Chasing your Wish

chapter#4( I don't want this)

I looked at Tyler face and he doesn't want me to go, but what do I do.

well I walked towards my car and told my driver that to opened the door for me and he opened the door. I jumped on it..

I said driver to go on, we all moved to the out to the Marine without wasting time. There was alots of things going on with my life. I don't understand want to do, how will I handle these things....If some lives form a perfect circle, other take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand. Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has love for which I can only be grateful.We must allow the Word of God to confront us, to disturb our security, to undermine our complacency and to overthrow our patterns of thought and behavior.

We reach to the Marine, Tyler and everyone was already waiting for me. when I gets off from the car, The sand is the most gentle hue of gold, almost earthen and muted, the humble star of the scene. I love this beach. I love the driftwood that comes upon the buoyant waves as tiny rescue boats. Then there is the seaweed, that flora of those salty waves, as deeply green as any high summer foliage. My favourite though, of everything that is here upon the softly rolling dunes, is the tall, tall grass that whispers so sweetly into the gusting breeze.

Tyler was pretending like he wants to say something but moreover I don't want to talk to him.

I walked with Abby to the yacht, we walked together on the main deck area. The weather was awesome like it never happened before but my mind was stuck for future and mom's pressure killing me.

I was looking to the sky," What's wrong with you Stella! you are looking in crap mood! is everything okay?" I said," No I'm fine...I was just thinking about it will be soo good if everything will be Okay.... "

Abby said," what do you mean ? everything is already fine."

I replied, " nothing you can't understand..."

I gaze over the corner side, Tyler and Hannah was talking to each other friendly but Tyler was constantly making eye contact with me which was making me more kinda of curious what he wants to talk about?

I said to Abby let's go upstairs, there view will be more good. Tyler stopped with Hannah and said to us," wait girls I'm coming with you...."

Hannah said," oh Tyler but we have to capture couple of selfie, can you stay here for me.."

I said with sulk expression," yeah Tyler stay with her because she really need you.."

Hannah was start posing with Tyler, They were making romantic poses which was quite annoying. Abby was laughing on them, I was feeling quite good.

Hannah was pretending like she is a big jerk. I thought it's better to leave them alone.

I straight go to the bar counter, the bar tender serve the wine. Abby asked me," so what's further plan?"

I said," I will stay here for couples of weeks then I had to return back to London. I need to attend an charity event for children hospital.."

" You mean you can't stay with us in this vacation"

" You can say, that but that's good for me in a good way"

" No, that's sucks girl for me... what would I do then if you weren't here?

I glanced on hann and told her to Hung out with Hann. She rolled her eyes and told me, She is just glue to Tyler... well then Luke and Vinny came in rush, they start screamingly said," guys.... attention Please.... "

They picked glasses filled with beer and said," cheers for new trip... we are going to Kauai island. "

" WHAT! why you didn't tell me about it?

I'm not going to Kauai I need to return home. I need to do alot of work plus I didn't brought my laptop"

" That's the reason we didn't tell you about it,we knew you would say that" Tyler said.

" You are absolutely right Tyler I will never come and I am not going to Kauai with you guys period"

" But... but... Abby start saying something but I shoot an glared on her and she stopped.

The yacht start moving in full speed, Abby and I was sitting luxury sitting are. I was staring Hannah were spending quality of time with Tyler and I was so annoyed by Tyler he lied to me.

Hannah were enjoying the so called photoshoot.

Luke came to us, he was staring at them and said with smile," looking like a hot new wedd couple! "

I said," Oh come on luke they are looking jokers..."

Abby said," Like always Hannah always forcing him, to do what she want...she is clinging."

I said," I'm agree with Abby...she is."

Abby say come on Zoe we have to do scuba diving and swimming, which was quite good idea. I love the swimming.

I go downstairs room, and wear the jump swimming suit,

while I heard voice of Tyler. he said," Stella! are you there?"

I was thinking it's better to not respond him.

He opened the door while I was Changing. I asked,"what are you doing here..." In the shadows on his face was so close to me that I could smell the sweet ropy fragrance of the sherry we have been drinking,

" I'm sorry I didn't know you were changing" he said, turning his face on the other direction.

I put on my top and said, you can now turned around and what are you doing in here?

He turned around, and dead stare me for a good moment, then he finally spoke.

" Are you mad on me?

" Obviously, you lied to me it's a pretty good reason to mad on you"

" I didn't not, I just don't tell you about it and didn't lie to you there's a difference Stella"

" Whatever but best friend don't hide anything from each other."

" Okay, I am sorry I will never hide anything from you now on. Give me a chance to redeem myself"

" What chance?

" I wanted ask you out for dinner tomorrow just me and you only.please don't say no to me"

I paused and thought Why Tyler acting so weird towards me. I can feel he was up to something. I lift my one brow and squint my nose...

" Ummm I will think about that"

Tyler again gets closer to me but I pushed him away and make my way out of the room.

I walked upstairs, ten minutes of difference Tyler also come upside. I looked to Abby she was lying on the met, she was enjoying the sunbath. I said Abby what are you doing?

she take off her glasses and looked towards me," oh you are ready! I was just enjoying sun bath...ah see Tyler is coming let's go now we all gonna do squba diving.."

My reaction to her was just sulk,Abby is craziest Cousin in our group. She always do some wired thing which was out of box. Tyler was laughing on Abby behind me and he said," oh Abby what happened here...what are you doing?"

Abby make innocent face and said," I was just taking sunbath."

I said," okay now lets go I don't have time... I need to get back home before dark... hurry up"

I wear the Diving Mask and Snorkel · Wetsuit , Scuba Gloves , Fins , Scuba Tank ,Regulator, now I was ready for div inn, Tyler and Abby also joined me.

I walked towards the diving area, and takes my position. when is dived inside the ocean, My lungs expand as I inhale shallow sips of cold, dry air. My eyes widen as the sound of my shaky, rattling breaths cut through the silence. I spin in frantic circles in the darkness that threatens to swallow me completely. I need to focus on something: a rock, a fish, anything to remind me that I am not alone. If I find a place to focus then I won’t lose myself in this underwater domain. Goosebumps sprout on my arms, not from the chill of the water, but from the unknown. Out of the corner of my eye I see a cluster of dull, gray fish swimming between tendrils of algae draped across a rotting log. They are alien creatures in an alien world. My sudden appearance startles them and they dart away, leaving the water opaque. I wave my hand through the lake water, trying to disperse the thick cloud of silt and plant particles that surround me, blind me. A murky figure began to swim toward me. I squint my eyes through my goggles and recognize my dive instructor. After a feeble attempt to move toward him, I realize that trying to swim with my arms is useless. The bulky buoyancy controller and equipment strapped around me are restricting. Arms hanging limply by my side, I make my way clumsily over to the instructor by kicking my flimsy fins. In the time it takes me to reach him, I am out of breath and the compressed air has sapped my mouth of moisture. My dive partner swims up behind him, looking at me with magnified eyes that mirror my anxiety.

As we continue to descend slowly into the shadows I keep checking my air gauge, eying the needle that creeps slowly and steadily toward empty. I feel a slight pressure in my ears. It is a small discomfort, but I act as I was instructed in class only a week earlier. My bulky, gloved fingers pinch my nose, and I blow out to clear my ears. It doesn’t help. I push a finger under my dive cap to free my ears and repeat the process. Nothing happens. Seeing the group now below me, I sink like an anchor. The pressure gets worse. I squeeze my nose shut and try again. It isn’t working. My partner is swallowed by the deep abyss. The pressure snaps to a sharp pain and I stop. I yell into the regulator and a flurry of bubbles rushes from my mouth. Signaling to the dive master, my hand becomes a pendulum. It moves from side to side- the gesture that something is wrong. I point to my ears and then to the surface. The pain grows as I ascend and I hear bubbling in my ears. My fins won’t move any faster. The flexible rubber material and thin plastic are easily manipulated by the water. I’m almost at the surface; I can see rays of hope penetrating through the lake. A painful frothing sound rings in my ears. I strain against the pull of the water, against the pain in my ears, the pressure in my head. The light from above casts a surreal look under the lake. My vision is turning fuzzy, bordered by waves of black. I don’t know which way is up or which way is down. Then my struggle ends. Motionless, I stare ensnared and entranced by the eerie water that I am surrounded by. I’ve stopped moving, so why is the world around me spinning in circles?

The burning in my lungs reminds me to breathe. I fill my mouth with crisp, metallic air. I take deep breaths to calm myself, but the world still goes around like a child’s toy. Something is tugging my arm and I hear the sound of air being forced into my vest. And like a yoyo dangling from a string, I am yanked up.

There is something good in the ocean, suddenly my eyes capture Tyler who was swimming just right behind me and than on the left side Abby again towards me they nodding and try to give me sign that I am enjoying.This was best Experience of life.