Grimalkin Academy: Kittens Books 4-6

Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Thomas' office is filled to the brim with piles of papers and books. Most of them have something to do with his thesis, though I honestly don't understand half the words he says when he talks about it. I suppose it doesn't matter too much. I can learn more of it over time.

"Oh good, you're here," Thomas says as he slips through the door. He clicks the key, locking us in, then turns to face me.

He moves forward as if he wants to kiss me, but stops himself just before he does. I try not to be too disappointed. I know his reasons for keeping things almost platonic between us, even if it's hard to cope with sometimes.

"Is everything all right? Your note seemed urgent."

"It is." He pulls a book out from under a stack and hands it to me.

I raise an eyebrow. Another book? Perhaps he should focus on becoming some kind of grand librarian, it seems to suit his talents more than anything else.

"It details how to spot someone who has been using black magic," he explains.

My mouth falls open. "Could this be how Miss Feathertop worked out that we'd..." I trail off as he shrugs.

"That's what I can assume. Or maybe there's something else we're missing."

"But that means we can use it too, right?" I read the pages eagerly, trying to work out if it's even doable.

"I think so. I haven't tried it yet. I was too anxious to show it to you."

I nod. "Thank you. We should get on with this." Despite my words, I set the book down and look at Thomas. "Do you have lunch plans?" I ignore the nerves screaming at me that I shouldn't be asking him this.

"Mona..."

I sigh. "I know, I know. We can't be together. There are rules. I just hate it." I don't mean for the words to fall out, but they do.

"And they're rules for a reason. What if someone found out I was your boyfriend and that I was one of your class assistants. Can you imagine what could happen then?" Even though I'm a little mad at him, the word boyfriend still makes my heart flutter. The traitor.

I purse my lips. It's tough because I do understand what he's getting at.

"And you're not even going to accept breaking the rules in private?" The question is an unfair one. I can understand the answer too. But that doesn't change things.

"It's a slippery slope, Mona."

"We're both intelligent people, we can be careful about where we act like this with one another." It's one of the first times I've referred to myself as clever since I arrived at Grimalkin. Perhaps learning that my magic problems weren't my fault has unlocked my hidden confidence. I had it before I arrived, it just seeped away while I was dealing with the drama of creating kittens instead of doing the magic I was supposed to.

"And what then? We get so used to touching one another that something slips out while we're in front of other people?"

"That's not going to happen," I counter.

"Really? Because people already know. Ryan, Caspian..."

"They have to know about you. It wouldn't be fair to either of them if they didn't," I counter, anger rising inside me despite trying to focus on staying calm. Why is this so difficult? I thought I was coming here to talk to him, maybe spend some time together if I was lucky. But that doesn't seem to be the case as much.

"And Daphne?"

I narrow my eyes. "She's my best friend." Not to mention she has a similar relationship of her own going on. I have to be able to talk to someone about what's going on. Besides, it's a world-renowned fact that the best friend doesn't count when it comes to keeping secrets.

"But she's another person who knows about us. And no doubt her boyfriends know too."

I press my lips together. I have no idea what they do and don't know. But I assume he's right. "I honestly have no idea," I admit. "But that doesn't matter. They're not going to tell anyone." They have enough things to focus on without spending too much time thinking about who I'm in a relationship with.

"But this is just it, Mona. One person knows, and then another one does, and another...if we don't do anything together, then it's nothing more than a rumour. But if we do kiss and someone sees it, then that's confirmation that something is going on."

I close my eyes and count to three, unsure what else to do. "I know all of this." And I do. It isn't a lie, and I know that we need to be careful. "But it doesn't make it any easier. I want to spend time with you. For more than just talking about black magic." The fight drains from my words. I don't think he's trying to be difficult. He just wants what's best for us. And to keep his job. That makes sense, I don't want to lose my place as a student here. That's already something I have to deal with due to my kitten situation. The clock is ticking for me to stay.

"Mona..." He rubs a hand over his face. "I promise, I want to be with you. To hold your hand, kiss you, tell the world that you're my girlfriend."

The butterflies return with a vengeance. They love that he's talking about me this way.

"I'm sorry." I glance away, unable to meet his gaze. I'm making this harder than I need to, and that's not fair to either of us really. I should be more careful.

He steps up, closer than is comfortable if we're supposed to be keeping our distance.

"Mona," he whispers.

I gulp, trying to stop my gaze from slipping to his lips too much. I want to kiss him. The urge is almost too strong to resist, but I know I have to. For both our sakes.

And then his lips are on mine. Thomas wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me even closer. I melt into him, in a little disbelief that we've waited this long, while knowing this is against everything we've just said. He's right when he says it's a slippery slope into acting more like a couple in public, but in this moment, I'm not sure I care. I want to spend all the time in the world with him that I can.

We break apart, both of us breathing heavily as we stare into one another's eyes.

"That was unexpected," I whisper.

He chuckles. "Apparently arguing with you makes me want to kiss you."

"Then I should make sure to argue with you more often," I tease.

"Just not in public."

"That isn't what you were saying a moment ago? I thought we had to stay away from one another full stop?" That's not what I want, but I have to respect Thomas and his wishes. A relationship won't work if it's only what one of us wants.

"We still have to be careful," he assures me. "Very careful."

I nod. "No acting like a couple in a public."

"Or like we're too interested in one another."

"I don't think it'd be that strange if I'm seen as having a crush on you," I counter. "Students like their teachers a little too much all the time." I give his tie a playful tug. He looks good dressed like this.

"But that'll tempt me into acting on it. Don't get me wrong, Mona, I want you." He pulls back and rubs a hand over his face. "You've turned my world upside down. I thought I was happy doing what I was, researching lost magic, learning more. I never thought about girlfriends or family, or anything like that. Then you came along."

My mouth falls open. This isn't where I thought he was going to go.

"You've changed everything. Don't get me wrong, I still want to do all the things I originally wanted to do. But I also want something else. Something more." He reaches out and touches my cheek.

My eyes flutter closed. "I know how you feel," I admit. All of them have turned my life upside down. Now I need to fix my magic and stay at the academy for more reasons than just learning.

It's not turning my life upside down for a guy, or in my case three. It's more that my life plan is expanding to accommodate them. I think it's a natural process. Everyone thinks they know how love fits into their equation, but it all shifts when it finally does.

One look at Thomas and I know I'm seeing things the right way. I can have the future I always dreamed of and them. So long as I can fix my magic.