The Scent of Love

Chapter 19

Beth waits for Sean at the elevator, because the thought of going up by herself makes her queasy. 

“It’s not as bad as it seems,” she tells him once they’re in the elevator, because what she wants to say is I’m sorry and it’s awful and please, Alpha, make it better. “Thank you for coming over though.”

“Of course,” he says, his expression guarded. Beth swallows and ignores the panicked race of her heart in her ears, the nausea swelling in her belly with each step they take toward her place. She unlocks her apartment door, not expecting the lingering scent of Chris, of her distress, of the bleach Helen had used, to be as bad as it was when she’d left that morning. 

It’s worse, somehow. Or maybe she’s just so used to Sean’s scent that anything else is jarring and awful by comparison. There’s a sourness to it, when it hits her. She freezes, one step into the apartment, assaulted by the sharp odor of bleach and the poorly covered scent Chris left behind. 

Beth almost steps backward, out of the apartment, out of the entire building, but Sean’s blocking her way. His scent seeps into her from behind, warm and rich and wonderful. It still doesn’t relax her. 

“I think I—” she cuts off because she doesn’t have the words to describe how much she hates this. “I need to…” she doesn’t know. Leave. Bleach everything again, even though she’s allergic. Cook something strongly scented and light every candle in the house. 

Vomit. 

“You had another Alpha here.” 

It’s not even a statement. It’s an accusation. 

Beth cringes and steps further into the room, giving herself space to turn around. Sean’s face is tight, tense, like maybe he had more to say, but didn’t want to out of respect. 

“I…” it’s not what you think. “Chris came here, yes.” 

Sean’s expression flies through about six emotions, before settling into those tight lines again. She wonders if he even remembers Chris, at this point. “Is he—” that didn’t appear to be the question he wanted to ask, so he tries again. “Do you… want to stop our arrangement?” 

The words ricochet in her head for what feels like an eternity. “Is… that what you want?” She asks. Her voice seems far away. 

Something in his face twitches. “If you’re seeing another Alpha, I assume you don’t need my assistance with your heats anymore.” 

She has to do something with her hands, to keep from grabbing him and shaking him. It ends up being nothing, just her wringing her hands like an anxious old woman. “I never said I was seeing him.”

“So he was just here leaving his scent on everything for what, shits and giggles?” Sean actually looks angry now, his face starting to redden. “You only smell like him because you were playing Twister?”  

It hits her like a slap in the face. This, this is what things have come to— no matter what she tells him, he’s already made up his mind about her, about what happened. She has no way to convince him otherwise, no proof to give him. He already wants to break things off. 

It’s what you deserve, that traitorous voice in her head snarls. Only good, clean omegas get happily ever after with their alphas. You’re a dirty w***e. You get whatever you can find. Beggars, choosers. 

And then, despite everything— 

You should have stayed with Henry. 

She swallows as she looks at Sean, reality finally seeping into the hare-brained fantasy she’d had. Of course he didn’t want to make things better. He isn’t her alpha. He’s barely even her friend. He’s just… he’s just him. 

Her body feels far away. No longer truly a part of her.

“You’re right,” she says, as the Omega hindbrain in her head screeches at her to stop, and that other, vile little voice chants the same mantra— you should have stayed with Henry. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come over. I was hoping to— to talk, to—” to tell you the truth about last night, to beg you to scent me, to get rid of this awful smell. She swallows again, the words getting stuck and just sinking back down again. Her breathing becomes heavy and difficult. “Never mind. I just— never mind.” Shaking her head, she closes her eyes, because she honestly can’t stand to look at him. “Just go.” 

She turns on her heel and, ignoring him, begins to light candles around the room. Once again, she has to binge clean everything, to try and scour out the smell of someone who makes her sick, who makes her want to scream and cry for her Alpha, the Alpha that doesn’t want her, that she doesn’t deserve anyway. The Alpha that ignored her calls and never came to rescue her. The Alpha she’s been in love with for god knows how long— stupid, stupid, stupid—

She doesn’t realize she’s started crying until she tries to light a candle, and it’s too blurry for her to find the wick. 

Stupid, she tells herself, rubbing the tears away with the heel of her hand. Stupid tears. Stupid candle. Stupid Sean. 

“Why are you so upset?” Derision colors his words, and Beth feels hot tears well even faster. She didn’t hear him leave, but she doesn’t expect him to still be here, either. “You’ve got a new Alpha, you don’t need—“

“I don’t have another Alpha,” she snaps. The words come out borderline hysterical. She scowls, trying to somehow stop the flow of tears, to no avail. “Not for his lack of trying, believe me.” 

“So then why do you still smell like him?”

Shit— Sean is so close, right beside her, growling into her ear. Beth can’t help the shiver that runs through her body, but she powers through it, if only to tell him what she’s wanted to tell him since last night, to grit out the words that make her want to get sick all over the floor. 

“Some Alphas will do whatever they want, regardless of what the Omega says.”

Her words seem to echo off of the walls. She finally lights the candle, her hands shaking. She can still smell Chris’s scent underneath the sweet scents, but the bleach and the candles together are stronger. It eases her a little— only marginally, but it’s better than before, at least. 

Sean hasn’t moved. Beth looks up at him, opening her mouth to tell him to leave, but stops mid breath. 

He’s livid. He must be. His face is completely, frighteningly blank, his fists clenched at his sides. His eyes are fixed on a spot above her head, but there’s a heat in them that shakes her to the core. She feels suddenly minuscule, too tiny to even stand in his presence. 

Did he realize what she meant, she wonders? And if so, does he even care? Does he understand just how weighted those words were? 

His scent spikes. Beth has to grasp the edge of the table beside her to keep from leaning into him. She’s never felt so comforted in her entire life. 

“What did he do?” The Alpha tone is there in his voice. Beth’s body responds to it instantly. 

“Nothing,” she says, and then winces at her own lie. “He tried to kiss me, got a little handsy. I told him I didn’t want him and I pushed him away.” She doesn’t mention how he used his Alpha voice to try to force her, or how she screamed until the neighbors came in. “It wasn’t that bad.”

He can smell her lie, or the distress she’s in thinking about what happened— something, because he growls, backing her against the table. “I’m not in the mood for lies, Beth. What did he do?” 

Beth recoils. She doesn’t mean to, but it crashes over her, his anger and that tone, and everything that happened— 

She bursts into tears. 

The shock on Sean’s face would have been immensely gratifying if she’d been able to feel anything besides completely devastated. She raises her hands and shoves him away, desperate for space— and he moves, backing off immediately. He puts a good three feet between them. 

“Don’t you dare use your Alpha voice on me!” Beth screams. “How f*****g dare you? What right do you have to demand any answers from me?” She sucks in a breath, and charges him before she can stop herself. “You didn’t even show up!” 

Sean stares at her as she thumps him on the chest with her fists. She can barely control her muscles from how hard she’s crying, and the effect is lost considering she barely puts any force into it. She does it again, but her sobs take up all of her energy, and she just ends up collapsing against his chest. “You didn’t come!” She sobs. “Why didn’t you come?” 

There’s a pause— and then, amazingly, his arms close around her. One of his hands threads into her hair, the other wrapped around her waist, squeezing her against him. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. Beth almost doesn’t hear it. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand, I—”

“Helen called you four times!” Beth’s words are muffled against his chest, but he falls silent when she speaks. “How could you not come? Why didn’t you come?”

He only squeezes her more tightly. “You screamed, and she said she was calling me, and you said—” he swallows. “You said no. You said you wanted your alpha. I thought…” he doesn’t say what he thought. 

“I wanted you!” She clenches his tee shirt in her fists. “You are my alpha! Who the f**k else would I want?”

She can feel every muscle in Sean’s body go still. 

Idiot. He’s going to push her away again. They agreed this was only an arrangement for her heat. He doesn’t want her. 

The seconds tick by at a snail's pace. Then, when she’s absolutely certain he’s going to push her away, he finally moves. 

Beth has always loved being carried. There’s something comforting in being cradled in someone’s arms. It feels like safety, like home. 

Sean presses his lips to her forehead, holding her tightly against his chest. “Clearly, I didn’t make that obvious enough to fend Chris off.”

The way he says it. That deep Alpha rumble, possessive, and strangely reverent. Beth shivers, and feels her tears start to taper off. Arousal rapidly begins to replace her anger as Sean’s scent spikes. 

“Something to remedy,” Sean continues, carrying her to her bed. 

Only… 

Despite her arousal, Beth’s not sure she actually wants to do anything with Sean right now. She’s not sure she can. 

Except he just sits down, with her in his lap, and presses his lips to the gland on her neck. “Will you tell me what happened last night?”

Oh. 

Oh. 

Beth quiets as his words rumble over her scent gland. His hand snakes around her wrist, rubbing the gland there— and even though it’s the same touch Helen used on her, it’s infinitely more soothing, coming from him. 

“I…” She doesn’t know if she can actually talk about it yet. “I can… try.” 

“Take your time.” He moves, laying down and arranging her on top of him, cupping her head against his neck. His scent fills her, musky and rich and wonderful, and it’s the first time she thinks she’s relaxed since the moment she mistakenly opened the door to Chris the previous night. 

It takes Sean almost an hour to pry the truth out of her, but once he manages to, Beth can feel him vibrating with anger under her hands. She tells him everything about the previous night, her face burrowed against his neck, where she doesn’t have to see his expression. He keeps one hand possessively on her mating gland, stroking it to calm her whenever she gets too worked up, until she can speak again. 

“I don’t want anyone else to scent you again,” He murmurs against her temple. 

“I don’t either,” Beth murmurs. 

“I’d lock you up in my house and keep you to myself if that wasn’t so old fashioned and weird.”

She tenses against him, and automatically, his fingers start to brush over her mating gland. “I’m not going to cut off any of my friends, even if—”

“What?” Sean sounds just as offended by that as she feels. She pushes herself up slightly to meet his eyes, and he looks vaguely offended, too. “No. You should have friends. Lots of friends. As many as you want. I don’t want to take you away from them.” He winces, his fingers pressing ever so slightly more firmly against the gland on her back. She automatically starts to purr. “I may just get a little… territorial if any of your friends are alphas.”

That annoying little omega voice takes over her mouth for a moment, distracted by the gentle pressure on her back. “As you should.” 

Sean laughs, and the smile on his handsome face is more relieving than his anger on her behalf. “You’re only saying that because I’m touching this,” he says, emphasizing his words by pressing on her mating gland. 

Beth sucks in a breath, and, because he’s absolutely right, nods. Sean chuckles again. 

They’re silent for a few moments. Beth lays her head back on his chest, soothed by his heartbeat, steady and strong in his chest. 

“I don’t want this to be just your heats anymore,” Sean says after a while. “This... whatever, between us.”

“I think it’s called a relationship, Sean,” Beth teases. Her voice grows serious when she continues. “I don’t, either.” 

The hand that was just on her mating gland slides up into her hair. “Is it a relationship?” He asks. 

Beth nods against his chest. “Yeah. If you want it to be, I mean.” 

He pulls her head back gently and presses his lips against hers. “I do.” 

Well, she thinks, as something sweet and hopeful blooms in her chest. That’s settled, then.