Detective Dickson 5 : Existential Pandemic

An awkward reunion

"I am the good doer, protector of all life forms and guardian of the multiverse, I shall vanquish you, evil doer" came d**k's voice as he now stood before Larias and Meglor.

"We shall prevail and destroy all" Larias screams aloud as he dashes towards d**k but he trips on a slime and falls to the ground, d**k brings out his golden weapon and lands a hit on Meglor's head sending him to the ground.

"And I am his gorgeous assistant, Lefinna" came the voice of a blonde girl dressed as Lefinna, his other comrades, Katharina, Redoulp, Myranha and everyone he had made alliance with came out.

"Protector d**k, we have taken control of the evil one's servants, the multiverse is once again protected" came Alucard as he approached d**k.

"Yes, it is done, now to lunge forward and transverse into victory" d**k smiles as he jumps away, his comrades follow after him.

"AND THIS COMMENCES THE END OF EPISODE 476 OF ADVENTURES OF HERO DICKSON, TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE" came a notification on the screen followed by the theme song

"Hero hero hero, hero Dickson, protector of lives around the multiverse and lover of beautiful women, he is hero hero hero hero hero HERO DICKSON."

"Seriously, is this really the best they could do, been to trillions of different planets and hundreds of universes and all these shows about me just suck balls" d**k mutters as he watches the show, he had just returned from visiting his daughter and giving her a birthday present, he removed the cap and mask he was wearing, surrounded by lots of beautiful women, they were watching that show with him, most of them weren't human as they possessed green skin with antennas, some pink skin and tentacles, others had weird strange body modifications like seven boobs and three heads with snake tongues.

"The show is really splendiferous..." one of the women says aloud, she seemed to be the most dominant one of the uncountable number of females which surrounded the handsome stud as she had the most physical contact with the Alpha-human, she turns towards d**k as she continues

"... just like your performance on bed."

Dick was smiling before but her words caused his smile to disappear, the show sucked in his opinion, him hearing that his performance was like the show didn't really seem to do good to his ears

"Thanks, I guess."

"So would you like to suck mama boobs" she says as she pushes four other ladies who were surrounding d**k away, one was quietly sucking his c**k, her long tongue curling his genital unmistakable.

"You have been sucking his c**k for more than five minutes now" came another female's voice.

"It's my turn" one other female shouts aloud.

Dick grins, personally he didn't care, all he was interested in was breaking his previous incarnation record, though he knew it was over a billion ladies and obviously different life forms, he was sure if he did it with about two billion, he would have undoubtedly broken the record, there were about eight million women of different species and life forms in the room he was, he had gone to a planet full of women in other to achieve his goals. The room he was presently in was equivalent to the size of a state on earth, but in the planet he was, there was nothing like cities, it was divided into brothels instead of cities, states, countries or continents. It was popular for men who were dimensional travellers to stop by and have a good time.

"This planet had about six thousand brothels each with an average of five million women per one, that's about 30 billion sweet p*****s neglecting the ones I have gotten from countless other planets and universes, I have surely shattered Ixon's record, dang, I feel good, I feel for him though, during his time, this planet hadn't yet been created in this universe as every universe constantly expands, so also more life forms are found and introduced to the Multiversal ecosystem" d**k thinks smiling to himself as he inspects the room seeing the ladies fighting for who gets to suck his cock

"I can give less than a s**t about who sucks my c**k, thanks to the device Aze gave me, I was able to put every inhabitant in this planet in femto mode without obliterating the planet or the universe itself, I have only spent a day here by standard earth time but it feels like I have spent seven centuries here, feels good to be a Alpha-human and have a big ass cock."

"Whoa, ladies" d**k says aloud as all the ladies now stop fighting and look at d**k.

"Why y'all battling on who gets to suck my c**k, I know I am important, special and all but I the original have done you all justice, ain't you satisfied."

"We are but..." the dominant one begins as she slowly massages his genital which caused it to rise immediately

"...we want more Dick."

"Why didn't you say so, there's more than enough d**k for everyone" d**k grins as over 30 billion after image duds of himself appear all over the planet even in the brothel.

"And by d**k, I mean literally and figuratively as my name is d**k and y'all want my dick."

"I do..." The dominant one begins but d**k instantly vanishes from the room, he reappears in another planet still in the same universe, he was dressed in his typical clothes, an inner shirt, a big jacket and long pants.

"Feels good to be clothed, feel like I have been naked forever" d**k grins, he had heard a plea for help in this planet, it was about seventeen light years from the planet where he was currently, he was standing on a side walk, they were cyborgs walking around (half human, half robots).

"That's strange, thought I heard a damsel calling me, the D's ears never lie" d**k thinks as he puts on his ultra version, the facilities and infrastructures in this planet was far more advanced and complex than most planets, with cyborg kids both male and female moving on hover boards all around the city, there were holograms walking everywhere and different flying vehicles which d**k couldn't even identify.

"Can't believe I was once wowed by the Back to tomorrow movie" d**k smiles as he admires the scenery, it was then he spots the possible cause for help, it was a girl, she had a red eye probably due to her robot half but neglecting that, the rest of her looked human, she was currently fleeing from two bulky men who appeared to have more robot parts than human parts.

"Hey, come back here" the taller of the two men shouts at the girl, the girl appeared to be holding a small bag.

"Never" the girl shouts back

"I need this, it's my one chance to visiting the celestial city."

"You crazy kid, that place is a myth, despite our phenomenal technology, we could never compute mathematical formulas or construct mechanical structures that would enable us to determine it's existence, even if it does, a kid like you can bear to comprehend the intricacies and complexities, how old are you, just seventy million" the taller of the men says.

"I will be turning seventy million and one tomorrow, stop undermining my age, and regarding the mathematical formulas and technological infrastructures, I am close" the girl ends with a grin as she runs.

"What's now the difference?" the shorter one mutters.

"Had enough with this irrational display of asininity" the taller of the men chasing her says as he pulls out his weapon and fires at her, the other did as he saw his partner did as they fire at the girl, laser beams appeared to be the ammunition but the girl easily dodged the beams.

"How can any one move that fast?" The shorter of the two says.

"Moving fast isn't the only thing I can do" the girl says as she slides back, a flying vehicle with a banner which says 'WE, THE BEST NUTS' was approaching, switching to her hand watch, the girl inputs some buttons, the vehicle changes it's course as it heads towards the two men and crashes.

"That should stop them" the girl grins but the vehicle flies upward as the two men reappear, they were now in cycutars, it was a vehicle which looked like a transparent wheel but with tons of buttons and a complex technological network.

"Oooh, come on" the girl says aloud as she kicks a kid who was flying on his skateboard, she leaps on the skateboard as she moves as fast as she could, the two men follow her in hot pursuit as they repeatedly fire but she dodges easily, unfortunately the shots don't disperse away as they crash against buildings and other vehicles destroying them.

"Time to get serious" the taller of the two men says as he pushes a red button, about ten missiles fly out from his vehicle towards the girl.

"f*****g come on, I just took a bag of third rate chips, no one even wants them" the girl mourns aloud.

"But you didn't pay for them" the shorter of the men says.

"What's the essence, no one was gonna purchase it, I just did the store a favor by helping them to get rid of that eyesore" she replies as she dodges to the left, as the missiles pass by

"Thank God, I was able to avert it" she thinks but as if the missiles could read her mind, they turn towards her direction.

"It's locked on, what the f**k?" She frowns

"Time to do it the old fashioned way" she smiles as she dashes in the opposite directions, the missiles following her steadily.

"What's that crazy kid doing, she's heading towards us" the taller one says.

"I have calculated the reaction time of your missiles and trust me, they are surely going to hit with your cycutars" she grins.

"You irrational child" the shorter one says as he fires a series of laser beams at her but the girl easily avoids them causing them to collide with most of the missiles and causing an explosion which the aftermath causes her to jump away from the board, she spots another flying vehicle, she leaps unto it as the explosion exponentially increases destroying the surrounding buildings and vehicles, she keeps leaping from one vehicle to another desperately trying to avoid the explosion.

"Let's finish this" she grins as she brings out a strangely designed pistol from her pocket and leaps away from the current vehicle she was, she must have done that in the nick of time as the explosion immediately catches up with the vehicle, while in the midair, she looks over at the two cycutars, inputting some commands as fast as she could with her left arm, she locks on to them as she fires.

"I got you now" she smiles but as the beams from her weapon approach the two vehicles, when it got to a centimeter range of the vehicles, deflector shields suddenly pop up and bounce back her beams back at her direction

"I don't got this" she mutters as the beams collide with her and sends her flying, hitting the ground vehemently.

The two cycutars pull up to her location and as they arrive, the two men step out.

"You shall be going to python jail, it's obvious you were modelled from the python programming language, there appear to be some errors in your configuration, we shall get rid of that and make you fit for the network as a standard cyborg" the taller one says.

"Why do there have to be standards, that's why I got kicked out of the place I lived before, why can't I just live my life how I want" she mutters as she gets to her feet, there appeared to be various cuts and bruises on her body.

"Oi oi, come on, that's no way to treat a tarnishing young lady" comes d**k's voice as he appears in their middle.

"You do not appear to have a cybernetic part, you must be of the human species, how can you survive in this environment, there's no form of oxygen anywhere" the shorter of the man says in d**k's direction.

"C.mon, you cyborgs, can't the tin can of metal y'all call a brains figure it out, I am an Alpha-human, protector of the multiverse and guardian of the weak, I saved the multiverse from Larry, Aze and shady virgin" d**k ends with a grin. There was an awkward silence as the two male cyborgs stare at d**k like a deranged chatter box.

"Are all humans now like you?" the taller one asks after a few minutes.

"Na, I am like the ultimate human, I make gods cream their f*****g panties literally like I f****d the female goddesses" d**k grins.

"So you have achieved the ultimatum for stupidity, idiocy and irrationality" the shorter one continues.

"No, not like that, come on, y'all know me, been to lots of universes and planets, I am f*****g sensational, man, how can't y'all know me" d**k frowns.

"We do not keep records of insignificant, inconsequential and infinitesimal species" the taller one says.

"I will show you infinitesimal, tin can" d**k frowns.

"By doing what, dancing or blabbing out more stupidity" the shorter one smirks.

"By doing this to you too" d**k grins as he was now holding the partner's head, he was spinning it, this caused everyone in the street attention to be focused on him, they appeared impressed except the girl which he came to save.

"That's impossible, the average software enforcer of MTK hub can move at Lich 7 and enforcer TK-69 has moved at Lich 8 severally in the past" the shorter one says his mouth wide opened.

Lich is a term for five hundred thousand times the speed of light.

And Hub was the term in that planet for city.

"Really" d**k asks puzzled

"I didn't even use Femto-mode but what can I say, I am the D."

"But we are still not aware of your identity" came the shorter one's voice

"But we can attest to your overwhelming power."

"Lemme teach your ladies some tradition and you would know more than just overwhelming power..." d**k grins.

"What he's trying to say is that he would be taking his leave now, he's my guardian" the girl says aloud

"Regarding the chips I took, these are the payments" the girl ends by extending a bottle of black oil to the shorter officer.

"Wow, you are a mouthy one, ain't ya" d**k grins at her.

"Don't even think of hitting on me, I am older than all your ancestors combined" the girl frowns in his direction.

"That sort of hurts, seeing that I don't really have a biological family" d**k says mournfully.

"That's what I was trying to get at, we need to talk, I need you to do something for me" the girl continues with a sharp tone.

"How about the nigga, I got his head" d**k says spinning the machinery with his pink finger.

"Are you really this dense, he's a f*****g enforcer, they always have backups to restore them should any physical harm come to their body parts" the girl replies.

"Jeez, don't be so feisty, girl, just cause I f****d your mama doesn't make me your papa" d**k grins at her.

"Still the same insensitive and horny kid, I thought I could give you a chance to redeem yourself but clearly I am gonna have to take some extreme measures."

"Does the extreme measures mean sensational pleasures for my D and do I know you?" d**k asks.

"You will find out soon enough" She says as she vanishes.

"That's weird, even for me" d**k had a shocked expression on his face.

"Dad!?" came a feminine popular voice behind him.

Dick turns around, standing before him was his daughter, Emily, nearly 5'7, she was beautiful as ever as her radiant light skin glowed, her black hair was all spread down, she was dressed in a dress patterned with different colours of roses, he had gotten it for her for her sixteenth birthday. Her face was teary as tears could be spotted escaping from her eyes, she was really happy to see him.

"Oooh s**t, guess these marks the end for getting different p*****s" d**k frowns as he now stares at his daughter but as he turned towards her, she runs towards him hugging deeply as tears flowed freely from her eyes

"I missed you so much."