Can’t Fight Love

Chapter 18

  The cool ac air hit my fresh face Wednesday morning when I walked into the pro shop, smiling at Eric, two coffees in hand. 

“Well two mornings in a row,” he chuckled deeply. Eric is smiling bright, total change from yesterday. 

I flip on a southern accent, “I am a lady, Mr. Dasilva,” I bat my eyes announcing every word slowly, “what ever could you be talking about?”

“This coming from Blanch Devarow herself?” He replies and I laugh hard. 

“Shut up, I got you coffee.” 

“So are you going to tell me about him?” Eric leaned on the counter as I put myself and my stuff behind it. 

My stomach is filled with butterflies. I thought back to this morning.  I was up and out of the house before he was, but that didn’t stop him from pulling me in as I tried to get out of bed and nuzzling my neck for a second as he inhaled my scent before I got up. X groaned when I let him know it was just after 5 and mumbled about making too much money to be up at this time. I chuckled and replied, “to be you” and left him there. I didn’t go back in for a goodbye kiss. What was this? Besides he was probably back in a deep sleep. 

“Earth to Tori..” Eric waved. “Hmm?” I replied “Do I have to worry about you ditching me too?” Eric’s face looked a little pained. His voice was strained. “Hell no” I assured him “I’m totally crashing this wedding. In that tiny little dress. This b***h is going to regret everything” Eric’s smile grew ear to ear. 

It was around 4pm when I got out of the course and realized I had a wide open evening. Xavier hadn’t said anything about tonight. We hadn’t talked about anything other than I was going to be going to his house.

But that was assuming I was working obscene hours. 

I decided to head home. 

Walking into my childhood home, I felt the tension. My mother was starting dinner, my father was playing with the two Bernese Mountain dogs out back and Heart was blaring. It seemed like things were perfect, but my mother is notorious for that passive aggressive energy. The kitchen was bright, but smaller. The house they bought 20 years ago, built in 1912. It still had some of its charm but was deeply upgraded. The light grays and deep blues and whites were just so pleasing to my eyes. I smiled at some pictures on the big stainless steel fridge before giving my mother a peck on the cheek.

“Hey,” I smile at my mother. “Oh, look what the devil brought home.” She eyed me. She definitely didn’t condone my behavior of drinking and sleeping around.“Nice to see you too.” I rolled my eyes and walked over to the stove, grabbing a hot sizzling bell pepper out of the pan and eating it.“Don’t eat that, it’s for dinner” she scolded me. I’m 25 and here we are. 

Just then my father walked in with the dogs. They came barreling over to me, leaping up and pushing each other out of the way to give me those big Berner hugs. “Oooohhh that’s a good boy and girrrrlll” I say scratching their bellies, but they are sniffing. Hard. All over my bag and shoes. 

“I know a certain gentleman with a very well trained Boykin spaniel” my father eyes me, “I’m surprised to see you” as the three of us stand in the kitchen. It suddenly feels so small. 

“Well it seems at least one of us knew where she’s been!” My mother scolded the two of us. 

“Ummm hellooo I work crazy hours” I reminded the two of them. All this money they had. And I was working my ass off. But that’s how we were raised. It wasn’t our money. Sure they helped me when I really needed it. But I had to work for it. It’s the reason I worked at two courses. I had to get experience before I worked at his. 

“Yeah I know the hours you work,” my father eyed me as I sat down at the table, the dogs at my feet. “Listen, be careful, I know all about Xavier.” 

“That’s who she’s been spending time with?” My mother’s shocked expression tells me she had zero clue. 

My father continued, “I don’t care who you spend your time with,” he continued, “I don’t care how big his d**k is,” and now my eyes were wide with shock holding back a chuckle as my mother loses it, “just make sure he makes well into the 6 figures AND treats you right.” with a giant emphasis on AND.

I laugh. This is a dig. My ex has nothing. Had nothing. I was 17 and stupid. I don’t regret it because it taught me a lot and I have my two beautiful baby girls. To top it off, my ex is verbally abusive and lazy, so it was awesome ::insert sarcasm::. Divorce meant a life of struggling. For child support. For help. But I didn’t care. Greener f*****g pastures. 

We talked for another 20 minutes about how the girls were doing and all the activities we were planning for them when they returned. Rose was turning 7 in a month and preparations were beginning. 

"What are your plans for tonight?" My mother asked.

Right on cue, my phone buzzed. X: are you close?

My heart beat hard in my chest and my face flustered. I could feel the heat, in my cheeks, between my legs, and the butterflies were wild.

“Go,” my father cut in, “he does know how to have a good time.” 

I quickly replied: I just got out of work, I have to head to my house real quick.

Suddenly I felt guilty and I had no clue or real reason. It was a little lie. I lie to men all the time. Literally. Every time. I laugh uneasily at this thought. 

X: how about we go out for dinner 

I cannot help the instant smile that spreads across my face and I type feverishly: do I have to dress up? Immediately I remember I’m in my work uniform but my closet is right upstairs - I start thinking about what I’ll be wearing. I start imagining what I want to see him take off of me. 

“Well, Ria,” my mother sighed, “that’s a pretty big smile” And I’m suddenly pulled back to my kitchen with my parents. I decided to be honest. As much as my parents didn’t always like hearing what came out of my mouth, they appreciated being kept in the loop. 

“Xavier has asked me to spend the remaining weeks at his house before the girls return.” I say in one breath. Both my parents are stunned, “his house is centrally located to all my jobs, obviously closest to our course so it’s super convenient.” I pause for a moment and a small smile kept on my face, “plus, it’s nice.”

My mother opened her mouth to reply, but my father cut her off. “Ok” he smiled “have fun”

I texted x: I’ll be there in 45 minutes. I had 15 minutes to freshen up and change. 

This was my specialty. As a mom, a single mom, with three jobs, well you learn to get ready in record time with the most minimal circumstances. Sometimes it's forgetting a crucial piece of makeup, or the right shoes. Sometimes it's getting ready in the dark in your car or at red lights.

And sometimes it's 15 minutes for your date. I knew I would be touching my makeup up along the drive at red lights, if I counted correctly I would probably hit 3 out of 5 lights and then I could let him know I need to freshen up once I get there. 

I run upstairs and peel my clothes off quickly and hop in the shower to rinse off. After 2 minutes of washing and rinsing, I hop out and dry quickly. I did not wash my hair or my face, so I just spray my lotion and then spray my body spray. 

8 Minutes left. I ran to my closet and picked out my outfit. A barely see-through cheetah print off the shoulder top with a black strapless bra. It's only sheer when you are super close, but I smiled knowing he would see it. 

I put on a pair of dark skinny jeans and slipped on a black open toe suede bootie. I added my dainty gold chain that has a small round black charm with a gold bee that rested on my bare collar line. I pinned my hair in a wild loose low bun and added my diamond studded earrings, some gold and black leather and mixed bracelets.

3 minutes left I touched up my contour and my eye brows. I added a little extra dark liner to my eyes.

Time was up and I was out the door. 

By the time I got to X's house, mascara was needed. 

The view, pulling up that nasty driveway, was worth it every time. It was still bright out, and golden. Tall lilies, grasses, rose bushes, daisies and so many other colorful flowers. The rushing water, the chirping birds, it was breathtaking. 

I got out of the van and I could hear the barking over loud music.

I could hear Xavier's deep voice singing along with the tune. Smiling as I opened the door, there he was. So damn sexy. Leaning over the kitchen island, pouring what looked like titos and cran, swaying his hips as Bogey rubbed along my legs, wagging his butt, I began to scratch his chocolate fur. 

"Yes you're lovely," he began to sing, finishing up his pouring and looking at me, "with your smile so warm," and he put the bottles down and walked towards me, "and your cheeks so soft" Frank Sinatra was blaring through the speakers around the house. He crossed into the living room where I was

He suddenly grabbed me, snaking one arm around my waist, his left hand taking my right hand. He pulled our bodies close as I rested my left hand on his right bicep. Xavier took control and began to sway our bodies. 

He didn't continue to sing. Instead, he pressed his soft lips to my exposed shoulder. A giggle escaped my lips and I felt my body tense just enough, the hairs stood on my neck. Goosbumps flooded my arms. I felt his lips form a smile as he continued to press his them up my neck. Our hips were swaying gently. The smell of mint mixed with his cologne intoxicated me. 

Xavier whispered into my ear softly, "You are so sexy," and I giggled again, "What are you doing to me," and he guided my right hand to the growing bulge in his pants.

I snapped back to reality. What was he doing to me? I pushed him away gently, "Well," I smiled seductively as I put space between us, "We don't want to startle the other restaurant patrons." and I turned my back to him leaving Xavier standing in his living room. I walked to the kitchen island and grabbed a beverage, "Road soda?" I asked him.

 I hopped up into his giant Ford f350. I took it in. Silver on the outside, black leather on the inside and it just feels large. It smelled like him, and was warm like him. 

Xavier got into the driver's seat. "Why do you have such a big truck? You sell insurance and play golf." I pointed out. There was nothing that irritated me more than a man who feels he has to have a big truck just because he should. 

"Yeah," he agreed, "Judge Judy, I also do all my own house renovations and I hunt." he smiled slightly, never taking his magnificent eyes off the road. 

I arched my eyebrows. He called me out on being judgmental and impressed me at the same time. My ex was a useless stick. Literally. This man provided over and over and I suddenly was super aware of the situation and a wave of nervousness lapped over me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I caught myself right before I began to fantasize about a potential future to this man.

Never. The. f**k. Again.

Besides this was all going to end.

"Are you one of those women who doesn't like hunting?" Xavier's deep voice brought me back.

"What?" I was trying to regain my cool

"Hunting." He sighed. "I love to hunt. You know where I went to high school, it was normal to get up early in the morning, go hunt and then go straight to school?" he chuckled at the memory. I thought about this for a second, "Yup. Guns in our truck." Xavier laughed. Where in the f**k did this guy grow up?

"No." I responded, still looking at him questionably, "I am one of those, 'you bring me home meat and I'll make you a meal' kind of girls." I replied before realizing what I was saying. I loved to cook but that was wifey s**t. I am no one's wifey. 

"Really?" Xavier replies in a dangerous tone. His right hand grabs my left hand and he smirks at me. "I'd like to taste your cooking."

"I got something for you to taste," I quickly replied. Hopefully he doesn't realize I am changing the subject from domesticated partnerships and keeping it s****l.

Xavier lets out a deep laugh, "Oh yeah?" he says between chuckles. "I have some meat for you."

I wiggle my eyebrows at him. Yeah he does. 

Instinctively I turn the radio up,

Fever by Peggy Lee was playing and I love this song. I sway seductively but never make eye contact with him. I can feel Xavier steel glances, but when I move to music, something just comes over me. I feel the beat and I just move. I danced and cheered my whole life and I was rhythmically talented. I moved my body, checking my makeup in the mirror, putting on lip gloss and singing along. I may not have looked like I was paying attention to him, but I was putting on a show.  By the time it is done playing, we were in front of a beautiful Italian restaurant. 

"You have a strange taste in music" Xavier smiles at me as he opens my door and takes my hand.

"Oh I will drop it to Lil Wayne, shake it with Garth Brooks, sing along with Queen, cook with Ray Chalres, rock out with Halestorm, strike a pose with Madonna, get dirty with Christina Aguilera and literally everything else." I exclaimed walking in. I didn't even realize Xavier's hand was on the small of my back with a finger lingering towards the top of my ass. It just felt so natural.

"Interesting," he nodded. Xavier opened the doors for me and guided me into the establishment. Dark woods, jazz, pictures of old time Hollywood, it was absolutely perfect. "Balmacentura for two" and I looked at the hostess. She did not see me. 

This tall young blonde batted her long lashes, "Mr. Balmacentura, wonderful to see you again," and there was something in her voice that just didn't seem right, it was personal, "Right this way," and she finally acknowledged my presence. 

THIS b***h really looked me up and down with the fakest smile. She was like 12! She could be in school with my kids! 

Not really, I am exaggerating. But still. She was a child.

Fuck. What is wrong with me? Why do I care?

I followed this blonde t**t weaving through the restaurant that was mildly busy. "Here you are," and she waved out her hand to a private rounded booth in the back. It had a romantic feel with lights and a set of deep red velvet privacy curtains. 

I slid into the booth. Then watched with wide eyes as Xavier said "Thank you Stephanie," leaned in, kissed her cheek and slipped her a $100 bill.

"See you later." her voice changed really showing how young she was and I was so confused. What in the f**k was going on? But could I ask? Do I have a right? Did we NOT SAY we would not see other people for now??

Nope. I was not going to say anything. But suddenly I felt the cold ice cover my soul again. I am so stupid. I took a sip of the cold water that the new waitress placed in front of me to cool the fire in me. And why was I so worked up? I side glance at Xavier who is sitting just the right distance from me checking his phone. Good. I was not noticed. I took a breath.

"You're fascinating." Xavier breathed."Sure," I refused to look at him, staring blankly out into the restaurant at the other patrons. I c****d an eyebrow. I was no longer amused. 

Why was I f*****g annoyed? I needed to control myself and get a grip. 

"Is something the matter?" Xavier tilted his head, leaning an elbow to the table, looking slightly amused. Now I know he is playing some game.

But I always play better.

I seductively run my fingers across my collarbone. Drawing attention to the vulnerable spots he loves to put his lips. Then I glance up, batting my long lashes. My eyes met his emerald green orbs and they held a hunger. 

"This is perfect" I purred to him. He will never know the turmoil in head. 

We drank wine, I ordered their house ravioli, he ordered lamb. We laughed, told stories about our siblings and other childhood memories. It was natural. It was so comfortable. The music was intoxicating and I felt myself swaying.

I had zero cares. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing. There was no stress. No tension.

This was all so new to me. This whole feeling. 

That was the problem, I felt myself feeling. 

As I forked a small piece of cheesecake and was bringing it to my mouth, Xavier's deep voice sent a chill down my spine, "You know, I thought when we sat down, this evening was going to turn a little sour," he chuckled.

Apparently, we were still playing this little game. "Why on earth would you think that?" I asked innocently, looking shocked. But I knew why he thought that. I sensually placed the cheesecake in my mouth and slowly pulled the fork out. I moaned lightly. His green eyes were a little glazed over, staring fiercely at my mouth. I let the tiniest bit of the corner of my mouth turn up just to let him know I was watching him. "This cheesecake is delicious" trying to change the subject.

Xavier tilted his head, his thick eyebrow arched, "Stephanie." he breathed out.

I forced myself not to wince. I took a sip of my wine, did a long blink, and smiled at him, "I do not worry myself with other women," I smile slyly. Typically, I didn't. I never competed with other women, because I would never fight over a man. I had too many of them to do that. "Besides," I put my glass down, and slid near to him, gliding my hand on his thigh closest to me, I leaned in close to his ear, letting my breasts brush against him, "we all have a past," I whispered, giving him a peck on the cheek and sitting back. I nonchalantly took a sip of wine. 

Xavier didn't move for a second. Then he chuckled. "I can't even imagine your past," then his face turned serious, "nor do I want to," he sighed, "but Stephanie is my niece. This is my brother's restaurant, and if you ask her, she better tell you I am her favorite uncle." he chuckled and I snapped back.

What. the. f**k.

Not only was I SO stupid and mistook her affections for her  UNCLE, which I NOW felt so gross about, but I got angry at myself for it. AND I am at his FAMILY'S restaurant. Were they watching? Were they judging? 

God, I was so uncomfortable, but I would not show it. I would remain calm. But we needed to get out of there asap.