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The bed room I was placed in was absolutely stunning. I finished my bath in a beautiful clawfoot tub, And put on some pjs. The lady From before that I had followed here was sitting on the bed. My room that I would soon spend 20 years in was big! There was a lovely fireplace and a beautiful bed. It had a red and black comforter to match the walls. There was a huge tv above the fireplace and right next to it was a door to the walk in closet. On the other side of the room across from the tv and fireplace was the balcony that looked over the garden, And on the other side of the bed was the entrance to the bathroom. The mysterious lady starts to speak and I jumped back forgetting she was even here. “Um… uh. Ma’am?” I stutter. She gestures to the bed to have me sit down. So I do.``where’s my mom where. Is my sister?” Anger confusion trying to claw its way out but my mouth refuses to utter words of disobedience to this lady. Why does she have this effect on me? I stare at her in a trance. “I…um” I lose my thoughts and forget for a second what we were talking about. She looks at me…
“Your mother has been informed of where you are and what you did. She says it is best if you are here.” She takes a long pause before continuing. “And your sister is… gone. She has passed away we found her but we can’t give you all the information at the moment because you are young.” She looks down. I gasp tears forming and I clench my heart. It hurts so bad. My heart is ripping apart. It's so painful. I fall to my knees.I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe! My breathing gets faster but I can't breathe why? Why me?how? Was I not fast enough? Did I fail her? Did I fail mom? How? She didn’t deserve this! I wish it was me! Why can’t it just be me? I want her back. I want her alive and smiling! It’s my fault she just wanted to go inside. She just wanted to get food. I zone out in my rapid thoughts flooding through my mind. I’m so weak and I go limp from hyperventilating. She will never have another homemade meal. She will never get to be hugged… she will never be able to look at me with those beautiful eyes and say I love you. I Will Never Get To Say. I. Love. You. The realization hits. I just want her to be angry to hit me, yell at me, cry, heck beat me. Anything to have her back.
The room has been a blur the entire time that I didn’t realize that the lady has brought men into the room and they are checking my pulse and heart and they are also shaking me calling my name. But I can't speak and I can't move. Why body? why? I just want to move. I want to run.I’m so angry! But yet I feel nothing. I feel numb. I’m not even sure I’m real anymore I’m not sure I’m alive. I try to look at my hands. But whose hands are they? They feel rubber, they feel plastic. I look at my legs, anger intensely rising. Move! The men pick me up, however I am too numb to react. They put me in a chair. It's uncomfortable. They put a device on my head. But the only thing I’m thinking about is how dirty my hands feel. No matter how much I wash them I could peel my flesh off and it would still feel dirty. Why won’t the blood come off? I start picking at my nails and skin. One of the guys says something but I can't understand. Then they leave the room. I look at my feet and stomach and see that they are strapped to the chair. I hear a beep. Then ZAP! I start to shake. Stop please stop. ZAP! I just become more and more broken after every zap. They kept coming for about 30 minutes but to me it felt like months. They finally stop and the men come back into the room. I look at them but now I really can’t feel anything. If I thought I was numb before I’m practically nothing. There is nothing. I’m a shell. I have no future and the past is too painful to relive even the happy parts. The men talk to themselves while looking at me. Saying how dead I look and robot like I am. All that is left is a strong hunger of the world to just burn.
- Writer
