The Lost Wolf

The attempt at being normal.

The next week went by with no sign of my pack, we were less than two weeks away from the Full Moon and it was also Essie’s birthday a couple days before, so I spent a lot of time with her planning her 18th. King Daniel trained the both of us together, preparing Essie to meet her wolf and teaching me all the things I’d never been taught before.

Alex took me out hunting with a group of his friends, we were sure to be careful in the woods in case of any unexpected lurkers, we would run every night and each time it got even more exhilarating. Tasha would join us on these runs too, she wasn’t as bad as Essie had said but she also didn’t put too much effort into spending time with me. She clung off Alex mostly, and while he told me the two were slowly drifting, I knew she wasn’t ready for that. But I was okay with it… I think. I did tell him it would never happen between us, so I can’t be mad.

I talked to the healers a lot, trying to make sense of what happened to me in the constellation. They were unsure, some talked of myths where the wrong wolf had been paired with the body during the process, but they’d never seen it before. I kind of just convinced myself I was adopted or switched at birth because that was the easiest explanation. They told me that finding a second chance mate has a 5% rate of happening, but the first mate had to be rejected, and I just wasn’t ready for that yet. I wanted to get through the next full moon before I make any decisions.

Alex’s family had transformed a spare room into one of my own, letting me pick out all my own furniture and decoration. It was my little safe space.

“Saige.” Alex peeped around the corner of my door. “How do you feel about going to a good old school house party tonight?”

“People are partying and getting drunk while we’re preparing for an attack in less than two weeks?!”

“Time doesn’t just stop you know. We got to have fun and let loose sometimes. C’mon, it’ll be fun.” He cupped his hands in a begging motion and pouted. “Pleaaase.”

While I was hesitant, I did miss a good house party. “Alright, let me get ready.”

“Yes.” He punched the air. “Dress your sexiest.”

I scoffed and shooed him out. My wardrobe was full of Essie’s old clothes, and some new ones that she had purchased for me. I decided that I might just do what he says and get a little dressed up tonight, it would be nice to feel a little normal again.

I chose a thigh length baby pink spaghetti strap dress that hugged my hips and breasts neatly with some tan slip on sandals. My long blonde hair in a high pony and a little bit of concealer and blush to hide my lack of sleep.

Once I was ready, I made my way to Alex who was waiting downstairs with his best friend Ben and Tasha.

“Damn.” Ben exclaimed and wolf whistled.

I laughed and jokingly did a little twirl. “Oh, stop it.”

Alex was glaring at Ben now, but quickly snapped out of it. “You clean up nice, Saigey-girl.”

“Can’t remember the last time I felt like a real girl to be honest.”

“Okay, um.” Tasha cut me off. “Let’s head out then, we’re going to be late.”

“Tasha it’s a house party, you can’t be late.” Alex laughed. “Let’s have a drink first. Go sit down ladies, ya boy Al and big Benny are going to mix you up a special concoction.”

I laughed and Tasha and I walked out to the back dining area and sat on the outdoor lounges. It was a little awkward at first.

“So you live here now?” She asked. “Like, for good?”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know if its for good. But its for now and it’s been good?”

“And you know Alex and I are together right?” I was waiting for this conversation.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’m not like attacking you or anything, I just want it to be clear.” She smiled, but I sensed a tinge of fake.

“It’s okay, Tasha. Alex and I are friends, nothing more.” I wished it wasn’t just friends sometimes, but that’s life.

“I don’t really know if I trust you, honestly.” What?

I scoffed, without realising how bitchy I sounded. “You don’t need to trust me, you just need to trust Alex.”

“I do. But—“

“Tasha, stop. I’m not having this conversation.”

“Are you girls ready?” Saved by the bell, or in this case, the Ben and Alex.

Ben handed me a light pink cocktail that matched my dress. “I made it look pretty and pink, like you tonight.” He winked, causing my cheeks to flush a deeper pink than both my dress and drink.

“Smooth.” I smiled and took the drink, taking a sip. “Yum. Thank you.”

I could feel Alex’s gaze in the corner of my eye as he handed Tasha a drink and sat down opposite her while Ben sat right beside me.

“Cheers.” Ben held up his drink in the middle of the group. “To new friends and fun times.”

We all clinked our drinks together and then spent the next 45minutes chatting and laughing. It was nice to feel this again.

The party wasn’t too far away so we walked. Ben spent the entire time talking to me and really trying to get to know me. I couldn’t help but wish it could be like this with Alex, and I was grateful that he wasn’t all over Tasha, but I also decided I deserved a little bit of flirty attention.

Once we reached our destination, Tasha ran off with her friends and both boys did the same. I sat on my own for a while, before getting up to join Ben and some others in a game of beer pong.

The game was good, Ben and I beat the other team and I ended up getting a little drunker then I’d hoped. Afterwards, he led me outside to a swing set and we sat and talked for what seemed like hours.

He was an interesting guy, 20 years old, a Lycan. He’d known Alex his whole life, they grew up together and have been pretty much inseparable. The sad fact was, he was another Lycan who hadn’t met his mate yet, so another off limits person, but possibly someone I could have a little fun with for a while.

We were interrupted by a very drunk Alex, he stumbled over and I stood up to hold onto him. He grinned sheepishly and looked at Ben. “Mind if I steal her for a little, I want to show her something.”

Ben waved his hands and laughed at Alex. “Not sure how far you’ll get before you pass out, but be my guest.”

I held Alex as we walked through the yard, and he led me to a little veggie garden. “Is this what you wanted to show me?”

“Nah.” He paused. “I have to be honest, I don’t want to see you with other guys.”

I frowned. “I’m not with other guys, I was just talking to Ben… But even if I were you can’t say that.”

“I know what you said. Its not going to happen because I’ll meet my mate and all that bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, Alex… it’s the reality.”

He sat down on the grass with his feet planted on the ground and his elbows resting on his knees. “I can’t help it, Saige. I feel drawn to you. I know we aren’t mated, but I want to be with you. I’ll reject my mate.”

“You’re so drunk, Alex. Stop please.”

He stood up. “Stop? So you’re seriously not going to give into whatever we are feeling? I know you feel it too.”

“I don’t want to end up hurt. I’ll never mate, you will. I see the way Tasha looks at you and longs for you and I don’t want to feel like that. We’ve only known each other a couple weeks, it’s early enough for me to put that wall up and save myself.”

“A couple weeks and we’ve been through so much together already. I won’t hurt you.” He was slurring his words and I knew it was time to cut this conversation short.

I did like him, I felt exactly what he felt, there was something about him that made him feel right, but I didn’t know what it is, and I just could not put myself in that situation and be in love with someone that is fated to another. “I know you wouldn’t mean to hurt me. Alex, I’m sorry. You are a great guy, but you’re not for me.” It stung a little to speak those words.

“Really?” He asked one final time. After I nodded my head, he muttered ‘okay’, and walked back to the party in silence.

‘That was the right thing to do… right?’ I questioned Ecko.

Yes, he’s not my mate.

‘Ugh, I don’t know why I bother going to you for advice.’

I’m sorry.

‘No you’re not.’ I shut her out again.

I slowly trailed back to the party but once I got there, I decided to walk back to Alex’s house on my own to find Essie watching a movie in her room. I crawled in beside her and snuggled up to her under the covers. She wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly.

“Do you want to talk?” She asked quietly.

“Mm mm.” I shook my head.

***

Morning came and the birds were singing. Essie climbed out of bed and opened her bedroom windows before jumping back in the bed and giving me another cuddle.

“It wasn’t my brother was it?”

“No, he’s okay. I like him, but we aren’t mated… I can’t be with him now only to be broken when he meets her. At least with Tasha she will eventually meet her mate too and get over it, that wouldn’t happen for me.”

“Is he with her now?” She questioned.

I shook my head. “No no, I’m just referring to that situation.”

“Well, whatever is meant to be will be. It might not be Alex, it’s definitely not your brother, but there is somebody out there for you and everything happens for a reason.” Her words were comforting. “I mean, just date me if you like?”

We both laughed and decided we better get up for the day. I had a shower and washed my hair, sprayed my favourite perfume too many times and dressed in a plain tee and shorts before making my way to the dining room to join Essie for breakfast.

It wasn’t long before footsteps advanced closer to us and much to my dismay, Tasha appeared in the same clothes she had on last night… she’d slept here, with Alex. Even though I told him to be with her, I had hoped he wouldn’t.

Essie was glaring at her, and then looking at me, then glaring again. “Alex!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Alex came running, thinking something was wrong with Essie, but when he saw Tasha standing in front of us, he knew the only person in the wrong was him.

Daniel and Luci were behind him, both confused as to why Essie was screaming.

I mouthed, ‘Don’t’ to her, and she shook her head and said, “Don’t worry, thought I saw a snake.” I couldn’t help but notice her eyes were on Tasha as she said the word snake.

“A snake? God, you’re dramatic Ess.” Daniel laughed and pulled up a chair. “You kids going to sit down?” He looked at Alex, who’s eyes darted to me and then to Tasha.

“I’ll sit.” Tasha smiled and sat at the table with us. “I can’t stay long, I’ve barely slept.” I may be overreacting, but I could swear she smirked at me.

Essie rolled her eyes. “Not necessary, Natasha.”

“What I—“ Tasha began.

“Play nice, Essie.” Alex warned.

“You know what, I’m just going to go.” Tasha got up. “Bye guys, bye babe.” She kissed Alex’s mouth and rushed out the door.

“So…” Daniel began, breaking the awkward silence. “We’re getting closer to the full moon, Saige. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” I lied. “I just hope nobody gets hurt. If I have to go with them to save you guys, I will.”

“We would never let you do that.” Luci exclaimed. “You’re family now.”

“Yeah, sis.” Alex scoffed and sat beside me. “You’re family.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Alex!” Essie growled at him from across the table.

“Yeah what’s with the attitude?” Luci questioned her son. “Too much to drink?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Ess, your birthday is so soon.” I said, changing the conversation.

My conversation changer worked and led to Essie rambling on about how excited she was for her birthday. I could feel Alex’s eyes burning into me so I refused to make eye contact.

After breakfast, I went out for a normal human jog around the block to clear my head. Everything was so strange now, it’s been two weeks since my life turned upside down and in 2 weeks it could either get much worse or… who I am kidding it’s not going to get better. I was so angry at my family and my pack for turning out to have some evil within them, but I also loved them still. I was caught between wishing I’d just had a normal transition to thankful that I’ve met Daniel, Luci, Essie… and of course Alex.

I was starting to come to the realisation that living with this clan is my forever one because I feel like my pack wouldn’t accept me living with them as a Lycan, and two, according to everyone here, I need to be with my own kind.

Once back home, Alex was sitting out the back on his own, I went and joined him.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, handing him my bottle of water.

“Bit seedy. You?” He stated.

“I’m good, I’ve never been a huge drinker so last night as soon as I felt my drunk eyes coming on I had to get out of there.” I laughed. “But you went hard, Mr Party boy.”

“Go hard or go home, right.” He chuckled. “Look I’m sorry if I… I shouldn’t have… I don’t…”

“Its okay.” I stopped him. “I’m not mad at you. I told you to stay with her, she’s your girlfriend. We’re friends, Alex.”

“I was going to apologise for unloading all my feelings onto you lastnight. The decision you made for us makes sense, while I don’t like it, you’re right. I’ve never really met a girl that I’ve just wanted to be with so bad, so the feelings are all new to me, I know it’s not the mate bond and I know I’ll meet someone else one day, but right now I wish it was you, and that’s something I have to get over. I really respect you, Saige. And I want to be able to be here for you and help you get through all this, but that’s not going to happen if I can’t let go of these feelings. So from here on out, I promise to lay off and be the friend that you need.”

“Thank you.” I moved closer to him and gave him a hug. “Can I just say, you smell like s**t have you not showered yet?”

He laughed and held me tighter, rubbing his body against mine. “Mm, take it all in.”

I pushed myself away from him laughing. “Go have your shower because I will not be training with you if you smell like a brewery.”

***

At training, Daniel took us through all the retreat and exit strategy plans, we learnt how to climb to the top of a tree with no branches, the different meanings of howls; danger, I’m safe, I need immediate attention, somebodies died, time to flee; we learnt how to properly sneak through the shadows without making a sound, the importance of grabbing the children first and getting them to safety if it looks like we’re going down.

It worried me learning these sorts of things, but I knew it was protocol and better to be safe than sorry. Daniel reassured me that he would try to talk to them first and hopefully be able to come to a mutual agreement so that nobody had to get hurt.

After training for 6 hours, Daniel called a meeting with the entire town. I sat with his family while he spoke to all of his people.

“So by now you’re all aware that there is a possible threat.” He began. “You all deserve to know what happened and what could happen during the full moon so with our new member Saige’s permission, I will happily inform you all.” He looked at me and waited for me to nod before continuing. He then went on to explain step by step everything that had happened, everything that went on with me and my transition and what was expected from my pack in the next couple of weeks. While I was slightly embarrassed, I admired the honesty and communication that he gave to his people, nobody was left in the dark and everybody was included as a valuable member of the team. It wasn’t like this back home.

During the explanation, there was a couple scoffs which was to be expected, some were worried and probably blamed me, but they were right to. Most had warm and fierce eyes, ready to protect their own kind at all costs.

“We all know the risks living in an area that is heavily populated by werewolves, and as we know, they usually aren’t as welcoming and kind as we are. My parents have built a foundation that created harmony between us, but we all knew it couldn’t last forever. We are strong, and we are ready. If anybody wishes to be evacuated, please let my wife know before sundown today and we can have it arranged and get you guys somewhere safe. For everyone that is ready to stand strong, we will have meetings every day for the next couple of week’s right here at 4pm every day.”

Suddenly the entire room erupted with howls and cheering. Not one person was left in their seat and not one person looked frightened to protect their own kind. It was incredible to see the loyalty and commitment each and every single person in this clan had for their own kind.