Uprise of the Rebellious Princess

From Dreams We Live Part 1

His anguished mood was relieved by the anticipation of seeing her beloved for a third time. Before the rebirth of the sun, he embarked from Atenco to be early at Colhuacan and meet Atotoztli in matters of utmost urgency. He remained standing during most of the journey across the Great Lake, but he seated as soon as he saw the Hill of the Star. Behind that hill was the smaller hill of Colhuacan, where the city of his beloved sprawled. He hastily double-checked his provisions in his rabbit pouch, putting aside his itacatl bundle that contained his travel food. Then he took out the map. His stomach ached as a blast of anger bolted through his limbs. What did the map contain for the future of his people? He wanted to unravel such a conundrum, but no one else could safely reveal the information than Atotoztli. He knew there were other people that could read or at least have a general understanding of the written words that emanate from Tenayuca. Oh, but he preferred her! Any motive is good enough to visit Atotoztli. Of course, she was the ideal choice. Given her position she knew to perfection the art of writing, reading, and politics. Oh, wonderful pretext!

The boat turned around the peninsula, and the city of Colhuacan became visible. He stared for a moment, then immediately put his belongings back in order with great celerity. The sun was well alive by the time the boat he was in was closed to Colhuacan. The morning was burning with soft colors. As the boat prepared its approach to the docks, he immediately gazed at the Palace. It was in the middle of the city, next to the High Temple from where drumming and sacred fumes emanated. There, he saw a white figure on a balcony to the far left side of the palace's front façade. Who was that person? He did not know for certain, but he would bet it was his fair lady. Knowing her ways, she was the only one that he imagined would be daydreaming from her balcony.

The boat slowed its momentum, and with a tall pole that touched the lakebed the boatman steered into the precise direction. Yacanex noticed how many lake men were starting their day to fish or sell goods abroad. Many boats were passing them, some went into the Great Lake, others carried bundles of goods along the coast. His vessel was the only one arriving at Colhuacan, navigating contrary to the others. As his boat approached the shouting distance, two men were signaling them where to dock.

"Enter this lane!" one of them shouted, "It is reserved for outsiders visiting our city!"

The boatman nodded as he eyed where the boat was about to enter. Sturdy wooden poles came out of the waters, and they were arranged to create long lanes paralleled to each other. Although the poles were separated from each other, they still made lane formations. The boatman slowed speed with both hands gripped firmly onto the long pole. As they navigated inside the lane, the boatman went running from the stern carrying his pole. As he reached the bow, the agile man hastily leaned forward while supporting his pole to the bottom of the lake. The boat slowly stopped, and a minor bump ended Yacanex lake journey.

Yacanex carried his belongings and walked just behind his boatman. They jumped into the boat in front of them. A boy was watching over her two sisters, both resting on their boat seats. They saluted them as they cross their boat. They jumped into the boat in front of that one. It was empty. They crossed it and jumped into the next boat in front. An elderly couple was gathering numerous small baskets as their son returned to collect more. Yacanex and his boatman saluted as they zig-zagged through the merchandise at their boat, and they jumped into the following boat. An empty boat, but half-full with cotton clothing. They then jumped into the boat in front of that one. A weeping young lady was crying, as two women were giving solace to her. This impressed Yacanex, for her tears were of abundant desolation. They saluted and crossed their boat. As they jumped into the next boat, the boatman turned to Yacanex and said:

"A widow, perhaps."

Yacanex turned towards the lady and noticed her sentiment of loss surely for her man, but also of losing herself off of reality. She turned towards him but without actually looking at him. It was a gaze that was no longer focused on this world, but elsewhere within her thoughts. Yacanex continued to catch up with his boatman. A drunkard was attempting to look out of his boat towards the city while talking nonsense. They still saluted, because a salutation never hurts anybody, and jumped into the next boat.

"Walk swiftly, brother!" said the boatman, "For they will pick him up soon!"

In the final boat was a wise man, seating while contemplating the outgoing traffic of boats. Their salutations were starkly interrupted by him saying: "Do you love her?"

"Excuse me?" said the boatman.

"Not you, brother," said the old wise man, bearing a strong accent from the other side of the volcanoes, "but the eager young man following your steps."

"How do you –"

"We all know" said the smiling wise man, "at least all of us that know love, and more recently those who do not."

The boatman was puzzled, but Yacanex was calm about it.

"Are you wise enough to see things to come?" Yacanex asked very intrigued.

"Of mementos that were, things that are, and paths that will come," said the wise man, "for only fools will not reckon many paths exist in days ahead of people."

"Could you –" barely asked Yacanex as the wise man interrupted him.

"I can advise you on this," said the wise man as he leaned towards him with a serious semblance. "Never follow others footsteps. Not even mine. Is it the paths of others you want to lay for your future? Rubbish! Only your way is the best way. And for this you shall suffer, and undoubtedly many will suffer too because it is easier to travel a road than to make one. The path that you will create will be starkly different, that many will hate you. And still as a flame will perish in the snow, one morning will bring life. And now go! Go in haste! She has been waiting at that balcony yearning for you amid her wretchedness."

Yacanex was really surprised at what he said. He stood there in awe. The wise man started chuckling in an ominous manner. But the boatman shook his head and pulled him away.

"Strangers! Make way for the soldiers of Colhuacan!" cried the old wise man with laughs.

Yacanex turned at him surprised at such riddle, but the boatman urged him to not mind that man. As they walked out of the boat into the dock grounds, Yacanex wondered what that last enigmatic phrase signified. He knew he was right about him being there for her beloved, and even mentioned the balcony he just saw. How would he know such things? As they walked, two soldiers asked about their point of origin in an uninterested and routinely fashion.

"Two from the port of Atenco," answered the boatman likewise.

And as they were about to leave the dock grounds, great movement and racket approached him. All he could see was a thick pack of people approaching them with utmost haste. Yacanex could not decide if to quickly step into the city or to just step aside. Menacingly approaching he clearly heard them say, "Strangers! Make way for the soldiers of Colhuacan!"

He stepped aside, and the city soldiers passed him going into the boats. And just as they swiftly passed, they immediately emerged from the boats with the drunkard.

"For the crime of drunkenness and idleness, and as established by the law of Colhuacan, this man is to be taken prisoner and publicly executed as the decrees of the land prescribe," said the high-ranking soldier who was amongst them, with harsh but steady voice.

One soldier grabbed the drunken man from his long hair, and two others hurried him from behind. The surprise of Yacanex was not the detention, but the words said by the wise man. He was petrified by the exactitude of the wording. He realized his other words stood truthfully. His heart yearned for an explanation, but there was none. And for this, Yacanex sunk into sadness at the idea of tribulations to come to his life path. And as he walked uphill towards the city's main square, the Palace appeared tall and monolithic. It stood portentously as his thoughts wandered on the heavy trials that probably await him if the words of the old man are truthful. He reached the city's Main Square, but a gloom took hold of his thoughts. Yacanex could not figure if such knowledge of things yet to pass were a heads-up blessing or a futile condemnation. But now he knew. If it was a wretched omen, at least he knew. Maybe it was meant to find any chance of changing its course.

"At least I am privileged to muster hope before my foretold downfall," murmured Yacanex. "I am grateful not for my ruin to come, but the prospect of avoiding it."

Suddenly he heard someone running towards him with much hurriedness. As he turned to see, Yacanex saw Atotoztli sprinting at his direction. She ran as fast as she could, with her hair waving high and proud as flags up in the Palace did. Her speed made her white dress wrap her feminine figure with such exquisiteness that Yacanex envied the air that caressed her curvy body. She smiled dearly, but with no intention of slowing down. Yacanex opened his arms with overwhelming joy. And so she ran faster. The newborn Sun shot a solar arrow upon her. Her skin shone copper hues with a shimmering golden brightness. The cloud serpents deviated the solar arrow, following her until she threw herself into his arms. He held her with much strength, or both would have ended down on the ground. He embraced her, as she cuddled with both her arms inside. His chest felt the loving pressure of Atotoztli, and so he tightened his embrace having both their bodies tightly squeezed. And as he was in loving rapture, she turned up at him. He smiled.

She giggled and said, "What makes you happy?"

"Your lips, of course."

"Not me?" joked Atotoztli.

"Oh, your lips, they are so inviting," said Yacanex, "Their color reminds me of those exotic fruits, cranberries, rarely brought from the remote northern lands."

She laughed for a moment, then his eyes were pierced by her own with an amorously rascal gaze. He held her in his arms for a while. As simple a loving moment can be, for lovers it sure is much-needed nourishment for the fire within. The essence of all people is the flame of life, and everyone is driven by its warm breeze. Yacanex felt his inner warmth rekindled by embracing her loving lady. Love arouses our inner fire, but its deprivation sways away its humanity. With love, greatness sprouts. Without love, monsters spawn. That is why Yacanex felt revitalized every time he had the chance to see and feel Atotoztli. After all, he was a man of passions, one that needs to caress and grasp with his own hands.

"Did you know I used have a hard heart and bore a face of stone?" asked Yacanex. Atotoztli laughed dearly, but he continued, "Quite certainly, I saw life with pessimistic eyes and faced people with preconceived grouchy notions."

"That is not the man I met.”

"And you won't."

"Perhaps I don’t know you thoroughly," wondered Atotoztli.

"You do know me," he said. "This is me. I don't know if I have changed, or I just buried my past, but you brought the best of me. Yet I fear shame makes me not show you my inner enemy."

"I feel embarrassed as well if you ever have knowledge of my life inside the Palace," said Atotoztli with a sad tone.

"I understand."

"There are wretched things in my life I wouldn't want to involve you," she said, "and I fear this foulness might push you away from me."

"I can’t imagine you with such darkness."

She turned to see if there was anyone nearby. He turned as well as an instant mimic, not sure of whom they were watchful. Her big almond eyes turned at him, and then her soft hand grabbed his him as she walked.

"Come!" Atotoztli said as she kept watching over her shoulder.

They walked out of the city's principal square.

"Where are we going?" He was intrigued but kept up with her fast pace. They immersed themselves into the streets, out of sight of the main square. She led him uphill at a steep street. As they reached the top of what appeared to be one of the many small hills Colhuacan had, he could see a small pond.

"I didn't know this part of this city," said Yacanex surprised.

"You wouldn’t," replied Atotoztli, "this is a place where local people tend to gather in leisure."

As they walked down the street that led directly to the pond, he noticed that indeed locals visited that area of the city. But they were not the type of Colhua people he was used to, but rather simpler. No vanity was showing off, for they visited the pond with pure intentions of relaxation.

"A place where they can be as they wish," said Yacanex.

"Yes! Isn't it a wonderful idea to be able to feather off narcissism at least for a moment? Even if you have to return afterward to keep appearances, wear elegant headdresses, and hoist a forced-upon pride," said Atotoztli.

He noticed a certain sadness in her tone as the street ended and the pond grounds began.

"That is why birds rest concealed from others," she continued, "You may see birds gracefully showing their beauty and elegance everywhere they go. If you think of it, we wear feathered garments to imitate their exquisite refinement. But even the most applauded birds seek a time for themselves, having their refuge out of our sight. Why should my life be exposed to an undesirable scrutiny? If only I could be truly free as singing birds; having one part of my life for all to see and the other part veiled for my own endeavors."

Birds swooshed around them and landed on a nearby branch with much gaiety. Chirping to each other, they flew off as fast as they appeared. Children were frolicking dearly at the gardens around the pond. Some were running. Others picked up small twigs or small crawling critters. Couples strolled at the long garden trails while others held hands at the pond side. Some were giggling, others remained just serene. Yacanex turned around and saw more couples. He glanced at his back, and more couples were behind them approaching the pond gardens. Even when it was a family atmosphere, he was surprised to see how young couples gathered at that part of the city. As they slowly walked around the pond, he turned and saw Atotoztli with joyful eyes of self-realization. Her beautiful face showed an exhilarated accomplishment of the sorts of long-awaited aspiration. Sentiments surfaced through her girly smile, her sparkling gaze, and with a pride exerted by her hips and shoulders at each step she took. It was now clear to him that this was something she longed for much time, perhaps always.

No word was spoken, they slowly went sightseeing the trees and tall pines around the pond. Yacanex let Atotoztli lead wherever she wished. The bliss of being with one's love is to let go of one’s life. And so Yacanex did whatever she wanted to do during that day. He had much respect for Atotoztli and loved to be guided by her. He was not sure if it was her high position that influenced him. After all, she was the eldest daughter of the Tlatoani of Colhuacan. Or perhaps it was her dazzling physical beauty that made his biased manly eyes revere her. But unquestionably Yacanex had her in the highest esteem because of her acute mind, her progressive ideas, the tenderness in her actions, and the resolve in her decisions. All of it composed what her inner warmth was made of. He felt Atotoztli was a mature woman in full, trapped in the life and body of a youthful lady, and he considered this to be most appealing to him. Yacanex ultimately reckoned her wise maturity was probably why he admired her so much, for it quenched his thirst for petty passions incited by rage bursts and sour bitterness. As they walked through the patches of flowers around the pond, he realized his life was more colorful now. Yacanex turned to her, stopping her slow walk and grabbing both her hands.

"I love you," he said, as he played with her hands.

Atotoztli smiled gladly and said, "I love you too."

"I am serious. Probably more than ever I am certain that my love is truthful, that it does exist, and thus has grown its roots deep into my heart."

"Roots are the essence of existence," said Atotoztli, as she caressed his hands.

"So it is said by poets" meditated Yacanex.

"And so it is said by gardeners," said Atotoztli with utmost solemnity. But she could not hold anymore and burst into out loud laughter. Both laughed dearly.

"I truly am serious," Yacanex chuckled.

"I am serious too," said Atotoztli, "if not, ask any gardener."

"I am honestly in love with you Atotoztli of Colhuacan."

Both remained silent for a moment, gazing into each other's eyes.

"I know," said Atotoztli.

"I fear this love I have for you is too big to keep hiding or even too big for me. I am starting to have problems with my friends because of this love towards you. They… they just don't understand."

"Truly, I imagine!" said Atotoztli caressing his bigger hands, "I am you. And you are me. We’re two halves that are meant to be one; that is what we are. You are not my reflection. You are the missing part of me. And so we feel the same, and ache alike. Your predicaments are my troubles as well."

"You love me equally as much as I do?" asked Yacanex, “For I believe the same.”

"The same love you hold in your heart is the same that blazes in my bosom," Atotoztli said with a sudden swirl of emotions stirring in her eyes.

She slowly walked towards the greenest patch of grass nearby the pond and delicately sat with legs crossed. Yacanex sat to her side watching her. He attempted to decipher her inner troubles, but her almond eyes were sunk into the glittering pond reflections that scintillated a mesmeric pull. The changing forms and flashes had her long black eyelashes immovable.

"Are you feeling alright?" asked Yacanex worried.

"No," Atotoztli bluntly replied. She snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. "I also have problems stemmed from this love I feel towards you. It has affected me dearly to the extent of questioning the soundness of my own sanity. If I have abandoned judgment because of this love, then what sort of dull and lonely judgment I might had to make me flee hastily from it? And even when this looks wrong for the rest, why does it feel right to me?"

"I feel utterly incompetent when I can't even explain to people my honest love for you," said Yacanex. "It feels so simple! So basic! And still, it is highly complicated to express what I feel for you."

"Staring with their baffled eyes!" added Atotoztli.

"And the response!" continued Yacanex.

"Oh, their stunningly obtuse response to our love," said Atotoztli.

They laughed and giggled. She took some air in order to regain her posture as she still giggled.

"Ah Yacanex, it is awful, and yet we laugh."

"I would not want you to suffer," said Yacanex. "If this¬¬¬ – if I am the origin of your pains–"

"Don't!" said Atotoztli a bit crossed. "Do not dare, please, Yacanex!"

"I wouldn’t," said Yacanex, "but I worry about you."

"I never knew love, so I always idealized it as being all marvelous. After all, love is the counterpart of hatred. Sounds simple, right? When I was a child, I saw couples gather here in these gardens around the pond, and it was caring affection what I saw. From the tender eyes of that naïve girl I used to be it was clear – love was not only attainable but free of mundane issues, as a gift bestowed from the heavens to the people of this world. Pure in essence. Yet as an adult, reality opens up crude and complex. Childish dreams of the love we deeply yearn for is scattered by unfounded obstacles. My heart drives me to love, but the world stains it with trivialities. Why then do I have the impulse to love imprinted deeply in my heart if ultimately it incites enmity? The other day I was thinking about that while I was at my beloved balcony. As I watched the people of my city come and go on the streets, I envied them for not having the load of these frustrating burdens. Perhaps they have similar sentimental weight but are better at ignoring them. And so I thought, there has to be a reason I want to love you. The reason why we all love – the desire, the rush, the forbiddance, and its trail of anguish. We, the daring mad fools, revolt against the rampant loathing that rages amongst the hearts of this gritty world. And so we love, with love we defy. It seems that the constant we are mandated to uphold is hatred; nevertheless we challenge this somber world with love. With so much zealous envy against us, the love bearers, I cannot say what is the primal force by which our hearts drum: caring love or bile hatred? Both are real, love and hatred. Two dance rhythms our hearts are endeavored to execute flawlessly at the dance of life."

Atotoztli sobbed as Yacanex tried to console her, but she continued with saddened eyes:

“For hatred we have wide armies

With fierce warriors, of shields and knives,

Battlefields awaiting to feast

With blood to be spilled out of lives

And dust to be lifted up to the skies.”

“But what is there for love?

Only the same battlefields

That crave for our fall

Of those of us without shields

We, who side with love.”

“Lacking the grandeur of the might

Of menacing armies

In the absence of shields and knife

We muster our raw feelings

Relying on passions at sight.”

“And still, those are passions that tear

Far deeper than the sharpest knife

Lengthier than a siege of fear

With annihilation quite rife

Than the most eloquent warfare fight.”