Uprise of the Rebellious Princess

Someone Saw Her For What She Was

She noticed him affected by her sadness. He was the only one who noticed her downheartedness. It was as if he wanted to help but remained still with mesmerized eyes. Both remained in front of each other separated by a couple of paces.

She wet her dry, cracked lips and tried – unsuccessfully – to pass her hair behind her ear. A playful smirk escaped from him, which she returned with a wider smile. His hand tried to seek her but repented. There were no fancy salutations but a more unique kind of unspoken greeting. Something kindled at the moment both their eyes intersected –sparking something new, something unknown. She never encountered such feelings towards someone, for no one has ever seen her with those eyes. It was undeniable the up-front honesty his eyes showed towards her. The spark was there, but what was to be done with it?

“Who is he?” asked the baffled Lady to herself. “No one I know -probably someone I would’ve never known.”

Being a Cihuatecutli made her well acquainted with everyone amongst the interlacing pipiltin circles. A genealogical web that interconnected almost all royal houses in the Greater Valley, and beyond. A labyrinth of information indeed, the cause of strong headaches for many, but the base of existence for those in power. Knowing everyone in power made Atotoztli discern that he was not a pipiltin. He was a young man that simply crossed her path.

“A man I should've not met?” thought to herself.

Atotoztli gave the first step forward and a sensation of adventure filled her every part of her body. It was not an entirely new sensation, the feeling was reminiscent of her childhood when she used to venture into far-away imaginary realms. But probably that feeling was more associated with mischievous pranks of years past –a thundering feeling that goes through our veins when we are about to perform a roguish deed. But the Lady never felt the sensation as chaotic and uncontrolled as she was now experiencing. He did not move as she got near him, but she could hear his excited breathing. Her newly felt mood heightened as her eyes gazed at his nude robust chest that expanded and diminished. When she then deepened her piercing sight into his manly eyes, her mind drowned her into wild and irrational emotions. Attraction has no sound or astute logic, no one. Sudden love boosts a delirious rationale and frantic explosions of sentiments. Was it his gaze that made her feel unique? Was it his virile aspect so new to her eyes? These feelings she felt. These thoughts she enjoyed. Atotoztli liked how those feelings evolved inside her heart. She did not know what love was, and thus was still unsure of what to name it. So she just asked for the name.

“Who are you?” Atotoztli asked. She briefly showed an anxious smile. She did not know how to act with such nervousness.

“I was –well I am –I saw you were… disheartened.” He cleared his voice and garnered confidence, “My name is Yacanex. And I saw you –you know…” answered an enthralled Yacanex.

She realized maybe he was in shock because he did not know that pretty girls do cry as well. “Here I am, a Cihuatecutli born and grown. I’m instructed on all tasks that life and duty may require of me. And yet, I do not even know how to proceed with him,” she thought in complete embarrassment. And still, Atotoztli was impressed that someone noticed her. She has lived joyful moments or blue days, and still people treated her as part of the altepetl government, not as a person. Now, someone saw her for what she was. Her left hand caressed her left temple, as her right hand held her left elbow. Four hundred thoughts poured into her mind. A faint but quite sensual smirk drew her face.

“You saw me?” she asked with playful curiosity. “Where?”

“Perhaps I have seen you in my dreams or amongst the shrines! But no, you’re neither a dream nor a statue, and that confused me. For I saw you walking here and there in the Great Hall,” said Yacanex desperately.

“Here and there,” giggled Atotoztli.

“Yes. But please, tell me! Why are you here? A fugitive from the heavens perhaps? A phantom of some sort?”

“Well, I’m here because I live here,” she answered as-a-matter-of-factly, engaging in a jovial dalliance. She opened her arms showing the Great Hall. “Do you like what I have done to the place?”

They both laughed. Then he immediately fell silent with an earnest face. She could see his eyes rapidly moving as if he was thinking. Discernibly embarrassed, he made a proper bow to her.

“No! No!” she stopped him with her hands. One handheld him from his left shoulder, the other accidentally ended below his right ear. Both stood idle. He stared at her hand in awesome delight. Blushing, Atotoztli smiled and said: “Please, don’t bow to me. Not you.”

He stood up again.

“So Yacanex, hunter of living statues and wandering dreams, tell me,” playfully said Atotoztli “Any luck so far?”

Yacanex just laughed but did not answer.

“Tell me, seeker of phantoms. Any luck with feminine ghostly apparitions?”

He chuckled and nodded decisively.

“Oh really?” Atotoztli faked amazement.

Yacanex laughed again but then with piercing eyes he uttered with grave semblance, “You have no idea!”

As he kept ardently staring at her, she remained silent, biting her lower lip. She took her left hand to her temple again and turned away for a moment feeling a little embarrassed. She swiftly turned back and there he was still looking at her as if waiting for her comeback answer. “Yes, I have no idea. I’ve never stumbled upon an otherworldly being. Sorry to disappoint you,” she giggled.

“No, no you haven’t,” he said as he turned, twisting his body looking for something in his rabbit pouch. “Would you like to see one?” Atotoztli smiled wide open as she observed his movements. She tried to peek with great interest. Yacanex turned back and asked one more time: “Do you want to see one?

The Lady giggled, as she looked at both his clamped hands. She stared but could not guess what he was hiding. “All right, show me! Show me this find of yours!” she said quite similar to a child who is about to be surprised.

He rapidly opened his hands and put a small mirror in front of her. A pitch-black obsidian mirror, perfectly round, and extremely polished on its flattened dark surface with master craftsmanship. And on the surface of that mirror Atotoztli saw herself. A delightful compliment for the Lady of Colhuacan! She stared at her own image impressed by the beautiful trick he played on her. It was indeed a thoughtful way of flirting with her –this meant so much to her. The grandest of lavishness make way for the little details.

“Here is my find, the only otherworldly being I have ever stumbled upon in my life. Behold!” said Yacanex with soft words full of emotive weight as Atotoztli kept tenderly staring at her own reflection. “A creature from the upper heavens on which our eyes can witness the magnificence of her sublime appearance, surrendered to her glory. She’s a phantom as well, for she swiftly disappears whenever I’m about to get near her. See for yourself the treasure I discovered. Treasures bedazzle the eyes since they are exquisite for our worldly sight. Nonetheless, feelings outweigh what our eyes gaze. Feelings are not meant to be seen but to be felt in our own hearts. I can show you with a mirror what I saw in you, although nothing can express what my heart feels for you –save for my humble words.”

Atotoztli sensed his fiery passion in every word, in every stressed syllable. His feelings were overtly expressed. She rejoiced with such flowery compliments and not the usual raunchy remarks she has received since she has become a grown woman. His heartfelt words made her feel a female indeed. As pretty as women are, they should be reminded of it, just as we go about complimenting colorful flowers when gazed upon. She felt revitalized once again. And as she stared at her image, blackened by the darkness of the obsidian mirror, she knew her dreams were not useless. She did not see her reflection as worthy admiration, but the person holding her reflection. Such a joy to see people care as we do for others. She peeked to look at him with a profound gratitude semblance as she was reminded that goodness still existed.

“You have brought relief, not to the Cihuatecutli of Colhuacan but to a woman lost in her life.”

Yacanex passionately stared back at her, slowly lowering his mirror. Linked together, they both remained for a while gazing at each other’s eyes trying to unravel their hidden thoughts. The unstoppable river of time ceased to flow for her. It seemed nothing else surrounded the two of them when in fact it was the contrary. Neither the swarming crowd nor the buzzing chatter bothered them. All the noise of the world muted so that those two misfit hearts could only hear each other. Atotoztli sense that Yacanex was about to tell her something that may be of significance, mainly because he leaned towards her with a sudden surge of vivacity in his eyes. As she braced herself for whatever he was about to say with attentive curiosity, her sister brusquely barged in between the two of them.

“Here you are! Everyone has been asking for you, especially Father. Come! You must join us,” said Ilancueitl. Atotoztli felt her sister inquisitively gazed at him with a frown, brushing him up and down with confused eyes. Ilancueitl took Atotoztli from the arm and both whisked off. “What were you doing, sister? Why were you there? With him? What happened?” asked Ilancueitl.

Atotoztli kept looking back as she was pulled by her sister away from him. She wanted to stay with Yacanex, she enjoyed being with him. Since she had never met anyone like that young man, the Lady wanted more of him, her heart felt unfulfilled. The impatient Cihuatecutli abruptly stopped, halting Ilancueitl’s pace as well.

“You know –I wish I could –” whispered Atotoztli with her eyes posed at Yacanex, who at the same time kept staring at her in contemplation as well.

“No! No, Atotoztli!” interrupted Ilancueitl, “Sister, understand that Father is asking for you.”

“I must stay, I want to remain here,” Atotoztli bluntly insisted.

“With whom?” asked Ilancueitl. No response came from Atotoztli lips as her eyes gazed back at her younger sister. Ilancueitl’s teenage nostrils and eyebrows could not hide her discomfort, neither could her tightened lips. As her eyes went back at Yacanex, her sister softly whispered with a scowl, “You shouldn’t be a Cihuatecutli!”

Atotoztli swiftly turned towards her sister, troubled by such aggression. Her frantic eyes could only see her sister’s stoic defiant semblance, seemingly well-hidden for years – or probably a lifetime. Atotoztli has never seen in her sister such emergent hatred. She could feel the menacing heat radiating out of Ilancueitl’s eyes, a pyre kindled long ago but recently flared with intensity. Such flames within a person can only blaze out of control or lessen to a petty spark, but never do they die. She knew Ilancueitl had hatred already affixed but could not understand why. Both remained in eerie silence. Then Atotoztli just shook her head as she stepped one pace away from Ilancueitl.

“You think you can get away with everything because you are –the –Lady of Colhuacan?” said Ilancueitl in an oddly calm manner but stressing each word with the burden of malignant hatred. “Can’t you even understand it? A Cihuatecutli should never get all that she wants. But you think you can gather it all for you.” As Atotoztli kept backing away, Ilancueitl followed her step by step. “Oh yes! You have your wit, your looks, your little act of befriending our servants, your desperate enticings of your body, your whacky dreams, our father’s love, our High Ruler’s love –and still not entirely happy with such four hundred virtues, you still have to go beyond and fetch the man you desire?”

Atotoztli retained her tears inside her eyes as much as she could. She did not want to show her sister any sign of being hurt. None of the offenses mattered quite profound to Atotoztli as the fact of having her sister maliciously insulting her without any grounds. After all, such affronts were mere slander -- but her sister’s emotions were real, affecting her the most. She supposed a lie will never pass of being a libelous lie, but a resentful person who is convinced of such lies may become an ominous enemy. An enemy without sound bases, yes –but once wrath takes over, madness confines logic into the distant realm of the past. She made great efforts to wink as much as she could to avoid tears to drop down, but her lips pouted uncontrollably. Her sister’s feelings erupted to the outside as any of the countless volcanoes in the Great Valley has done so. And just as a volcano bursts outward destroying valleys and leveling cities only to end its day as an inert mountain, Atotoztli feared her sister could cause great havoc in her life for nothing. So, she inhaled air so deeply that her chest swelled, and her breasts once again stood proudly.

“If you wish for me to not be a Cihuatecutli any longer, so be it,” said Atotoztli a bit agitated with an undertone of anger in her reply.

“What then? You’d rather rule the topmost heavens to do as you please?” Ilancueitl defiantly answered back with menacing thundering eyes and high-up chin.

A challenging Atotoztli approached discourteously towards her sister. No longer holding her tears and with quivering lips she responded, “The upper heavens? Sister, in this world, let me be at least a woman –full and complete!”

As much as she wished to blast her with insulting replies, she could not. Her serene nature halted her actions. As tears kept sliding over her warm cheekbones, she walked away arms-crossed. Atotoztli hastened her pace across the Great Hall towards the exit. A loud shout was heard. It was his father, the Tlatoani, calling her name. She turned to him, stopping just before stepping outside. The Lady was full of anger, the kind which surfaces when provoked upon. Her gaze was fixed on her father’s bewildered eyes at a moment when she rather have her mother’s eyes. Her maternal absence made Atotoztli resolute to fearlessly leave the gathering. With her mother long gone and with no one to understand her frustrations, she turned and briskly walked outside.

Her hair was glued by her tears onto the warmth of her skin. With decisive pace, she crossed the threshold of numerous sturdy columns that was part of the Palace main entrance facing the city’s Main Square. The palace guards who stood at the main entrance turned towards the hurried Cihuatecutli, and then straightened up quite swiftly once they identified her, firmly grabbing their weapons. She certainly was in no mood for protocols, so she walked down the stairs uninterrupted, descending to street level. But once she was in the middle of the paved white street, she realized it was nighttime, or at least the beginning of it. People still lingered at the city’s plaza, and the last vendors of the day seemed to be wrapping their products. Her eyes surveyed the darkened city only dimly lit by ocotl lights. Atotoztli had no clue of what to do next.

“Some rebellious plan! Poor me, huh? I want to do great things in this world, and I can’t even figure out what to do after my first altercation,” Atotoztli thought.

Anything would be best than to remain with her family or within the Palace walls. She wished to leave her body and become someone else to live a different life. More tears went forth. She panted when she pondered how her own life was useless. Countless dreams for her future swirled her tormented mind. Suddenly she heard the thump guards make when presenting arms. Someone followed her! She turned towards the Palace, still remaining in the middle of the street. And there he was, standing at the main entrance. Any other person would have invigorated the newly found rage, resulting in cataclysmic havoc to her own sanity. Thankfully such calamitous explosion never happened, for it has him –Yacanex –carrying an honestly worrisome semblance. Her self-destructiveness eased as his startling presence made her recall the short but warm time she spent with him.

A fine drizzle began to pour in. Atotoztli faced upwards as the light rain intensified. The small droplets refreshed her warm cheeks and swollen eyes, moisturizing all of her clothing. A peaceful mood refreshed her body. She then heard Yacanex stepping down towards her. She could see him approaching through the waves of transparent water veils. Passing veil after veil of drizzle, Atotoztli saw him fastening his pace towards her. He stopped in front of her with strong, intense eyes, showing an ardent desire to know about her well-being. His jittery eyes covered every minute corner of her face. She felt her vexing afflictions slipping away, not by the rain but by his presence. Yacanex stood there wet, panting, and expelling an agitated vapor. Atotoztli needed someone just like him at that moment. Her slim long feminine fingers reached out to him, his two manly warm hands wholeheartedly surrounded them. She felt comfort even when she hasn’t said anything about her troubles. The sensation was very similar to the one she had earlier in the Great Hall, so she figured there might be some sort of link between them. Whatever bond there was, she was glad it existed. She could see in his eyes the same imprinted feeling as well.

As the ample square and adjacent streets were deserted, only Atotoztli and Yacanex remained. She knew they had to go out of there –anywhere but there.

“Will you come with me?” she asked him with a doleful voice that reflected her most anguished moment ever.

“Yes, I’ll go with you,” he firmly said.

“Will you be with me?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll be with you,” he said. “But where shall we go? If you want to return back to the palace –”

“No!” Atotoztli sternly interrupted, “Anywhere but there!” She stared to the Palace with such an intense emotion that could be confused with repugnance towards her family. Actually, what she truly felt was a rebellious boldness, born out of a quarrel as in any family feud. And even if there may be no distinction between hatred or defiance, for the rebel heart there is none. And so as an act of disobedience –and in her case insubordination –the saddened Cihuatecutli held Yacanex’s hand and led him away to a different place.

“Where are we going?”

Atotoztli stopped and said, “Have you visited Colhuacan before?”

“No.”

“Then come with me.”

And so, she continued taking him out of the huge square. They saw a tlamacazqui augment the fire bundles of the Great Temple as customary every night. It illuminated the city’s downtown. Atotoztli wished to continue unseen in the darkness, so instead of strolling she pulled him in a different direction. They crossed several city blocks as they reached a lonely part of downtown.

“It is a place within the city that could very well be a small forest. I love coming here and wander under the pines trees or rejoice at the colorful flowers. I find comfort in the muted beauty of nature. Silence makes my mind more real. This is the only place I can be by myself.”

“But you’re not alone now,” said Yacanex. “Are you sure you want me to be here with you? The least I wish is to upset you.”

Cihuatecutli Atotoztli turned to him and walked backward with inviting eyes. “This time I do not want to be alone. Not tonight.”