Let's Waste Time

Chapter Seventeen

Trent wouldn’t answer his phone. I left him a bunch of messages that said things like, “Trent, talk to me. I’m sorry, alright? Just let me explain. Give me something.” I didn’t know what to do. I’d betrayed him. He’d been honest from the start about Sasha. She was the one he betrayed. And his kids. And that was far worse than anything I had done to him. It was completely unfair for him to screw his wife while I sat around waiting for him to visit every few weeks. And then I just got outraged and called him again.

“You’re a huge f*****g hypocrite, and you know it. Call me,” I said. Then I hung up and tapped my phone against my knee. I was lying on my couch still, half dressed and angry. Luckily, I didn’t need to call him again. My phone rang a minute later. I scrambled to answer it.

“Hello?” I asked.

“It’s me,” Trent’s voice replied.

“I’m so sorry.” I sat up and dropped my head in my hand.

“I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to say right now.”

“I know. I was just so lonely, and you weren’t here, and I was upset. I got carried away. I didn’t mean for you to find me like that.”

“How long has this been going on?” I picked at the edge of my coffee table and sighed loudly.

“A while,” I admitted.

“Do you love him?” he asked.

“No, and he doesn’t love me either.”

“There’s a part of me that is extremely jealous and hurt by this. But you’re right. I’d be a hypocrite if I got angry at you. You know I love you, right?”

“Yes, and I love you too.”

“And I want to be with you. It’s just—Sasha and the kids need me. I feel like it’s my duty to take care of them. At least until she finds a donor. That’s why I haven’t been able to tell her yet.”

“I know that.”

“If I asked you to stop seeing that guy, would you?” he asked me.

“Of course,” I told him.

“I love you, Marley. And I want to be with you. Only you. I just can’t leave them yet. We’ll be together when it’s the right time. I promise. Try not to give up on me yet.”

“I haven’t. I won’t. I promise.”

“I’d like to come see you. I’m sorry I was late. My flight got rescheduled, and I should have called you. But I’m at the airport right now. I’m flying to Flagstaff, so I won’t be able to call you until I’m on the ground.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He disconnected, and I put my face in my lap. I nearly ruined everything. I was stupid, and I messed up. Chris and I should have just stayed friends. We were better as friends. So I stood up and went to my desk. I had to end it. It had gone on too long. We couldn’t sneak around anymore. There was no way to do this without complication or guilt.

So I wrote, “We can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry,” on a Post-It. Then I stepped outside to stick it on Chris’s door and rushed back into my apartment before he could hear me. I took the coward’s way out, but at least I did the right thing.

Or so I thought.