The treasure of the Goddess

The Luna

John lay silent in his bed. He looked over at Bao curled into a tiny ball in his large bed. She was lightly breathing and he could hear that her heart rate was slowed, a sure sign that she was asleep. John envied her ability to quickly sleep after the events that unfolded that day.

Nothing had gone to plan, or at least his plan. He thought that tonight he would be marking and mating his Luna. And if he was honest with himself, he only ever imagined his Luna to be Layla. He was surprised he wasn’t more disappointed that she wasn’t but he figured that had something to do with the mate bond.

But the mate bond had surprised him as well. Elder Jameson had explained that the mate bond would be different with him than with other mated wolves. Because of the situation and the importance of the decision in front of him, the physical pull and force to physically mate that usually is associated with newly found mates was held at bay by the Goddess until he made his choice. Once he did, if he chose to accept Bao as his mate, that need would instantly hit and Axel would return and guide him to finish the process. When John asked him what would happen if he chose to reject Bao, Elder Jameson with sadness in his eyes, informed him he didn’t know because that had never happened before. He had a feeling the consequences would be great.

John already knew at least one consequence. Axel has warned him. He would lose his wolf. Or at least he would lose Axel. Maybe he would be gifted with another wolf so he could keep his rank as alpha. That was a big part of what was stopping John from keeping to his faith and trusting in the bond. If he chose to accept and mate Bao, he would lose the Alpha title. His father had already told him this and Alpha Mac was known to be a man of his word.

John didn’t care about the power that came with being an alpha, but it was all he knew how to be. If he lost his title, if he was no longer an Alpha, what would he be? He loved his pack and he couldn’t imagine his life without their respect and support. He had no idea what his purpose in life would be if he was not able to lead and protect those he loved. Choosing Bao would be costing him everything he wanted and worked for.

But rejecting Bao would go against everything he believed in and he would lose his faith in the bond and the Moon Goddess. He felt like no matter what he chose, he was losing a huge part of who he was. If he chose wrong, he could hurt his pack. He couldn’t imagine that him doing what he needed to too maintain his Alpha rank would hurt the pack, but if it cost his pack the favor of the Goddess, it could hurt the pack. But then again, his pack was the strongest in the world. Not having the Goddess favor would not change their strength.

And from the other side, if he chose Bao, he would be true to his faith and to the Goddess wishes. His pack would stay in her favor but physically, Bao was weak. She talked about her defenses but it was foolish to think she could not easily be overpowered by not only someone who wanted to hurt her but him and the pack as well. She was the size of a child and once mated, she would be an easy target for any enemy. He understood that her size was good now because it didn’t bring her to attention of those who might want to hurt a future Luna of a strong pack, but he couldn’t hide her forever and once she was known, he could only see her size as a danger, not just for him and his pack but for her as well.

Bao, she didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t know if it was the mate bond or just the fact that they were going through this together, but he didn’t want to see her get hurt. At least anymore than she already was. He wanted to protect her and he didn’t see any way of doing that no matter what he chose. This wasn’t fair. She was innocent and she was going to either be hurt or put in danger. How could the Moon Goddess be so cruel to her?

A single tear ran down his face at the thought of Bao being hurt by him no matter how hard he tried to protect her from pain. He already felt like he failed her and he wasn’t even sure if he would accept her yet.

As the tear fell, he watch an icy white hand catch it. Bao had woken up and he was so stuck in his thoughts he didn’t even notice. He looked at her but was overwhelmed with the sadness of his, no, their situation.

This tiny little creature crawled into his lap and took his face in her tiny white hands. As he looked into her eyes, he saw a level of caring and compassion that he never thought existed. Instantly, he felt as if he could share his soul with her without judgment and she would understand him and his struggles.

“John, please, I’m here for you to be your strength when you are weak. I have more strength than you realize and I love you so much. My love, please trust in me. If you are too weak to carry this burden, put it on my back and I will happily carry it for you. I know you are scared that I am too weak, but I am strong and I can carry not only myself, but you, if you will only let me.”

John stared at her in awe. Here she was, seen as tiny and weak, coming to him with all his physical strength, telling him she would carry him if he needed her too. It was simple words, but for someone who was raised to highly value physical strength, those words hit him like a ton of bricks.

Before he could think, he heard his voice telling her what was in his heart. He wanted her to know why this was such a difficult decision for him and he wasn’t only thinking of himself or his pack but he was honestly concerned for her as well. He couldn’t say if he loved her but he could honestly say he cared and he needed her to know that and know that was a huge part of his decision.

As she sat listening to his words, she never once spoke, never once passed judgement, never once gave advice. She simply listened. When John was through, even though nothing had changed, he felt a huge burden was lifted from his shoulders. He no longer felt alone. Yes, his wolf was still silent, but he had Bao. And he suddenly realized that for him, that was enough.