Escha Rose

"I would, Ava"

AVA POINT OF VIEW

I try to pull my arm away from her but she grabs my wrist. I cry out softly and she lets go. The hoodie comes up on my arm and she stops. "...What are those?'' she asks in a voice that just makes me want to crawl into a hole. I shake my head no but she doesn't give up. "I'm NOT going to ask again." she says moving her eyes to my face. She looks so....hurt. So disappointed.. and it makes me feel like s**t. I don't know why but i hate disappointing her or the feeling of it. When i first seen her on her first day, my breath caught in my throat and i was so drawn into her. But i know that we could never... you know.. be together. I wouldn't want her to get bullied or talked about because she is hanging out with me. I snap back to reality and look down to my arm. 

"those are... a way for me to control my pain" i whisper.. If she wasn't standing so close to me she wouldn't have heard me. "Why do you have these?" she asks after a moment of silence. 

"Why do you care, leave me alone....please" i plead quietly.

"I care because.. i don't know why i care but i do. We are friends.. Remember?" she says shaking my shoulder with her hand lightly. I look up to her face and she looks back at me. "you.. you were serious about being  my friend?'' i ask in disbelief. She nods her head and i feel like a switch has been turned inside of me. I have never had a friend. I thought i did one time but that was in 9th grade.. and she betrayed me.. the thought brings tears to my eyes. i let them roll down my face and she wipes them with the back of her hand. "please don't cry Ava. Your my friend. and i don't know what has happened but i won't leave you.. not like this.'' I sink down to my knees and she stands there for a moment and then joins me on the floor. I look at her confused and she just smiles at me."What?" i ask chuckling despite the thoughts going through my head. She shakes her head nothing and i hear the bell ring. "Well seeing as though we are late for class would you like to talk a little longer?" she asks with a hopeful look on her face. I nod my head yes and wipe my face. She picks up my bag and her bag and stands back up. She is taller than me. She must be 5'6, which towers over my 5'0 form.. We walk out side and she leads me to her car. 

We've been driving for 10 minutes now and  i am confused as to where we are going.. and i try not to let it show. 

ESCHA POINT OF VIEW

I smile to myself when i see that she looks nervous. i wouldn't hurt her  or do anything bad too her. I hope she knows that. I am taking us to my house. I needed to check up on Lacey anyway. I get out of the car and go to open Ava's door. She looks surprised at first but lets me help her out of the car. I lead her to the front door and i unlock it. When i open the door their is Lacey on the couch, sleeping with some soup in front  of her on the table. I shake my head and move to cover her up with the cover she has over her legs. Its cold in here. I turn back around and i am surprised that Ava is still standing there watching me. She looks hurt. Her expression holds jealousy and hurt. I smirk and point over my shoulder to Lacey. "That's my sister" and her whole look changed in a split second. I could have sworn That i saw relief wash over her face but i could be wrong. It was gone as soon as it came. 

I take her hand and i lead her upstairs to my room. She sits on my bed and i sit at my rolling chair at my desk. '' tell me why you cut yourself Ava. And i don't want to hear anything but the truth. i'm not going to leave you, i hope you know that. You can trust me, i hope you know that too." i start off really wanting to know why she cuts. Its not good.

"I just have a lot going on right now. could we talk about that later?" she asks shifting on my bed. I sigh and get up. I walk over to her and pull up my sleeves. She gasps at what she sees. I have scars from when i cut. "Ava i used to be like you. But i'm going to tell you right now, if you cut deep enough you will not be able to come back from it. When you cut you don't do it to get rid of the pain, you do it to control what ever is happening in your life. Your not in control of something in your life. And you think cutting allows you to have control but it doesn't. You cannot hold control of your life doing stuff like this. I did it because i felt really guilty. I felt as if maybe i would be better off dead. But i hadn't thought about how everyone else would feel. I didn't even think about how Lacey would feel. When she found me in my bed with these cuts she took me to the hospital and when i woke up she cut me a new one. My point of this long winded speech is that someone needs you. Whether you know it or not, someone needs you. And if you kill yourself what will  they do? think about that. " i say pulling my sleeves back down. 

She kept her head down my whole speech. She looks like she is in deep thought until she finally speaks up. "..But who.. Who in their right minds would me? A freak. someone who IS worthless and who doesn't have a reason to live. Someone who doesn't have friends and who her own dad despises." she starts crying. "who would miss me if i was to die Rose? I know who: no one. Because i don't matter." she finishes and sobs rack her frame. she starts pulling at her hair and i move towards her and pull her hand down. She falls forward and i hold her. "W-who would n-need me Rose?" she repeats over and over to me. And i grab her face in my hand and wipe her tears. she has more pooling in her eyes. 

" I would, Ava" i say, and then i crash my lips to hers.