I stood at the window with the drapes parted just enough to see dawn begin to fill the sky. Sleep had proved elusive. I was, of course, uneasy about seeing my family again later today. Or more precisely, about seeing my father. Just as my three-year absence in Rome had given me a fresh perspective on my relationship with him on my return, I understood my changed life now would do the same.
In truth, what I did not want to face, finally, was the knowledge that he did not love me and probably never had. And that I had no idea why. Yet how could I not be certain of it now? For I loved Susannah and our children with all my heart and knew this would be transparent when I looked at them. I had never seen such a thing from him. Had I ever seen it for any of us?
I turned at the sound of Susannah
