Hot As Sin

6

“I know for a fact Nico already hired my replacement, so quit your whining.” I pull back and grin at him. He’s the more sentimental of the pair, always getting choked up at weddings and cooing at babies and dispensing sudden hard hugs.

“Nobody could replace you, man. You’ll be missed.”

“Don’t you cry on me now, princess,” I say affectionately, seeing the moisture in his eyes.

He grumbles, “f**k you,” and gives me a friendly punch in the shoulder.

“What about you, Chris?” I turn to him with a smile. “You gonna start the waterworks, too?”

“Nah. I never liked you much. You’re too uptight. Be glad to see the back of you.”

We share a hug, then grin at each other like morons until Busty clears her throat.

Chris says, “Oh, s**t! Sorry. Barney, this is Heather. Heather, Barney. It’s his party.”

“Nice to meet you, Barney. I’ve heard an awful lot about you.” Heather sticks out her hand.

I shake it, impressed by the firmness of her grip and her straight, no-nonsense gaze. “All lies, no doubt. These two are so full of s**t their eyes are brown.”

She laughs. “Yeah, they are. The first thing they told me when we met is that they were madly in love with me and we should all get married.”

Ethan says, “That wasn’t bullshit, babe.”

She shakes her head, chuckling. “Yeah, right. And my t**s are real, too.”

Chris and Ethan take a moment to gaze admiringly at her breasts, while I laugh out loud, unexpectedly charmed by her.

“Well, you good take care of my boys when I’m gone, Heather. They need somebody to look after them so they don’t get into trouble.”

She glances first at Ethan, then at Chris. Her smile is small and fond. “Oh, they’ll be well looked after, don’t you worry.”

The three of them beam at each other. I can’t help but laugh again.

“Sir?”

I turn to find Miss Popularity holding a whiskey out to me.

“You left your drink in the kitchen.”

“Oh. Great. Thanks.” I take it, giving her a mock salute. She responds by giving me a curtsy and another flirty smile before flouncing off.

When I look back at Ethan and Chris, I can tell by their faces what they’re thinking. I shake my head. “Keep it in your pants, kids, she’s too young for me.”

“Looks legal to me,” says Chris.

“Legal or not, I’m not interested.”

Ethan says, “Dude! Are you a f*****g monk or what?”

“Not the last time I checked.”

“You should be tapping that tonight! Did you see the ass on that chick? If she looked at me the way she looked at you, I’d already be balls deep in her!”

I look at Heather, but she merely smiles. Guess she’s not the jealous type.

“I’m on a plane to New York in the morning, in case you forgot. Not an ideal time to start a relationship.”

Chris barks out a disbelieving laugh. “Relationship? Just take her into one of the bathrooms and bend her over the sink.”

I say drily, “Such a romantic.”

“Seriously, though,” says Ethan, sounding concerned. “When was the last time you got some, bro?”

“Seriously, bro, none of your f*****g business.”

Chris and Ethan look at each other. “He ever had a girlfriend that you can remember?”

“What, you think he’s gay?”

“No, but I mean, we’ve never seen him with a woman. Ever. What’s that all about?”

I sigh heavily. “I’m standing right f*****g here, idiots.”

“Maybe he just likes to keep his private life private,” suggests Heather.

Chris and Ethan peer at me suspiciously. Chris says, “You got a secret life, bro?”

My tone mild, I say, “Shut up, both of you. And thank you, Heather, for being the lone voice of reason. And now I’m leaving so you can speculate on my personal life to your hearts’ content.” I raise my glass to Heather. “Pleasure to meet you.”

I head toward the backyard, waving a dismissive hand when the boys try to call me back. I hear Heather gently scold them for driving me away, then Chris teases that she’s attracted to me.

She says, “Well, duh, of course I am. The man is hot as sin. What are those tattoos on his arms? They look like some kind of exotic language.”

Ethan says, “Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve never seen them before. He’s never worn anything but a suit the entire time I’ve known him.”

Heather’s voice is a throaty purr. “A mystery. Even hotter.”

Chris chuckles. “You know he can probably still hear us.”

I call over my shoulder, “Yes, I can. Knew I liked you, sweetheart.”

I hear the sound of female laughter. Then, just as I pass through the open glass doors to the patio, she shouts, “Like you, too, mystery man! Hope we’ll see more of each other later!”

As it turns out, I’d be seeing a hell of a lot more of Chris and Ethan’s new girlfriend than any of us could’ve ever imagined.