Between The Lies

Chapter 4: Trying to Be Normal

STELLA

I wake up at six in the morning with a mission.

Fix things with Luca.

Last night was a disaster—the fight before the party, the tension during the drive, him hovering over me all night like some overprotective bodyguard. But there was something different too. He talked to me. He looked at me. For the first time in months, it felt like my brother was actually there, even if he was being weird about it.

So maybe, just maybe, if I try hard enough, we can get back to normal.

I throw on leggings and one of my oversized sweaters—not his hoodie this time, I'm trying to give him space—and pad downstairs to the kitchen. The house is silent except for the hum of the refrigerator and the distant sound of birds outside.

I start with pancakes. Luca's favorite. The ones Mom used to make before her business trips became permanent and "home-cooked breakfast" became a distant memory. I find the recipe on my phone and get to work, measuring flour and cracking eggs, trying to remember how she used to do it.

The batter sizzles when it hits the pan, and the smell fills the kitchen. Vanilla and butter and something that feels like home used to feel.

I'm flipping the third pancake when I hear footsteps on the stairs.

My heart does that stupid jump thing, and I force myself to stay calm. Normal. This is normal. Siblings make each other breakfast all the time.

Luca appears in the doorway, and he stops when he sees me. He's already dressed for school—dark jeans and a grey t-shirt that makes his eyes look darker than usual. His hair is still damp from the shower.

"Hey," I say, trying to sound casual. "I made breakfast. Pancakes. Your favorite."

He just stares at me for a long moment, and I can't read his expression. Surprise? Confusion? Pain?

"You didn't have to do that," he finally says.

"I wanted to." I flip the pancake onto the stack and turn off the stove. "Plus, I thought maybe we could eat together. And then drive to school together? Like we used to?"

Another long pause. I'm holding my breath without meaning to.

Then something shifts in his face. Like he's made a decision.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "Yeah, okay."

Relief floods through me so fast I almost drop the spatula. "Really?"

"Really." He moves into the kitchen, and for the first time in months, he doesn't maintain that careful distance. He actually sits at the breakfast bar, right where he used to sit every morning. "It smells good, Stel."

Stel. He called me Stel. He hasn't called me that in forever.

I try not to let him see how much that means to me as I plate the pancakes and slide them across to him. "I wasn't sure I'd remember how to make them right."

"You did." He takes a bite and his eyes close for just a second. "These are perfect."

We eat in silence for a while, but it's not the heavy, awful silence we've had for months. It's almost comfortable. Almost like before.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out, unable to hold it in anymore. "About last night. I shouldn't have been so defensive about the dress. You were just looking out for me."

Luca's fork pauses halfway to his mouth. "No, I—" He sets it down. "I was out of line. You're right. I've been distant for months and then suddenly acted like I had a right to tell you what to wear. That wasn't fair."

"You always have a right. You're my brother." I push the syrup toward him even though he hasn't asked for it, just because I remember he likes extra. "I just miss you, Luca. I miss us. I miss when we used to talk and hang out and actually act like siblings."

Something flashes across his face—guilt, maybe, or something deeper I can't name.

"I miss that too," he admits, and his voice sounds rough. "More than you know."

"So can we try? Can we just... try to go back to how things were?"

He looks at me for a long moment, and I watch him war with himself. Whatever he's been dealing with, whatever made him pull away, I can see it fighting against what I'm asking.

Then he nods. "Yeah. We can try."

The smile that breaks across my face is involuntary. "Really?"

"Really." He manages a small smile back, and it's the first real one I've seen in months. "Starting now. No more avoiding you. No more being weird."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I want to hug him. I want to jump across this breakfast bar and throw my arms around him like I used to. But something stops me. Some instinct that says maybe we need to take this slow.

So instead I just smile and finish my pancakes, and for the first time in months, breakfast doesn't feel like eating alone.

The drive to school is different.

Luca turns on music—our old playlist, the one we made together years ago—and when "Young and Beautiful" comes on, I catch him glancing at me like he's checking to see if I remember.

I do. This was our song. The one we'd sing badly together on long drives when Mom and Dad were still around enough to force family road trips.

"Remember when we saw Lana Del Rey in concert?" I ask.

"And you cried through the entire show?" A real smile tugs at his lips. "Yeah, I remember."

"I didn't cry the entire show. Just most of it."

"You were sobbing, Stella. I had to give you my jacket because you used all your tissues."

I laugh, and it feels so good. So normal. "Okay, fine. But it was beautiful and emotional and you can't blame me."

"I'm not blaming you." His voice softens. "It was a good night."

It was. Before everything got complicated. Before he started pulling away.

We pull into the Riverside Academy parking lot, and I spot Mia immediately. She's waiting by the entrance with that excited energy she gets when she has gossip or news.

"Oh god," I mutter. "She's going to grill me about last night."

"What about last night?" Luca parks the car but doesn't turn it off yet.

"The party. You pulling me away. Derek." I glance at him. "She was texting me all night asking if I was okay. If you were mad at her."

Guilt flashes across his face. "I wasn't mad at her. I just—" He stops himself.

"Just what?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to get you out of there. The party was getting too crowded and loud."

It's not the whole truth. I can tell. But it's more than he's given me in months, so I'll take it.

"Well, she's going to want details." I unbuckle my seatbelt. "Fair warning."

"Stella, wait." His hand catches my wrist, and the contact sends electricity up my arm. He must feel it too because he lets go immediately. "About Mia."

Oh no. Here it comes. He's going to tell me he likes her back. That he wants to go on that coffee date. That my best friend and my brother are going to become a thing.

I should be happy about that. I should.

So why does my stomach feel like lead?

"What about her?" I manage to keep my voice steady.

"She texted me last night. About coffee. After the showcase." He's looking straight ahead, not at me. "I know you were trying to help by suggesting it, but I think... I think it's better if I don't."

Wait. What?

"You're saying no to her?"

"Yeah."

"But why? Mia's amazing. She's sweet and funny and she really likes you." I'm saying all the right words, but there's this weird feeling in my chest. Like relief. Like hope. Which makes no sense because I should want them together.

"She is amazing," Luca agrees. "But I don't see her that way. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"Oh." I don't know what else to say. "She's going to be disappointed."

"I know. But it's better than leading her on." Finally, he looks at me. "You understand, right?"

Do I? I'm not sure I understand anything anymore. Not why I'm so relieved he's turning Mia down. Not why the thought of him with anyone makes my chest hurt. Not why being this close to him in the car is making my heart race.

"Yeah," I say. "I understand."

"Good." He turns off the car. "Come on. Let's get to class before Mia sends a search party."

We get out, and for the first time in months, we walk into school together. Side by side. Like siblings are supposed to.

Mia practically tackles me the second we're through the doors.

"Oh my god, are you okay? What happened last night? Why did Luca pull you away like that? Derek was so confused and—" She stops when she notices Luca standing next to me. "Oh. Hi, Luca."

"Hey, Mia." His voice is kind but distant. "Can I actually talk to you for a second? Alone?"

Mia's whole face lights up like Christmas morning. "Yes! Of course!"

They step away, and I watch as Luca says something to her. I can't hear the words, but I see her face fall. See the disappointment and hurt wash over her features.

He's letting her down gently. Being honest.

My best friend is getting her heart broken by my brother, and I should feel terrible about it.

But all I feel is that same confusing relief.

What's wrong with me?

Derek appears beside me, his usual confident smile in place. "Hey, Stella. About last night—"

"I'm sorry," I cut him off. "I know Luca was being overprotective and weird. He's just... he's going through something."

"It's not that." Derek shoves his hands in his pockets. "I wanted to apologize. I was pushing too hard. Making you uncomfortable. Your brother was right to call me out."

That catches me off guard. "Oh."

"I like you, Stella. But I don't want to be that guy who can't take a hint." He gives me a sad smile. "So I'm backing off. We're good, though, right? Still friends?"

"Yeah," I say, and I mean it. "Still friends."

He nods and walks away, and I'm left standing in the hallway wondering why everyone's romantic life is falling apart around me.

Luca comes back, and Mia is nowhere to be seen.

"How did she take it?" I ask.

"She'll be okay." He looks tired. "Ready for class?"

"Ready."

We walk together to our lockers, which are in the same hallway but haven't been used at the same time in months. Students stare—probably wondering why the Harrison siblings are suddenly back to being close—but I don't care.

I have my brother back.

That's all that matters.

Even if there's this weird, confusing feeling in my chest that I can't quite name. This awareness of him that feels different from before.

But that's just because we haven't been this close in months, right? Just because I missed him so much that being near him again feels overwhelming and intense and like everything I didn't know I needed.

That's normal.

That's what siblings feel when they reconnect.

Right?

Luca opens his locker, and I catch a glimpse inside. Sheet music, guitar picks, and a photo of us from two years ago. Before everything changed.

"You kept that picture?" I ask.

He follows my gaze and something painful crosses his face. "Yeah. I never took it down."

"I thought you wanted to forget about me."

"Never, Stella." He closes the locker and looks at me with an intensity that makes my breath catch. "I could never forget about you. Even when I was trying to stay away, you were all I thought about."

The words hang between us, heavy with meaning I don't quite understand.

"Well," I say, trying to lighten the moment, "you don't have to stay away anymore. We're doing this. Being normal siblings again."

"Yeah." He says it like a promise. Like a commitment. Like something that costs him more than I could know. "Normal siblings."

But as we walk to class together, as I catch him looking at me when he thinks I'm not watching, as I feel my heart do that flutter thing every time our arms accidentally brush—

I wonder if either of us knows what normal even means anymore.