Fake Love

Chapter Five

One week later

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Ugh what is that irritating noise it’s giving me a headache.

I try to open my eye to where I am, but my eye lids seemed to weigh a ton. I can’t even move my body,

What is going on?

The beeping increased and became erratic as I started to panic.

Does that mean I’m alive? Please no it cannot be, I don’t want to be.

Through my panic and internal pleading my body began to feel lighter. With the sudden weight loss my eyes started opening. My vision was blurry, so I blinked my eyes a few times, slowly I brought my hand up to rub them to help clear my vision. I lifted myself up into a sitting position, it took a while because my body was stiff and aching but on the fourth attempt, I was successful. Taking in my surroundings it dawned on me that I was in the hospital again. It was night time the room was by the moonlight streaming through the window on my left. On my right was the source of the beeping came from the heart rate monitor I was linked to. Looking around the room again I noticed I was alone. I was always alone but I could not stop the overwhelming disappointment of not having anyone by my side and the reality of how unloved and unwanted I truly was came crashing down on top of me. I was too tired to handle this amount of emotional turmoil, so I turned my head and stared out the window at the night sky to pretend I was in my secret place. Thinking of my secret place made me feel like I was forgetting something and someone important. It was on the edge of my mind I chased after it but just as it was in my reach it vanished.

Maybe it will come back to me if I don’t think about it.

The door to my room opened and in walked a nurse, she must have been in her mid-thirties or so. Soon as she saw me, she jumped startled muffling her scream with her hand. I stared at her emotionlessly, I was so numb at this point that I almost forgot I had a body.

“Sorry sweetheart it’s just we were not expecting you to be awake so soon.” She explained sheepishly. “What happened?” I squeaked out, my voice sounded like someone had strangled me a thousand times.

“Here dear.” She handed me a cup of water with a straw to make it easier for me to drink. Taking the cup from her I thanked her and waited for her answer while I sipped on the water.

“Well, you were missing for two weeks, it is a miracle that you managed to survive for that long without food and water. One of your teachers found you in the school’s libraries basement, at that point in time you were fading fast. We found several burns on you that had become septic, so your immune system was trying to fight off blood infection that took us some time to get under control. However, they have now began to heal and may scar lightly in future. We removed the hand cuffs, but we had to leave the gag in your mouth a little longer because you skin was so badly chaffed your skin had split open which allowed the cloth to embed itself in the open skin. As for your wrists they were extremely sore from the metal rubbing and burning your skin. They were also severely infected and have only just begun to heal. Now I won’t lie to you sweetheart I am a very blunt and honest person, and this is something I believe you should know.” I have a feeling I already know what it is she is going to say. “You flat lined, you were legally dead for five minutes. We did all we could to revive you but as much as the doctors tried nothing worked. But on the sixth minute you came back somehow and now here you are.” After explaining what happened to me, she tried to gauge my reaction in case I had an emotional break down or something. I was surprised anyone noticed I was gone in all honesty, but my surprise was quickly replaced by sadness. I was dead for five minutes five blissful minuets, but I was brought back to this hell call life. When I didn’t say anything, she continued her checks I assumed so that I could process what she had just told me. She jotted something down on her paperwork then turned back to me with worry. “Thank you for telling me the truth, really I appreciate it more than you know.” I gave her small smile to put her at ease and she gave me a bright smile in return. I did wonder though, “How long have I been asleep since coming back?”

“It has been four days since you came back however you had no brain activity. We feared you were brain dead and would be comatose for six months at the very least. Which is why I was so startled, I wasn’t expecting to see you up and awake.” She chuckled, well at least she was kind enough to explain things to me and not get annoyed like the last nurse from my other hospital venture. The door swung open with a bang making me jump. My stomach sank as fear gripped my heart at the site of my parents walked in. The monitor gave away my fear, I dropped my gaze to avoid looking into their eyes. I knew they were furious, but I just couldn’t look at them.

“Hailey.”

I looked around frightened thinking I was back in the hospital. A hand squeezed my shoulder bringing me back to the present.

“Hailey breath, breath. That’s it focus on my voice and breath dear.” Instructed Mrs Willows, I breathed deeply while I gripped the edge of the desk so hard my knuckles turned white. After a few more deep breaths I regained what little composure I had.

Wait that’s the name I had forgotten, Rowan. But who was he again? Why is it that every time I relive that memory, I always forget that part about Rowan it’s frustrating.

I pondered for a bit but was distracted by Mrs Willows. “Hailey are you ok? Do you need to see the nurse?” I was touched by her concern for me. I breathed a heavy sigh ready to explain how my broken brain sent me back in time. “Yes, I’m sorry Mrs Willows my PTSD was triggered so I was reliving the basement incident. I’m not sure what triggered it I’m sorry for the convenience.” I explained looking down at me desk, I hated lying to one of the very few teachers who were good to me, but I couldn’t tell her the trigger was my main bully she wouldn’t believe me. After all I’m the abused little nobody that everyone tolerates. To this day I still don’t know why she hates me but since we were freshmen, she’s managed to turn most of the school against me. This included the teachers except for four, Mrs Willows, Mr Reese, Mrs Jones, and maybe Mr Walch. They were the only ones to show any form of concern for me, to be honest I’m glad not all the teachers could be swayed by the bully group and their collective wealth, well their families wealth. Unlike the teachers that accepted the money and nothing else the students would follow her lead and believe every lie she breathed like the sheep that they were. Not to mention they would dress just like her or as close as they could seeing as not everyone could afford high end brands like her. So, all the girls would wear knock offs or the cheaper version while the boys tried their hardest to be like her boyfriend Jason, the star jock. Most believe that if they act like him then they will get a girl like Rebecca who let’s be honest may be pretty as a cake on the outside but it rotten and spoilt on the inside, pathetic sheep. Mrs Willows expression softened; she has been helping me cope with my PTSD since she was the one who found me. She did confide in me that she felt protective and responsible for me ever since that day, I was flabbergasted to say the least, but it felt like I had gained an aunt or a big sister, but I couldn’t get too close or attached unfortunately.

“I understand. Do you need to step outside for a minute?” I shook my head not wanting to draw anymore attention to myself than what was already there. “Ok, just remember you can come to me if you are struggling, and the therapy option is there when you are ready.” She stated in a tone both stern and gentle, I nodded my head and watched as she retreated to her desk. I was then met with many eyes staring at me, some curious some sympathetic and some mocking. I never understood why some got pleasure from others suffering.

Why are they still staring it’s making me uncomfortable.

I shrunk back into my seat pulling the collar of my hoody up to cover my hide my face.

“ALRIGHT CLASS BACK TO WORK!” Demanded Mrs Willows with a clap of her hands, her raised voice diverted the classes attention back to the front and away from me. Releasing the breath, I was holding my tensed body relaxed. As I relaxed, I crushed my stomach accidently sending a wave of agony through me making me breathless. My eyes scrunched closed I took shallow breath until it passed. When the pain became bearable, I pulled my hood over my head to help mask my pain since my usual figurative mask just wasn’t sticking today.

The class continued as normal without any further disturbances which I was grateful for however, the flashback was lingering in the back of my mind. It was putting me on edge making me paranoid, what was not helping was Rebecca’s side glances. Every time she looked my way a smirk would appear on her mouth along with a vicious look in her eye. It made the hair on my neck stand at attention, she’s clearly planned something, and I want nothing to do with it.

UGH whatever I’ll just avoid her and her sheep of her inner circle like the plagues that they are.

The bell rang signalling the end of class, I packed my bag slowly while I waited for the class to empty before leaving myself. I stood as careful as humanly possible so I wouldn’t agitate my injuries, I don’t think I could handle the pain again without my pain killers.

Ugh I should have brought them today, how am I going to cope with gym? Crap I can’t do gym today my neck is still marked. Crap crap crap CRAP! I’ll figure it out during lunch for now let’s just get to art class and go from there.

I threw my bag on and headed to the door quickly before Mrs Willows could pry further. The moment I entered the hallway it was chaos; everyone was running around like headless chickens trying to get to their next class as always. I scurried along trying to avoid contact with the other students, the last thing I want is to deal with more pain. Thanks to the PTSD and the knee crippling pain from my bruises I felt extremely vulnerable. I stifled yet another sigh, I’m starting to get a bit fed up with sighing every five seconds.

Crossing my arms to help me feel protected I walked past the lockers and headed to the stairs to my next class on the second floor. I always use the stairwell that kind of looked like fire exit stairs, no on uses them except at lunch time to make out or to do s****l things. Just the thought of anything s****l sent a cold shiver down my spine. I could feel the dark memories at the back of my head trying to break through the invisible walls and remind me of what my parents had allowed.

No no no, not again I do not want to remember those days.

My heart became erratic, my breathing was non-existent because I forgot how to breath. Full fledged panic began consuming me once again, it’s familiar shadow cast over me swallowing me whole. A speck of desperation sparked within me as the memory of a warm greasy hand caressing my shoulder could be felt. The moment I felt it I slammed my head with all my might into the concreate wall. The pain was indescribable, but the memory was almost fully present as I fell to the floor. I slammed my head two more times each time harder than the last then fell to the floor completely, panting trying to catch my breath. My body ached but all feelings both memory and emotional were gone, almost like they were never there. I did not dare to move scarred to feel even more pain which I truly did not.

Suddenly the bell rang announcing the start of second period, the bell was extremely loud echoing in the desolate stairway it seemed to get louder as the ringing bounced off the walls intensifying my already searing migraine. I held my head in my hands, sealed my eye closed tight and curled up into the fetal position. The ringing felt as if it was hurting me physically which sounds ridiculous, but it was true. It made me whimper which I swore I would never do again. I don’t know how much time had passed before noticing the bell had stopped its assault on me. I started to relax but my breathing took a little longer to recover.

Ow my head hurts and the brightly lit cream walls are spinning, I think I’m going to be sick. I might be concussed, great just what I need.

I waited a little long until the walls stopped spinning and I knew I wouldn’t throw up. Sighing gently, I got up off the floor, my body trembled thanks to the adrenaline still pumping through my veins. Once on my feet granted still a bit shaky, I straighten up and touch the part of my head that impacted the wall to make sure there was no blood, thankfully there was none just a sore spot with a bump forming. With a shaky breath I finish climbing the remaining stairs to the second floor all the while trying not to vomit everywhere. At the top of the stairs were double doors that lead to a hallway covered in posters and ads for different clubs. Along the hall were doors on both sides leading to classrooms, on the left were dedicated rooms for IT and on the right was geography, history, art and Spanish. Dragging my feet to the last door on the right which led to the art room. As usual the door was open, before walking in I rubbed my face, fixed my clothes then walked in as if nothing was wrong. Everyone was already working on their projects.

“How nice of you to join us, Miss Morris. Care to explain why you are twenty minutes late to my lesson?” Demanded Mr Welch, he is a failed artist who tried to make it big but did not. Now he is a five-foot four annoyed little art teacher who take pleasure in criticising others, especially if you’re late. Silence fell over the class as they watched our interaction listening intently. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. A scowl painted his face that matched the irritation in his dark brown eyes, “I am sorry sir, I was in the bathroom. Um……m-my…..um period came early so…..um….you know.” I lied, my face turning red from embarrassment since everyone heard what I said so clearly. Mr Walchs face switched from anger to shame before landing on uncomfortable. “Oh, um ok go to your seat.” He mumbled as he walked off. I scurried to my seat at the back and got on with my project. I can’t focus my head is throbbing, but I must persevere. I decided to drink some water from my bag, grabbing my water bottle from my bag I opened it to take a few swigs. The cool water felt so good as it slid down my throat, my body was grateful for it. I felt better the moment it hit my stomach. With what felt like a second wind in a long marathon I put my drink away and continued with my project, it is a medium sized landscape painting. Today I would finish the sketching the start painting the background. Just as I put the finishing touches on the sketches the bell rang for recess. The class packed up their things hastily clearly eager to get to the canteen for the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that the whole school loves. I on the other hand took my time, not like I could move any faster if I wanted to. I was about to leave when Mr Walch approached me looking guilty with a hint of awkwardness…I think.

“Hailey a moment please.”

What now?

I turned to face him in the doorway. “I would like to apologies for putting you on the spot earlier and for causing you any embarrassment with your private matter. So, I have decided from now on if anyone is late for my class, I will discuss it in private with them. Again, I am so so sorry for my actions.” I could feel my eyes widen from the shock I was feeling, HE is apologising to ME. Of all people ME, he was one of the ones that treated me badly, yet he does this. I’m already dizzy and overly emotional as it is today but now, I must deal with this. He looked me dead in the face awaiting my reply while I just wanted to break down and cry in all honesty. That’s two people showing me kindness today.

“Um….th-thank you sir. Yo-you really don’t have to apologise I was as fault, I deserved to be humiliated so please don’t apologise.” I finally replied with my eyes downcast. I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eye for fear he would switch back to being horrible to me again. I was so distracted I did not see him approach closer to me, I flinched at his proximity, and he frowned at my reaction. “Hailey why would you ever believe you deserve that? You did not deserve that, granted you were late for a legit reason so please promise me that you will never think that way again.” He was deadly serious which confused me. “I thought you hate me like most of the other teachers.” I said looking down at the ground again, so I missed whatever reaction he had. “I don’t hate you Hailey, I am sorry if I made you think or feel that way. I can’t speak for the other, but I do not. And I can hand on heart tell you that unlike some of the other teachers I refused the handout the Michaels were offering; I live by too many morels to accept the devil’s money.” He said softly, I looked up surprised by this newfound knowledge.

He, he didn’t take their money. But why was he so mean before but then again, he apologised so maybe it was just a front. Then again, he was decent to me at times so maybe it was just little man syndrome? Either way I cannot believe everything he says people are nothing but liars……..I learnt that the hard way and now I’m living a hellish existence so no I can’t be too trusting. Uuugh now I am contradicting myself because I trust Henry, but that is different he hasn’t had contact with that sad excuse of a female Rebecca nor dose he know of those other rich tycoons….I hope. And I may have lowered my guard with Henry which was dumb it would be even dumber if I do that with him. Wait maybe he is being nice to get my guard down like the IT teacher which only lead me to being locked in a closet for most of the day.

We stared at each other for a little while longer before it dawned on me that I had said out loud that I thought he hated me. My face painted red by the embarrassment of the reality of my situation.

OH MY GOD I AM CLEARLY CONCUSSED. I SAID IT OUT LOUD. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.

Mr Walch started laughing, a big bright smile dancing on his lips. “I take it you were thinking out loud without meaning to.” He chuckled a little more before calming down, my response was to look down yet again while the heat evaporated from my face. I know I said I would not believe him that he did not hate me but a small part of me wants to so badly but if Rebecca existed then the answer was yes, he did hate me, even if he refused her family’s money.

Well while he is being nice, I may as well take advantage of it, guess I will find out who’s side he is on with this. Well here goes…..

Finally looking up I ask with dread. “Um Mr Walch, could I work on my project during lunch? I won’t be a nuisance I promise.” I pleaded, if I could it would give me time to relax and maybe finish it today.

Please. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease.

He seemed to be debating it. “That’s fine you can work during lunch. Just make sure you clean up afterwards, that is all I ask.” He smiled. “Thank you, sir, and do not worry I will clean up after. Thank you again.” I said, happiness floods my heart, I thanked him again before turning to leave. I am so glad he agreed to it, at least I can be free of my bullies for one afternoon.

Hmmmmmm maybe if I work well and keep the place tidy, he will let me do it again? Well, I will find out later on I guess.

My mood has picked up again thanks to that interaction, I wish it could have improved my headache though it would have saved me a trip to the nurse’s office. I headed there before my next lesson needing some much-needed pain relief from the now skull-crushing pain in my head. Thankfully the halls were empty with only absolute silence filling them, even my footsteps could barely be heard. It could not be helped I was trying not to shake my body with heavy steps since the vibrations were assaulting my injured head, at snail pace I make my way there

I arrived at the nurse’s office panting with beads of cold sweat forming on my forehead. My headache had intensified to the point where I could barely open my eyes. I weakly knock on the door but there was no answer.

Oh no please let her be in there, please.

Panicked I tried knocking again but the door disappeared I couldn’t see it anymore, my eyes closed then nothing.