Between The Lies

Chapter 11: Playing the Part

STELLA

Sunday morning comes with a text I've been dreading.

Derek: Picking you up at 11! Can't wait to see you ❤️

I stare at my phone from bed, still in my pajamas, and try to find the energy to care.

Luca never came home last night either. His bedroom door is still closed, his car still gone from the driveway. Two nights in a row now.

I wonder if he's avoiding the house completely now. Avoiding me.

I force myself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water doesn't help the emptiness in my chest.

By eleven, I'm dressed in jeans and a sweater, my hair in a simple ponytail, minimal makeup. I look like someone who's trying but not trying too hard.

I look like a lie.

Derek's car pulls up right on time. He's always on time. Always thoughtful. Always perfect.

I grab my purse and head outside before he can come to the door. Before I have to let him into this empty house that reminds me of everything I can't have.

"Hey, beautiful!" Derek's out of the car, pulling me into a hug before I can prepare myself. He smells like cologne and laundry detergent. Nice. Normal. Nothing like Luca's scent that I know by heart.

"Hey." I hug him back, trying to mean it.

"You look great." He kisses my cheek, then opens the passenger door for me. "Ready for our day?"

"What are we doing?"

"It's a surprise." He grins as he gets in the driver's side. "But I promise you'll love it."

I nod and smile, playing the role of the excited girlfriend.

He reaches over and takes my hand as he drives, his thumb stroking circles on my palm like he always does. It should be comforting. Sweet.

It feels like a chain.

"You've been quiet lately," Derek says after a few minutes of silence. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just tired. Dance practice has been intense."

"Your recital is coming up soon, right?"

"In a few weeks."

"I can't wait to see you perform. You're amazing when you dance." He squeezes my hand. "It's like you become a completely different person. More... free, I guess."

Because when I'm dancing, I don't have to think. Don't have to pretend. Don't have to feel the constant ache of missing someone I can't have.

"Thanks," I say softly.

"Is your brother coming to the recital?"

The mention of Luca makes my chest tight. "I don't know. He's been really busy with his showcase prep."

"Right. I barely see him anymore either. He's always at the studio or rehearsing." Derek glances at me. "You guys doing okay? You seem... I don't know. Different around each other lately."

My heart stops. "What do you mean?"

"Just... I don't know. You used to be really close. Now it's like you're avoiding each other." He shrugs. "Maybe I'm imagining things."

"We're fine. He's just busy and I'm busy. That's all."

"If you say so." But he doesn't sound convinced.

We drive in silence for a while, and I stare out the window, trying not to think about Luca. About where he is right now. About whether he's thinking of me too.

Derek pulls into the parking lot of the botanical gardens on the edge of town.

"Surprise!" He grins. "I remembered you said you've always wanted to come here but never had time. So I thought... perfect Sunday date, right?"

He remembered. Of course he remembered. Because Derek pays attention. Because he's trying.

"This is really sweet," I say, and I mean it. He doesn't deserve this half-version of me. Doesn't deserve a girlfriend who's in love with someone else.

"Come on. I packed us a picnic."

He actually packed a picnic. Sandwiches and fruit and those cookies I like from the bakery downtown. He's thought of everything.

We walk through the gardens, and it's beautiful. Spring flowers blooming everywhere, paths winding through trees, the scent of fresh earth and growth.

Derek holds my hand. Points out flowers he knows the names of. Makes jokes that should make me laugh.

And I try. God, I try.

I smile at the right moments. Laugh when I'm supposed to. Let him take selfies of us together that he immediately posts with captions like Perfect day with my perfect girl.

The comments flood in within minutes.

So cute!

Relationship goals!

You two are perfect together!

I stare at the picture—Derek's arm around me, both of us smiling—and I don't recognize the girl in the photo.

She looks happy.

She looks like she's exactly where she wants to be.

She's the biggest liar of all.

LUCA

I'm at Jake's house when I see the i********: post.

Derek and Stella at the botanical gardens. Her smiling. His arm around her. The caption that makes me want to throw my phone across the room.

Perfect day with my perfect girl.

"Dude, you good?" Jake appears in the doorway of his garage studio. "You've been staring at your phone for like five minutes."

"Yeah. Fine." I set the phone down and pick up my guitar. "Let's get back to work."

"We've been working for six hours straight. Maybe take a break?"

"I'm fine."

"Luca." Jake sits on the amp next to me. "What's going on with you? You've been living here for two days. Won't go home. Barely eating. Just working on music nonstop."

"The showcase is in two weeks. I need to be ready."

"The showcase is one song. You've been ready for weeks." He studies my face. "This is about something else. About someone else?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Is it your sister?"

My head snaps up. "What?"

"Come on, man. I'm not stupid." Jake holds up his hands. "You've been weird ever since she started dating Derek. And I've seen the way you look at her at school. Before you started avoiding everyone, anyway."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay. Fine. You don't want to talk about it." He stands up. "But just so you know—whatever you're dealing with, hiding here isn't going to fix it. Eventually you're going to have to go home. Going to have to face whatever this is."

He's right. I know he's right.

But I can't.

Can't go home to that empty house that smells like her. Can't sit across from her at the dinner table and pretend I'm okay. Can't watch her text Derek and smile at her phone and be happy with someone who isn't me.

So I'll stay here. Work on music. Lose myself in chords and lyrics and anything that isn't the image of Stella in Derek's arms.

My phone buzzes with a text.

Vanessa: Haven't seen you at school in days. You okay?

Me: Fine. Just busy.

Vanessa: That's what everyone keeps saying but nobody believes it. Want to grab coffee tomorrow? As friends. You look like you could use one.

I should say no. Should keep isolating myself until these feelings go away.

But maybe Vanessa is right. Maybe I need something normal. Someone who isn't Stella. Someone who doesn't make my chest ache every time I think about them.

Me: Yeah. Coffee sounds good.

STELLA

By the time Derek drops me off, it's almost dark.

"I had a really great time today," he says, walking me to the door. "I feel like we're really connecting, you know?"

"Yeah. Me too." The lie tastes like ash.

"Can I see you tomorrow? We could study together after school?"

"I have dance practice."

"Right. Of course." He looks disappointed but tries to hide it. "Tuesday then?"

"Sure. Tuesday."

He leans in to kiss me, and I let him. It's soft and sweet and everything a kiss should be.

It's nothing.

When he pulls back, he's smiling. "Goodnight, Stella."

"Goodnight."

I watch him drive away, then turn to the house.

Luca's car is still not in the driveway.

Three nights now. Three nights he hasn't come home.

I walk inside to the empty, silent house and feel the tears building.

This is what we've become. Two people who love each other but can't be together, so we're both running. He's running to studios and friend's houses and anywhere that isn't here. I'm running into the arms of someone I don't love.

And we're both drowning.

My phone buzzes.

Derek: Already missing you. Today was perfect ❤️

I stare at the message and can't bring myself to respond.

Instead, I scroll to Luca's name in my contacts. My thumb hovers over the call button.

I want to hear his voice. Want to ask him when he's coming home. Want to tell him that I miss him so much it physically hurts.

But I don't call.

Because what's the point? What would I even say?

Come home. I miss you. I love you. I can't do this anymore.

All true. All impossible to say.

So I set my phone down and walk upstairs to my room. To my empty bed in my empty house where my brother used to live but doesn't anymore.

And I cry myself to sleep for the third night in a row.

STELLA

Monday morning, I get ready for school alone.

Make coffee alone.

Drive to school alone because Luca still isn't home.

I text him: Are you coming to school today?

No response.

Derek meets me in the parking lot with his usual bright smile and warm hug. "Morning, beautiful. Miss me?"

"Always," I lie.

He walks me to my locker, his arm around my shoulders, and I see people watching. Whispering. Probably talking about how cute we are together.

If only they knew.

"Oh, hey!" Mia appears, looking uncomfortable. She's been avoiding me since I started dating Derek. Since I stopped being available to help her with her Luca crush. "Can we talk? Alone?"

Derek looks between us. "I'll give you girls a minute. See you at lunch, babe?"

"Yeah. Lunch."

He kisses my cheek and walks away.

Mia crosses her arms, studying me. "Okay, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You've been different ever since you started dating Derek. You barely respond to my texts. You're always distracted. And Luca—" She stops. "What happened between you two?"

My heart stops. "What do you mean?"

"You used to be inseparable. Now you barely look at each other. He's never at school. You look miserable even though you're supposedly happy with Derek." Her eyes narrow. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"No. We're fine. He's just busy."

"Stella, I'm your best friend. I know when you're lying." She steps closer. "What's really going on?"

Everything. Everything is going on and I can't tell anyone.

"Nothing," I insist. "I promise. I'm just stressed about dance and school and everything. That's all."

Mia doesn't look convinced, but she lets it drop. "Okay. But if you need to talk—"

"I know. Thanks, Mi."

She hugs me and walks away, and I lean against my locker, trying to hold myself together.

"Stella?"

I look up to find Vanessa standing there, looking concerned.

"Hey," I manage.

"I don't mean to overstep, but... is Luca okay?" She bites her lip. "He's been really off lately. Avoiding everyone. And I know you two are close so I thought maybe you'd know what's going on?"

Everyone keeps asking me about Luca. Like I have answers. Like I'm not just as lost as everyone else.

"He's fine. Just stressed about the showcase."

"Right." But she doesn't believe me either. "Well, if you talk to him, tell him some of us are worried about him. He doesn't have to deal with whatever this is alone."

She walks away, and I'm left standing in the hallway, surrounded by people, and I've never felt more alone.

Because the person I need—the person who understands me better than anyone—is gone.

And I don't know how to get him back.

My phone buzzes with a text from an unknown number.

Unknown: This is the dance academy coordinator. We have an exciting opportunity for talented students at Riverside Academy. More information to follow at an assembly tomorrow.

I stare at the message, barely registering it.

All I can think is: where is Luca?

And when is he coming home?