He wants me, Only me

Preface

(extract from future chapter)

Dear Diary

I feel swallowed up by this darkness. Everywhere I look I see him. I feel eyes on me all the time. I’m to afraid to go outside, because what if he is waiting for me. I’m to afraid to be at home because what if he is here…again. I can’t even bring myself to think about what he’s done, here in my own room with my mother just sleeping down the hall. I’m always in his reach and the police was no help at all. They said I did it to myself…there was no evidence that someone else was in the room. Now I’m seen as a crazy person. I’m delusional…I’m paranoid! Maybe I am. I don’t want to trust anyone and I feel like someone is out to get me that is the definition of paranoia. No I can’t let this darkness beat me, that is what he wants. He wants to break me. He want me and only me. That is what the poems say and what his sick gifts symbolizes. Why is this happening to me. Why won’t he just leave me alone. It feels like my reality is distorted.

I wipe the tears from my face. I feel so drained. The only thing that makes me feel safe is Shane and he can’t be with me every second of every day. He wants to protect me so badly, but I’m afraid that it’s to late for me to be saved. The shadow that lurks around me already has his claws in me. I’ve lost weight and I’ve become even paler. What does Shane see in me anymore, can he really love someone who has become a shell of the girl she use to be. A girl that is afraid of her own shadow, a girl that is being swallowed up by the darkness of her own fears, doubts and insecurities.

I need to be saved, I need help…

I need Shane