Hot As Sin

3

Kenji slaps me on my biceps. “See! Even Nico likes it!”

“Yeah, and proving my point, Nico likes his clothes painted on. Look at those f*****g jeans he’s in. How can you even breathe, man? That looks painful.”

Grinning, Nico waggles his hips. “Gotta give the fans what they want.”

Chloe says primly, “Ew.”

Kenji looks around. “Speaking of ‘ew,’ where’s that beast of a man of yours?”

“A.J.’s in the kitchen with Abby and the nanny. The second we walked in the door, he smelled the veggie chili the caterer brought and made a beeline for it.”

Kat wrinkles her forehead. “How’d he know it was veggie chili?”

Chloe’s smile is small and satisfied. “His sense of smell is his superpower.” Her smile grows wider. “One of his superpowers, anyway.”

Kenji covers his ears with his hands. “If the words ‘Big Daddy’ are about to leave your mouth, I’ll puke all over your pink pedi, girlfriend.”

Laughing, Chloe glances down at her toenails, painted shell pink. “Guess I should’ve worn something other than flip flops.”

“Nobody’s puking on anything today,” says Kat, taking charge. “It’s the last time we’ll see Barney for who knows how long, so I expect everyone to behave and act like adults.”

Grace says drily, “That’s like asking a bunch of zoo animals to mind their table manners. I’ll be shocked if we get through the evening without a fist fight or a visit from the cops.”

“Cops? Fist fight? Sounds like a party!”

Brody swaggers up to the group, wearing his usual Eurotrash getup of rib-hugging dress shirt with the top four buttons undone, tight designer slacks, loafers without socks, a ridiculously big watch, and artfully tousled hair which probably took him an hour to style.

Somehow he pulls it off without looking pretentious, or gay. The bastard.

“Kat was just admonishing us to be on our best behavior tonight,” says Grace, smiling at Brody.

I glance away before they kiss and look at Kenji. “Why don’t you find something for Brody to wear so he doesn’t have to go around looking like Posh Spice?”

“Because Posh Spice was the hot one, lovey. And a man wearing combat boots when not in combat isn’t allowed an opinion on anyone else’s fashion choices.”

When Brody smirks at me, I sigh and shake my head. Then I narrow my eyes at Kat, who’s looking a little pale. “Hey. You okay?”

Nico looks at her sharply. “Baby?”

Kat drags in a deep breath through her nose and blows it out in a big gust. “Whoever coined the term ‘morning sickness’ had it wrong. It’s more like all day sickness.”

“Tell me about it,” says Chloe, resting a hand on her stomach.

“Listen to the two of you hens complain.” Grace shakes her head, but she’s smiling fondly at her girlfriends.

Trying not to wonder how soon she’ll be the one complaining about morning sickness, I change the subject. “Just out of curiosity, Kenji, why are you dragging around a rack of clothes?”

Brody snorts. “When isn’t he dragging around a rack of clothes?”

Ignoring him, Kenji smiles at me. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“Ha. Seriously. Answer the question.”

“So bossy!” Simpering, he bats his eyelashes again. “I adore it when you go all dominant on me, lovey. Trés sexy.”

I look at the ceiling and sigh. “Yeah. That’s me. Big Sexy in a skintight vest.”

Nico says, “Great song title.”

Kenji says, “Trés means very, not big. And I know for a fact you speak French, so stop pretending to be such a provincial putz. And don’t roll your eyes at me!”

In unison, Kat, Chloe, and Grace say, “You speak French?”

Everyone stares at me.

I send Kenji—who’s now grinning—a bland smile. “Careful, pumpkin. You don’t want me breaking out the key to Pandora’s Box, now do you?”

He twists his lips to a pout, while everyone else looks back and forth between us in confusion.

“Why do I get the feelin’ we’re missin’ a whole lotta somethin’ here?” drawls Nico, gazing at me from under hooded lids.

Kenji quips, “Oh, you’re missing a whole lotta something, all right, but it’s in that echo chamber between your ears.” Then he puts his nose in the air and stalks off in his red sparkly heels, pulling the garment rack behind him.

When all eyes turn to me, I put on my bland smile again. “Ignore him. He’s premenstrual.”

Kat says, “Don’t be sexist!”

Grace muses, “Can that statement be sexist if they’re both male, and Kenji doesn’t menstruate?”

She looks at me with her head c****d. Her comment was offhand and her expression is mild, but her green eyes are questioning spears stabbing me straight through.

She obviously knows I have insider info on the subject.

Jesus. Smart women are my Kryptonite.

I look away before my d**k decides it’s time to wake up and stretch. “My apologies, ladies. PMS jokes are sexist. Please nobody put anything strange in my drinks tonight.”

Grace narrows her eyes, Brody looks bored, and Nico is busy paying attention to Kat, who just made a small, ladylike burp and a face like she ate a lemon.