slowly he was able to calm down and invited me to sit on the bench. Once seated, we both looked at the sky. It wasn't so clear and some of the stars were covered with clouds. We didn't see our stars as well. Somehow, not seeing our stars there made me lonelier. He sighed before he continue talking to me.

"The moment I saw you dancing with him, I tried to approach you. I wanted so much to pull you away from him. Drake stopped me from making a scene. I was so angry because you let him hold you like that." he said trying to contain his anger from rising again.

I didn't say anything because there is no point in denying it anyway. I guess he was right. It was so wrong for me for allowing Markus to hold me like that again.

"I stopped going to you because I saw you... I-I saw you so... so peaceful while resting your head on his chest," he said with so much loneliness in his voice.

I was surprised by what he was saying. Was I that transparent with what I was feeling when I was with Markus? I looked at him and was about to say, "I am sorry", but he stopped me.

"Don't try to say that you are sorry. You still love him whether you admit it or not. I already know it and yet... I just can't help getting hurt. Damn, it hurts so bad, Jann" he said as he stood up and walked a few steps away from me.

"It made me wonder. Were you ever peaceful when you rest your head on my chest?" he whispered.

My tears rolled down my cheeks again. I can see how hurt he was and yet I don't know how to console him. Is this what the other people were saying about me? Was Drake right when he said that I will just hurt Marvin?

"I'm sorry." I managed to tell him.

He didn't say anything nor turned around to see me. I was hurting too. But honestly, I didn't know what the reason for my hurt feelings already. Was I crying because I know I've hurt him? Was I crying because he slapped me? Or was I crying because all he said was true? I still do love Markus after all those time and yes, I was peaceful in his arms. How am I to deny what I feel? How am I to comfort him? I had no clue.

A few more minutes, he turned around and held his hand out to me. There was a little smile on his face. I held on his hand and went to him. He hugged me again and he stroked my hair.

"I am so sorry, babe for hurting you. I hated myself for doing so. Please give me another chance to prove how much I love you." he said.

"You didn't have to. I already know that." I answered.

"I insist," he said.

He cupped my face with his palm and kissed me gently. He was back to the Marvin that I know. His lips carefully caressing mine. It should have been a very sweet kiss, but I tasted blood.