JOURNAL OF MY EVERYDAY LIFE MAMF

DO NOT BE 03292025

March 29, 2025

12:50am

"Do not be."

I’m tired, Lord, tired of always overthinking. Thank You again, Lord, for the patience You’ve given me. I accidentally closed the window and didn’t save what I wrote earlier, but it’s okay because it wasn’t that long yet. Thank You again, Lord, for the opportunity to serve You yesterday at Soakers. I need to be ready anytime You call me to serve You. More than obeying my leaders, it is You whom I obey first, Lord. I don’t want to hide the talent You’ve given me, as it is one of the ways I can serve You now. I still have a lot to improve in myself, but thank You, Lord, for leading the way yesterday in worshiping You. You taught me how to be sensitive to Your Holy Spirit and to listen to You. But Lord, why is it that sometimes I still doubt? I know that when there are positive promptings, they are truly from You. But the danger sometimes, Lord, is that I don’t want it to just be my own thoughts or another voice running through my mind. Even in worshiping You earlier, it was already such a battle. Thank You, Lord, that we had that unity yesterday in worshiping You. It was indeed one of the most intimate experiences and encounters with You. More than our senses, Lord, Your presence truly made a difference yesterday in a way I can’t explain. I just couldn’t stop worshiping You, but I also need to preserve my voice for the upcoming services. I’ll be back as a worship leader again, Lord, and it’s really challenging because there are so many challenges along the way. The distractions and hindrances are overwhelming, but Lord, help me focus more on You so that I don’t prioritize anything above You.

Proverbs 3:7

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

Fear the Lord and depart from evil.

It’s been a long time since I replied to one of the applications I submitted, Lord. I was surprised when I got offered the role of Senior Bookkeeper, as I had only applied for smaller roles to increase my chances of getting in. But well, even though I’m playing it safe with my applications now, if it’s not meant for me, it won’t come to me. I’m not worried, Lord, about not having a stable job right now. What I’m worried about is not having good sources of income to cover my expenses, contribute to the household, or even afford meals outside sometimes. I really miss playing badminton, Lord, and there’s so much I want to buy to improve my game, but this is where I am now. I’m just waiting for Your grace. I’m still very thankful, Lord, because I still have food to eat today. Unlike before, when the consequences of my poor decisions were severe. I used to prioritize buying other things and compromised my budget for my living space and even my meals. Up to now, Lord, I admit that I’ve been very wasteful, but I’m still thankful for the wisdom You constantly give me. Every day, the temptations are intense. They never stop, from morning until night. Having fellowship with You, Lord, is more than enough to overcome the temptations around me. Sometimes, I don’t even understand myself, Lord, especially when it comes to things I can’t control. Within myself, it’s so hard to restrain emotions that aren’t right. It’s easier to just let them out and be done with it, but that’s not what You want, Lord. I know I’m tired right now, Lord, as I write this part of my journal, but I have to. This is my commitment to You, Lord—that whatever happens to me at the end of the day, I need to share it with You. I know, Lord, that You see everything, but I also want to experience for myself the memories I recall within the day. I don’t go back to read my previous entries often, but I know, Lord, that through this practice, I will grow closer to You. How can I testify if I don’t even record all Your goodness to me? I believe that every day, all of us humans are changing, and I pray it’s for the better. Late realizations aren’t really late because we can still do things today that will determine our future. We may not know what the future holds, but I trust God that in the preparations we’re making now, we will surely achieve what He has in store for us. It’s really hard to make time for personal prayer compared to big gatherings. What’s the difference between being with Christian friends and communing with God in our secret rooms? It’s hard to stay consistent, but thank You, Lord, that even if only a few people know about my writings for You, I still value this as something just for me. Again, Lord, You don’t really need this because You already know what will happen today, but I just want and need You more every day. It’s up to others how they deal with their personal lives and their relationship with You, Lord. What matters most to me is where I stand with You now. What am I doing for You, Lord? Am I pleasing You the way You want me to be and act? I know, Lord, that we will never be enough and can never match what You’ve done in our lives. I just pray, Lord, that whatever warnings come from the Soakers’ prayers and encounters with You, let them encourage us. Don’t let us fall again into the traps of the enemy, who has never been able to defeat You. In whatever we do, Lord, may You always be with us, and may we listen to You first, not ourselves or others. Lord, teach us always the way to everlasting life. I LOVE YOU JESUS❤️