Fake Love

Chapter Seven

“Well Ryan, what are you in for? I managed to get out.

“Ha ha. Well, I broke my arm badly after I fell out of a tree.” He chuckled lifting his left arm that was encased in a cast.

Wait what?

“Why were you in a tree? Are you part squirrel or something?” I giggled.

“Oh yeah of course I am. Why do think I’m so cute.” He said making a v shape under his chin with his fingers, elbows in the air with one of his legs popped up like a flamingo. I burst out laughing it hurt to laugh but that was just so funny. “Shush or the nurse will hear you.” He whisper-shouted. “Speak for yourself, you’re laughing as well.” I snickered covering my mouth, his response was a shrugged with a cheeky smirk.

I like him maybe he will be my friend.

“Is it ok if I sit?” He gestured to the end of the bed. I agreed so he walked to the bed and sat down. “So why are you here?” He asked once he made himself comfortable. “Well, um……some guys at school kind of attacked me.” I whispered, his cheeky smile now replaced with a mixture of shock and anger. “What do you mean they attacked you?”

Oh, he’s mad really mad, great I ruined the fun yet again.

I remained silent refusing to answer, in response to my silence he crossed his arms under his chest and drummed his fingers against his cast. The only sound in the room was his fingers drumming and it was driving me crazy. Neither of us were backing down, he wanted to know what happened while I did not want him to know. In truth I am ashamed of how weak I am to just let it happen, but his outrage is touching. It was nice. With a heavy sigh I yield and decide to tell him.

“Alright I’ll tell you.” Pleased with the outcome he relaxed and laid his hands on his lap and gestured for me to start when I was read. I took a deep cleansing breath then began my tale of how I ended up here.

“So, at school there is this girl named Rebecca and for some reason she hates me. I don’t know why but she does, any way her and her “friends”, well I think they are more followers than actual friends or whatever they tend to bully me badly. They also have a group of boys as friends thanks to her boyfriend Jason, and since he’s a jock so are his friends. But what he doesn’t knows that she cheats on him with all of his friends, apparently, she does all sorts with them and in return they do her bidding, if not she pays them since she’s rich.”

“Hold on, so she gives them bjs and handouts and they do whatever she wants?”

“Yeah. But I’m not the only one who knows yet she doesn’t bully them just me.” I closed me eyes to stem the tears that threatened to spill over so I don’t cry in front of Ryan. I don’t want him to tease me and call me a baby like the others. Something warm was stroking my face, I opened them back up only to be greeted with Ryan’s face. His eye full of concern and I think sympathy. He was wiping the tears that had escaped, his touch was so warm and felt safe, comforting and…….like home.

“Don’t cry Hailey. I’m sorry I asked. If it’s too much, then you don’t have to say anymore.” He said in the softest way ever, his soft tone brought more silent tears to my eyes. “No, I’m ok. It feels good to be able to voice it out if you know what I mean.” I feel shy all of a sudden, he smiled back at me then got off the bed to get me some tissue. Ryan handed the tissue to me so I could dry my eyes and blow my nose, I asked for a bit more to wipe away the remaining tears, but he refused. Instead, he used his thumb and gently wiped them away, I did not complain his touch is just so warm I swear I could get addicted to this.

If his hands felt like this, I wonder what a hug would be like?

The sound of the door opening snapped me out of my thoughts.

Crap the night nurse!

We looked at each other in slight panic but his panic was quickly replaced by a mischievous smirk. He dashed for the ensuite bathroom. Before closing the door, he put his index finger over his mouth then closed the door. As the nurse walked in, I closed my eyes and pretended to still be sleeping. Footsteps filled the room becoming louder as she approached. The sound of buttons being pressed followed by beeping and a pen scribbling on paper. A few seconds later the footsteps retreated towards the door as she left the room. As soon as the latched clicked my eyes shot open to make sure she was gone.

“Ryan. Ryan she’s gone.” I whispered.

Ryan opened the bathroom door and strutted out with a Cheshire cat smile. A traitorous giggle escaped me which only made his smile bigger, he continued to strut towards his spot on the bed. Once comfortable he pulled the hood of his dressing gown over his head whispering, “I am ninja.” While throwing his hands up into different ninja signs. “Hehehe I like you Ryan you’re funny.” I told him genuinely with a matching grin.

How does he do that? The simplest thing makes me and smile and feel what I can only describe as endless happiness. This is stupid why do I feel so attached like I don’t want him to ever leave me, the only good thing in my life right this moment even if it’s only temporary.

“I’m glad I can make you laugh; you have a pretty laugh and an even prettier smile.” He said bashfully. Heat filled my face and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

No one has ever complimented me like that before. Even when mother and father were mom and dad, they never said I was pretty ever. Ryan is so sweet if only we went to the same school, maybe things would have been different then. Maybe we could date or…WAIT. Stop that thought right there, do not pass go. He would never be interested in me so I may as well stop right there. But flirting and having a crush would be fine……right?

“Smooth Romeo very smooth. I bet you say that to all the girls, right?” I tired my hardest not to sound jealous but since I don’t get jealous often enough so, I don’t really know how to deal with the emotion.

Uuugh how can I be so jealous already I don’t even know the guy. I hope I did not hurt his feelings.

He crossed his arms smirking at me looking smug. “Why? Are you jealous Hay Hay? He accused.

WAIT! Hay Hay? What the hell.

“Hay Hay?

“Yeah, Hay Hay. That’s my nickname for you. If you don’t like it, I can stop and come up with a different one.” He said nervously, his fingers started to fidget with his cast.

Awwwww he is so cute when he’s nervous. Thinking about it I do like the name probably because he came up with it. Oh, dear lord I am officially a simp, either that or I am crushing extremely hard. Just hope I don’t crash and burn.

“No, I like it. It’s just no one has ever me a nickname not even my parents. So, it was just a bit unexpected.”

“Not even your friends?” He asked full of surprise, I shook my head. “I don’t have any.” I have said this multiple times in my head, out loud and even written it in my diary but this is the first time I ever felt……embarrassed. Ryan sat up from his position to move closer me near the head of the bed. He took my left hand in both of is since my right was full of needles. He cradled my hand like he was holding a delicate bird.

Wow the warmth radiating from them could lull me to sleep me to sleep and if I was a cat, I’d be a purring mess right now. Plus, I know that I am very young, and I don’t really know much but I could definitely get addicted to this.

“You do have a friend.”

“Who?”

I am so confused I blame his warmth it make me dumb dumb.

“Me.” He exclaimed proudly with THE brightest smile ever, it was so bright that it chased the darkness surrounding me away.

I’m not alone anymore.

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING*

I jumped out of sleep at the sound of the bell. I scrunched my eyes at the blinding light while my heart tried its hardest to break out my chest from fright. Once my eyes adjusted, I took a deep breath then laid back down while looking at the ceiling. My frightened heart calmed the moment the bell stopped; my head was grateful to say the least. It wasn’t hurting per say just a bit sensitive. I remained in the bed until nurse Joy said I could move, so I let my mind wonder but before it got a chance to venture, Ryan flooded every brain cell I had. A smile crept up my face at the thought of the funny boy I met last year.

My first love.

The numb feeling was replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling. As it grew the abyss faded back to the depths of my core while the warmth spread all around me, even my eyes no longer felt as dull. A few seconds more and the abyss had completely retreated, it was no match for the happiness that filled me entirely.

How can one memory make me so happy? Perhaps I could try finding him on social media? But it will be difficult since I never asked his surname. *Sigh* Guess all I can do hope or pray that I see him again one day. Well, I say pray loosely since I’m not a very religious person.

A knock on the door burst my happy little bubble bringing me back to reality. “Come in.” Said nurse Joy. I could hear the door open followed by footsteps, they passed my bed heading towards where I assumed was nurse joys desk.

“Afternoon Jason, have you brought Hailey’s homework?”

“Yes. Here you go.”

The sound of papers rustling filled the room, it sounded like a lot of paperwork, clearly a form of punishment from the teachers that hate me. “Thank you, Jason.”

Why isn’t he leaving?

“Is there something else you need Jason?”

“How is she?”

Shock. All I feel is shock and my body has frozen along with it. It takes only two seconds for my brain to catch up on what has been asked before I become angry and confused.

WHAT! WHAT DOES HE CARE? Yeah, he found me and brought me into the infirmary but when I’m being pushed around in the hallways or getting things dumped on me in changing rooms or cafeteria, he does nothing and says nothing. All he does is watch in silence. Forget angry right now I am morally outraged, but what is the point of staying angry nothing is going to be done about so why should I waste my precious energy getting angry. I should be doing my best to conserve whatever energy I can get to tolerate this hell of a life I live.

“She had a mild concussion but she’s sleeping it off right now.” She explained, someone sighed in what sounded like relief.

“So, she’s going to be alright?” Jason asked sounding I think worried.

What the hell. Why does he care or better still why does he sound like he cares.

“Yes, Jason she will be fine. A mild concussion can take at least seven to ten days to recover from. So hopefully she can take a week off school to fully recover properly.” Explained nurse Joy.

Well, that is not happening. I would rather die a thousand deaths then spend a whole week at that shelter. As much as my parents hate me I do not think they want me dead….yet at least. Because without me they won’t have their luxuries meaning they will have stop depending on the little hand out they get from their benefits and will have to get normal 9-5 jobs. And they have no desire for any of that because and I quote “We deserve luxury because we worked hard for it, and it’s all gone because of you so you will provider for us. Even if you have to sell you body you WILL provide us with the luxuries we deserve.” And sell my body they have already done, and I refuse to do that again unless they beat me within an inch of my life again because I couldn’t send them on a month long five-star cruise two years ago. I learnt my lesson so I will do what I must to keep them happy. But at least the money they got from auctioning off my virginity is still going so I only have to use my money for bill, pills, cigarettes, alcohol and food, so silver linings, I guess.

An icy shudder ran down my spine at the memory of the auction the made five hundred million dollars, to which my parents have splashed out half of it over the last three years. I just hope it lasts until I turn eighteen then I can leave and never look back. The memory sours my mood, I could feel my happiness slipping away until I felt nothing.

“Oh, in the state I found her in I thought it was way worse than that. I’m glad it is not as severe as I thought.” He breathed. “Thanks for the update nurse, Joy. I’m going to head off to lunch now, oh do you need me to bring her some food?”

What the actual f**k. Oh god now I’m swearing, yes in my head but I never swear.

“No that won’t be necessary I think she brought her own food but thank you for offering. I am sure she would appreciate the offer.”

No, I wouldn’t and don’t because I am pretty sure he would poison it with his girlfriends help. I’m not convinced that him helping me wasn’t part of some greater plan thought out by that psycho.

“Ok if she needs anything let me know even if it’s to walk her home. I’m gonna head off to lunch now.” He said and turned to leave; he slowed down as he passed my bed then stopped. I think he was about to peek in but must have thought against it and walked off towards the door.

I don’t like this it feels off but then again that could just be my paranoia and the fact that I trust no one. Well except maybe Henry and Ryan but that’s different.

“Jason one more thing before you go.” His footsteps ceased; I could see him turn to face the nurse judging by his shadow.

“Do not tell any of your friends or any other student where she is. I do not trust any of them and I will know if certain ones find out because they would have found out through you or certain teachers. She has been hurt enough and as long as she is in this room she is not to be touched, if she is I will report everyone who knows about her condition, is that understood?”

Wow, so she is on my side…maybe. Time will tell.

After a second of silence the door opened Jason exited then closed the door, I assumed he made some form of physical gesture, but I have no idea. It was quite in the room now apart from the sound of key being pushed on a keyboard. I decided it was long enough to pretend I had just awakened so with a deep breath I sat up slowly, exhaled then removed the blanket so I could swing my legs over the edge of the bed. Nurse joy must have heard the rustling because before I knew it she was opening the curtain to greet me with a smile.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Umm I’m not sure, a few minutes maybe.” Ugh my voice all raspy from sleeping.

“How are you feeling now after your nap?”

After clearing my throat, I answered, “Well I do feel a lot better with the extra rest, but I still feel tired.”

“That is to be expected, just take it easy and make sure you rest over the weekend and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated ok. Now it will take up to seven days for you to fully recover ten days max. during this time do not and I repeat do NOT take any painkillers or any form of sedatives like sleeping pills or Valium. If you do this could prohibit your recovery or make things worse for you.” She explained.

“So, if I get a headache, I can’t take anything?”

I know she said I cannot take anything for the pain, but I can’t go back to the hospital, at this point I may as well start living there and pay rent.

“No, if you get any head pain, dizziness or nausea go straight to the hospital. Because the pain could potentially be caused by other things in effect of the concussion, the painkillers could potentially make it worse that’s if you don’t throw them back up.” I just nodded my head.

So, it is not the easy fix I was hoping for. Oh well.

“Alright then, is there anything else I need to look out for?” I asked hopefully.

“Nope. Just the things I have already mentioned.”

“Ok. Is it alright for me to leave now or do I need to stay a little longer?” She shook her head no and told me I am free to leave. So, I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder then headed back to the art room to finish my project.

“Oh Hailey, I almost forgot your homework.” She said breathlessly from chasing me down the hall.

“Oh yeah, thank you for bringing it to me nurse Joy.” She handed me the work and I placed it neatly in my bag. I thanked her again and then continued my way to the art room.

I am so distracted today I hope I don’t mess up my project.

When I arrived the room was empty which meant I could continue my project without being disturbed. I walked to my usual spot to sit down and eat my lunch. I thought to refuel before getting to work since I am starving right now plus my body needs it to heal. I was halfway through my lunch when I realised, I was not alone. I noticed Mr Walch sipping what I assume to be either coffee or tea while reading a book about the renaissance artwork. All I could see was his side profile from where I sat. I would be lying if I said he wasn’t attractive, but unlike most of the girls at school I wasn’t crushing on him. The only person I have ever crushed on is Ryan and it never truly went away. It is funny how I had not thought of him in so long and now every time I pass out or freak out, he is all I seem to dream about. I wonder why that is? I shrug the thought away for another time and concentrate on finishing my meal instead.

Once I was finished, I placed the containers back into my bag stretched then collected the oil paints needed along with the canvas I was sketching on. I placed the paints on the table and the canvas on the easel, then I went to grab the brushes and the pallet to put the paint on. With everything now at the ready I began painting. The moment I made the first stroke my worries began to melt away. It is one of the main reasons why I love art, it helps me vent and express myself. It also helps me to process certain feelings since I don’t have anyone to turn to, but most of all it brings me peace and tranquillity. I focus solely on my painting, each brush stroke brining it to life. As I finished the foundation that being the background and hilltop, it seemed familiar like a forgotten dream. As I gazed at my work trying to figure out why it was so familiar, I could feel something tugging at the back of my head slowly making its way into the light. Just as it was about to be revealed forward the bell rang making me jump. The memory retreated to the shadows of my mind where forgotten things reside.

“You know you are a very talented artist.” Said Mr Walch causing me to jump again.

I am so skittish today. *sigh*

“Sorry I did not mean to scare you,” He said with worry in his eyes.

Why is he worried?

“It’s fine, I’m just very distracted today. And thank you, I really like art so for someone to think I am talented it’s….nice.” I said timidly, I know it wasn’t a proper compliment, but it still made me blush, which is stupid and inappropriate considering he is my teacher.

“I meant it Hailey; you have talent, and I am looking forwards to seeing your finished piece.” He said gently, his words somehow made my heart flutter seeing as I don’t get many positive things said to me. “By the way how are you feeling?” His question confused me until I remembered the nurse had told all the teachers about my visit to her office meaning he now knew the truth unless he didn’t know. “Umm thank you. And umm I’m ok I guess, like my head doesn’t hurt anymore if that’s what you’re asking about.” He most likely is but I need to check so I don’t seem like a fool.

“Yes, that is why I am asking. All the teachers were informed about your concussion so that we could keep an eye on you. Just in case.” He said with a small smile, I nodded my head then started putting my art stuff away. Once everything was cleaned and put away, I washed my hands, grabbed my bag and headed to the gym. Before exiting the class, I was about to thank Mr Walch for letting work during lunch and see if he would let me do it again, but he beat me to it. “Hailey I just want to let you know before you head out that in future if you want you can come here during lunch to work on your artwork, any homework you may have or if you just want to hide away from everyone then you can.” I froze on to the spot, surely, he can’t be serious. “Really?” I replied barely above a whisper too scared to really answer in case he was lying to me. “Really.” Said Mr Walch all serious, looking me dead in the eye with a gently smile and for extra confirmation he nodded his head.

I can’t believe this, so many emotions are running wild happiness, gratitude, relief, excitement, joy. I mean I could break down and cry right now if my brain could stop short circuiting not to mention the overwhelming urge to kiss this man for such kindness. I mean at this rate I’d happily entertain him if it meant I could hide here every lunch time until I graduated. Oh, good lord I truly am a broken individual, but it can’t be helped since it is what I am used to. Guess there is no helping me.

I just stared at him in disbelief until it sank in that he really meant it, at that point my brain finally kicked in. “Thank you, thank you thank you Mr Walch. I can’t begin to express how much this means to me.” My voice strained from holding back a dam of tears threatening to burst open. “You do not need to thank me Hailey, I know school isn’t easy for you so if I can make it a little easier for you then I will.” He said with an emotion I was not familiar with in his eyes but before I could decipher the foreign emotion it was replaced with empathy. Which was weird because in my experience not many men had empathy. “By the way I figured you were late because of your incident with the stairs. So again, I would like to apologise especially since I now know the truth and was completely oblivious to your suffering.” He said with his eyes downcast at the ground while rubbing the back of his neck as he apologised again only, this time he looked a bit ashamed and embarrassed. It was strange seeing a teacher looking so humble, it gave me a weird sense of power knowing that he was in the wrong AND he was genuinely sorry about it. I did not like this feeling in the slightest, hopefully I could avoid it like the plague. “It’s fine I did not want anyone to know the real reason I was late so don’t worry.” I said with my signature fake smile, he gave me a sad look and opened his mouth to say something but was halted by the bell. “You should get going to you next class before you’re really late.” I agreed, thanked him again then left. I speed walked to the gym with many curious thoughts running through my head.

What was that look in his eyes before? I know for a fact no one has ever looked at me like that uuuuuuuugh I should know or at least I feel like I should know. What was he about to say? Whatever it was gave me the sense that it was going to be heartfelt but that wouldn’t make any sense seeing as we have never had a conversation like that before, but he could just really feel sorry for me. but that wouldn’t really explain why he is being so nice to me? No one has offered to shelter me from the horde of bullies in school, I know Mrs Willows has always offered support for my mental health but never to actually protect me. Then again, I never really gave her the chance to. But she has this way of making me confess things and I am scared I will confess all the things my parents have done, and I can’t do that. But it can’t be helped since I trust no one in this school not even Mrs Willows and she has done absolutely nothing to me. Thanks to Rebecca and her wealth well her parents’ wealth she has the faculty in her pockets, well her parents’ pockets. Unless she only has a few and not all but I’m not sure. It would explain why only some of the teachers hate me but who knows. I guess the biggest question of all is why does she hate me so much?

I deliberate this on my way to gym, I send a silent prayer for myself praying that Mrs Jones will not make me take part in gym today since if I get hit in the head I might perish, which wouldn’t be so bad only downside is I won’t see Ryan again. That thought alone makes me want to try and stay alive a little longer. It is a little sad and a bit weird how I am trying to stay alive for someone I met once and most likely has forgotten me, but since I don’t have much to live for, I guess clinging to hope is better than nothing.