A Way Out

CHAPTER 2

I shot up from my bed feeling really scared and tired. I was sweating profusely, traumatized at what I had just experienced the terrible nightmare that decided to show its face in my not so peaceful sleep. I had dreamt of my aunt. On normal basis, dreaming of Aunt Shelby was something normal for me but this night, it was different and it was terrifying. ‘I was all alone at home and my aunt came in she repeated what she had done earlier. It was just like a sense of déjà vu. Then all of a sudden, everywhere became dark and a female silhouette came out from the shadows. I squinted my eyes and managed to see who it was. Mother. She was finally here; she would finally see what was going on. She would know about my pain and Aunt Shelby would go away forever. But something wasn’t right she had this sly smile on her face which made me scared. She walked close to me and bent down to my life. I got a smack across the face and I began to shake she repeated her sister’s routine, she r***d me’ I still couldn’t get over the nightmare and before I knew it, I was hitting my head on the wall above my bed I wanted to stop but I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to stop because it was hurtful but regardless of the pain, my mind and brain kept telling me to go on, giving me different reasons why I shouldn’t stop why I should hurt myself and not stop. And I listened, I had to they spoke the truth. They were right I was worthless, they were right nobody cared not even my parents, I was a burden I was filthy their words were truthful and so I couldn’t stop. Each hit had a reason and each reason made me hate myself, I failed. I suddenly heard my door creak open and mother worked in. she gasped in fear at the sight and ran towards me. She held my legs and kept moving her lips but I couldn’t form any words. Instead, I squirmed away from her touch and kept on banging my head. She slapped me and I had a sense of déjà vu. I ignored the sting on my face and kept on hitting. She slipped her hand between my head and the wall and tried pushing me away but I didn’t budge. Instead, I hit my head against my finger making her whine but she still didn’t take her hands off. I could see the tears streaming down her face because of the night light shining dimly on her. I couldn’t take it anymore, I failed I began seeing in blurs, my head banging. Soon after the struggle, I let the darkness come over me and I felt at peace.

I opened my eyes and shut them back. The light was stinging them, they were heavy and itchy. I felt like I fell down from the top of a staircase, my head was banging and I was feeling a little dizzy. I began opening my eyes again but this time slowly so that I could adapt to the light. I took in my surrounding, it was white. I then rubbed my eyes with my hands as I couldn’t bear the itch. There was a tube connected to my wrist. I traced it and got to a transparent bag filled with yellow liquid. I tried sitting up but I hissed when the pain in my head attacked. Just as I hissed, I noticed a movement at the corner of my eye. It was mum. She looked really tired, there was tears stain on her cheeks and eye bags under her eyes. Her hair had gone all haywire on her head and there was drool on her jaw. At this point, I had no other options than to feel sorry for her even though I felt betrayed and I didn’t trust. I knew that I never trusted her before, I never trusted anybody but I didn’t know why I felt betrayed. She didn’t hurt me physically, it was just a dream. I told myself that a couple of times but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it. She hurried towards me and gave me a cup of water which I hesitantly but greedily drank. My once raspy and coarse throat now felt really calm and relaxed. “Why did you do that?” mom asked. I knew that question was going to come up but I didn’t expect it to be too soon. She didn’t even ask me how I was feeling, she just wanted to know my reason, then she would either snap at me or act like the caring mother she isn’t. I knew she didn’t want to be here, she was here for formality sake she had better things to do so she could just leave. I decided on not answering her and she put her bandaged hands on my skin while letting out a sigh. I knew she was getting frustrated because of my silence and I also knew the reason she decided to put her left bandaged hand on me. she wanted me to feel bad because I was the one who hurt her. She was trying to compel me to talk but I wasn’t going to. I quickly shifted away from her touch. She snapped. She began screaming at me but in a way that no one would here from outside. She ranted about how ungrateful I was to her, how I failed to understand her. She made me understand how she felt about me. The doctor eventually came but that was after she had calmed down and was trying her best to indirectly apologize. The doctor asked to see her in public and I just sat there as they left looking at the space in front of me. I began analyzing through everything, and I had only one question, why did I have to go through this pain? It could have been someone else. I knew I was selfish at that point but I didn’t care. All I wanted was for the pain to stop, for it to end. I wished I didn’t live no one cared and I didn’t matter to anyone. I remembered dada said that “the worst day of your life would be the day you found out that nobody cares and you don’t matter not even to the ones who call you dearest”. I felt something warm and wet move down through my cheek into my slightly open mouth. I touched my face to feel and know what the salty substance was. It was my tears. My eyes became as large as sauce pans in surprise and anger. I was stunned because I couldn’t remember the last time I cried and I was angry because my stupid brain failed me again. Whenever I wanted to cry, it never gave in but now I didn’t even know the reason for the tears and my brain decided that it would be great to let it all out. My mum suddenly barge into the room but I was not shocked or surprised by her actions. I just stared at my hands as I thought over the fact that I was crying. “Get ready we are going home” she said in her monotone voice as she tossed me a shirt and trouser. It was then I realized that I was in a hospital gown this made me wonder for how long I had passed out. I was hurt by what my mother did, she didn’t even notice that her only child was crying and in distress not that I even wanted her to know. I got changed and met her outside, making sure to keep myself at a safe distance away from her.

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We got home in one piece, mom didn’t ask any questions we just drove in an awkward silence. When we got out of the car, I tried my best to rush to my room ignoring the banging in my head so as to avoid mother’s question. She knew what I was doing and she didn’t stop me maybe she realized that all I needed was space. I got to my room and locked the door, I still didn’t feel safe around her. I never felt safe around her I never thought she would be around to save me I actually thought of her as more harm than help to me. With her mood swings and carelessness, she left me with no one to trust. I slid down the door making my head and back comfortable on the hard wood as I fell into my reverie. I began envisioning about my life, how I would have been if I wasn’t autistic how father wouldn’t have been disgusted with me that he had to leave, how I would have been a straight ‘A’ student, gone to a university abroad, studied law, been the best graduating student, get a job. I would have built a law firm, found a beautiful wife and have kids. But no, I had to be stuck with this disorder and therapy. These thoughts made me realize something, I couldn’t remember the last time I went for therapy, mum had stopped my therapy for years now and I didn’t know why. Didn’t she want me to get better? Because I’m sure that if I had gone for constant therapy I would be at least a little bit better. I was knocked out of my thoughts when I heard momma scream. What was wrong? Should I check on her? No, my conscience told me not to, so I sat rooted there. “Tobi!!!!” I heard momma scream from down the stairs, I was scared. What did I do wrong? I heard her heavy footsteps get closer to my room and soon, she began banging on the door. This was the time I dreaded the most, the time she decided that it was time for her to show her hatred towards me and begin to hurt me. I crawled away from the door and moved close to my bed, sitting just opposite the door watching intensely as it shifted slightly numerous time, waiting for it to crawl out of its hinges. I could hear mother’s voice again but this time it was shaky and it sounded scared and distressed. “Tobi please open the door momma just wants to talk to you” she said. Was she that desperate to hurt me that she would even result in begging. Her footsteps went away becoming lighter and I had hope that she would leave me alone to myself but that hope was cut short as her footsteps came back but this time with another sound. I could hear the jingling of something then it hit me like a ton of bricks to my head, she had a spare key to every room in the house. The door swung open and I saw my mother she looked worse than before and this time she held a camera. Did she just want to use me to get over her sad moment. She slowly walked closer to me as I scooted away from her. She soon caught up to me and bent down to my level what was happening why was she doing this. She suddenly pulled me into a tight but soft hug, at first I didn’t understand what was happening but then it dawned on me she was with the camera, tears were streaming down her cheeks and she looked sober. She found out she found out about my aunt she found out about the torture she now knew about what I was going through she was going to save me, she would help me she was going to make it stop. I could already picture my not so perfect life without any abuse and it was perfect. I wanted to leap for joy I wanted to hug her back I wanted to smile and say that everything would be okay but I didn’t. she pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. I took a glance of her eyes before looking down. They were blood shot red and I could see the veins popping out of her eye lids. “I’m sorry” she started, “I’m sorry for not paying attention, for not listening to you for not being there. It’s all my fault I trusted he blindly I… “She broke down again before she could finish her sentence. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright but I couldn’t help but feel that there was more trouble to come. There was this uneasy feeling in me that it wasn’t over and that it had just begun. She pulled me up gently and moved me to my bed. She laid me down and tucked me in. she stayed for about thirty minutes and I was glad these were one those times I wanted her to be around one of those times I was actually comfortable with her touches, one of those times I wanted her to chat with me and catch me up on things I’ve missed even if only her did the talking and I never talked back because I either had nothing to say or my mind wouldn’t let me. This was one of those times were my body, mind, soul, spirit, brain accepted her as my mother and friend these times were usually rare but I loved them. She kissed me on my head and said “don’t worry we would make her pay”. She left my room, leaving me to wander off in my thoughts, alone in my dimly lit room. How did she get the camera? Where did she find it my aunt had never been careless so how was she careless this time? not that I was complaining because her one time mistake was actually a good thing for me but I just had this stupid feeling in me that nothing was right and nothing would be. I soon fell asleep getting tired because of the bottled up emotions which I refused to let out.

I was woken by someone slightly tugging at my hand and I stirred my eyes open feeling the need to scurry far away from whoever the intruder was. I looked around the room for about five seconds trying to find out who touched me and if I was in trouble before my eyes stopped abruptly, as I watched my mother. I took in her appearance, she still looked distressed from the events and happenings of yesterday but she was a little bit more composed. With the way she was dressed I already knew that she had taken her bath and was probably ready to go to work. “Good morning she said to me” I was taken aback I couldn’t remember the last time she had courtesy of me. “Hey you need to get up now so you can get ready and we would go to the station to report”. It was as she said this, that it really dawned on me all that had been happening. A wave of sadness hit me and I carried my eyes down not even realizing that I had been staring into her eyes without any difficulty. “There is no need to be scared momma’s here and she won’t let anyone hurt you.” She put her hand on me again and I flinched, she got the message and left me alone, walking outside the door without another word. I wasn’t scared, not one bit I was just sad. Sad because of the fact that my life was as complicated as this, sad because my life was extremely twisted even when all I did was ‘eat, play sleep’. I was just sad. I reluctantly stood up from the bed and went into my bathroom which was in my room I turned on the shower, to a cool temperature. I looked at the scars on my body, the scars which aunt inflicted on me. the scars which mom hadn’t seen, the scars which were going to stay hidden like the mental and emotional ones. I wonder what mother would do if she found out how much damage aunt had done. If she found out that I was a wreck and this wreck couldn’t be fixed. If she found out that no matter how much of her effort she dedicated to this, I wouldn’t get better. I was happy that she found out at least she was going to stop aunt from doing anymore damage but I wasn’t a fool, I knew too well that I couldn’t be fixed. I couldn’t escape, couldn’t escape from my nightmares and couldn’t escape from my reality. I was gone, far from hope, I was lost and it was going to take someone with an extremely strong will power to fix me and no one I knew had that. By the time I through with my thoughts, I was already wet and numb from the cold water so I just stepped out from the bath tub and tied the towel around my waist. I got to my room and dried my body before wearing my clothes which consisted of a white singlet, a green shirt my boxer and a pair of jeans trousers and my Nike converse. I decided against creaming my body because it was unusually very hot, the sun seemed really mad and I didn’t want to become sweaty and sticky. My stomach made a grumble to remind me that I had not eaten. I hurried down the stairs careful not to fall, the stairs hard really sad memories this whole house had bad memories and there was actually no place I could call my safe spot. My aunt had made sure to corrupt my memory of every part of this house, one way or another knowingly or unknowingly. I got to the dining table mum was already there waiting for me she had not started eaten. All I wanted to say was ‘wow’. Mom never had a meal with me she was always busy with her work and when she wasn’t working, she would take her food to her room and wouldn’t want to come out. It was like she never wanted to see my face at all. I sat down in front of my place which had fried egg on it. I dragged my already made tea in front of me and took my loaf of bed then began eating. we ate in a comfortable silence, neither of us trying to start up a conversation not that I would even try. After we were through with eating, she cleared the dishes and I just stared into the distance. She came back a few minutes later, her hand bag hanging from her shoulders, a velvet napkin wrapped around her wet hands as she tried cleaning it up. She came towards me and told me had to be on our wa

I shut up from my bed feeling really scared and tired. I was

sweating profusely, traumatized at what I had just experienced the terrible

nightmare that decided to show its face in my not so peaceful sleep. I had

dreamt of my aunt. On normal basis, dreaming of Aunt Shelby was something

normal for me but this night, it was different and it was terrifying. ‘I was all alone at home and my aunt came in

she repeated what she had done earlier. It was just like a sense of déjà vu.

Then all of a sudden, everywhere became dark and a female silhouette came out

from the shadows. I squinted my eyes and managed to see who it was. Mother. She

was finally here; she would finally see what was going on. She would know about

my pain and Aunt Shelby would go away forever. But something wasn’t right she

had this sly smile on her face which made me scared. She walked close to me and

bent down to my life. I got a smack across the face and I began to shake she

repeated her sister’s routine, she r***d me’ I still couldn’t get over the

nightmare and before I knew it, I was hitting my head on the wall above my bed

I wanted to stop but I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to stop because it was

hurtful but regardless of the pain, my mind and brain kept telling me to go on,

giving me different reasons why I shouldn’t stop why I should hurt myself and

not stop. And I listened, I had to they spoke the truth. They were right I was

worthless, they were right nobody cared not even my parents, I was a burden I

was filthy their words were truthful and so I couldn’t stop. Each hit had a

reason and each reason made me hate myself, I failed. I suddenly heard my door

creak open and mother worked in. she gasped in fear at the sight and ran

towards me. She held my legs and kept moving her lips but I couldn’t form any

words. Instead, I squirmed away from her touch and kept on banging my head. She

slapped me and I had a sense of déjà vu. I ignored the sting on my face and

kept on hitting. She slipped her hand between my head and the wall and tried

pushing me away but I didn’t budge. Instead, I hit my head against my finger

making her whine but she still didn’t take her hands off. I could see the tears

streaming down her face because of the night light shining dimly on her. I

couldn’t take it anymore, I failed I began seeing in blurs, my head banging.

Soon after the struggle, I let the darkness come over me and I felt at peace.

I opened my

eyes and shut them back. The light was stinging them, they were heavy and

itchy. I felt like I fell down from the top of a staircase, my head was banging

and I was feeling a little dizzy. I began opening my eyes again but this time

slowly so that I could adapt to the light. I took in my surrounding, it was

white. I then rubbed my eyes with my hands as I couldn’t bear the itch. There

was a tube connected to my wrist. I traced it and got to a transparent bag

filled with yellow liquid. I tried sitting up but I hissed when the pain in my

head attacked. Just as I hissed, I noticed a movement at the corner of my eye.

It was mum. She looked really tired, there was tears stain on her cheeks and

eye bags under her eyes. Her hair had gone all haywire on her head and there

was drool on her jaw. At this point, I had no other options than to feel sorry

for her even though I felt betrayed and I didn’t trust. I knew that I never

trusted her before, I never trusted anybody but I didn’t know why I felt

betrayed. She didn’t hurt me physically, it was just a dream. I told myself

that a couple of times but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it. She

hurried towards me and gave me a cup of water which I hesitantly but greedily

drank. My once raspy and coarse throat now felt really calm and relaxed. “Why

did you do that?” mom asked. I knew that question was going to come up but I

didn’t expect it to be too soon. She didn’t even ask me how I was feeling, she

just wanted to know my reason, then she would either snap at me or act like the

caring mother she isn’t. I knew she didn’t want to be here, she was here for

formality sake she had better things to do so she could just leave. I decided

on not answering her and she put her bandaged hands on my skin while letting

out a sigh. I knew she was getting frustrated because of my silence and I also

knew the reason she decided to put her left bandaged hand on me. she wanted me

to feel bad because I was the one who hurt her. She was trying to compel me to

talk but I wasn’t going to. I quickly shifted away from her touch. She snapped.

She began screaming at me but in a way that no one would here from outside. She

ranted about how ungrateful I was to her, how I failed to understand her. She

made me understand how she felt about me. The doctor eventually came but that

was after she had calmed down and was trying her best to indirectly apologize.

The doctor asked to see her in public and I just sat there as they left looking

at the space in front of me. I began analyzing through everything, and I had

only one question, why did I have to go through this pain? It could have been

someone else. I knew I was selfish at that point but I didn’t care. All I

wanted was for the pain to stop, for it to end. I wished I didn’t live no one

cared and I didn’t matter to anyone. I remembered dada said that “the worst day

of your life would be the day you found out that nobody cares and you don’t

matter not even to the ones who call you dearest”. I felt something warm and

wet move down through my cheek into my slightly open mouth. I touched my face

to feel and know what the salty substance was. It was my tears. My eyes became

as large as sauce pans in surprise and anger. I was stunned because I couldn’t

remember the last time I cried and I was angry because my stupid brain failed

me again. Whenever I wanted to cry, it never gave in but now I didn’t even know

the reason for the tears and my brain decided that it would be great to let it

all out. My mum suddenly barge into the room but I was not shocked or surprised

by her actions. I just stared at my hands as I thought over the fact that I was

crying. “Get ready we are going home” she said in her monotone voice as she

tossed me a shirt and trouser. It was then I realized that I was in a hospital

gown this made me wonder for how long I had passed out. I was hurt by what my

mother did, she didn’t even notice that her only child was crying and in

distress not that I even wanted her to know. I got changed and met her outside,

making sure to keep myself at a safe distance away from her.

*******

*******

******* ******* *******

We got home in

one piece, mom didn’t ask any questions we just drove in an awkward silence. When

we got out of the car, I tried my best to rush to my room ignoring the banging

in my head so as to avoid mother’s question. She knew what I was doing and she

didn’t stop me maybe she realized that all I needed was space. I got to my room

and locked the door, I still didn’t feel safe around her. I never felt safe

around her I never thought she would be around to save me I actually thought of

her as more harm than help to me. With her mood swings and carelessness, she

left me with no one to trust. I slid down the door making my head and back

comfortable on the hard wood as I fell into my reverie. I began envisioning

about my life, how I would have been if I wasn’t autistic how father wouldn’t

have been disgusted with me that he had to leave, how I would have been a

straight ‘A’ student, gone to a university abroad, studied law, been the best

graduating student, get a job. I would have built a law firm, found a beautiful

wife and have kids. But no, I had to be stuck with this disorder and therapy.

These thoughts made me realize something, I couldn’t remember the last time I

went for therapy, mum had stopped my therapy for years now and I didn’t know

why. Didn’t she want me to get better? Because I’m sure that if I had gone for

constant therapy I would be at least a little bit better. I was knocked out of

my thoughts when I heard momma scream. What was wrong? Should I check on her?

No, my conscience told me not to, so I sat rooted there. “Tobi!!!!” I heard

momma scream from down the stairs, I was scared. What did I do wrong? I heard

her heavy footsteps get closer to my room and soon, she began banging on the

door. This was the time I dreaded the most, the time she decided that it was

time for her to show her hatred towards me and begin to hurt me. I crawled away

from the door and moved close to my bed, sitting just opposite the door

watching intensely as it shifted slightly numerous time, waiting for it to

crawl out of its hinges. I could hear mother’s voice again but this time it was

shaky and it sounded scared and distressed. “Tobi please open the door momma

just wants to talk to you” she said. Was she that desperate to hurt me that she

would even result in begging. Her footsteps went away becoming lighter and I

had hope that she would leave me alone to myself but that hope was cut short as

her footsteps came back but this time with another sound. I could hear the

jingling of something then it hit me like a ton of bricks to my head, she had a

spare key to every room in the house. The door swung open and I saw my mother

she looked worse than before and this time she held a camera. Did she just want

to use me to get over her sad moment. She slowly walked closer to me as I

scooted away from her. She soon caught up to me and bent down to my level what

was happening why was she doing this. She suddenly pulled me into a tight but

soft hug, at first I didn’t understand what was happening but then it dawned on

me she was with the camera, tears were streaming down her cheeks and she looked

sober. She found out she found out about my aunt she found out about the

torture she now knew about what I was going through she was going to save me,

she would help me she was going to make it stop. I could already picture my not

so perfect life without any abuse and it was perfect. I wanted to leap for joy

I wanted to hug her back I wanted to smile and say that everything would be

okay but I didn’t. she pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. I took a

glance of her eyes before looking down. They were blood shot red and I could

see the veins popping out of her eye lids. “I’m sorry” she started, “I’m sorry

for not paying attention, for not listening to you for not being there. It’s

all my fault I trusted he blindly I… “She broke down again before she could

finish her sentence. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be

alright but I couldn’t help but feel that there was more trouble to come. There

was this uneasy feeling in me that it wasn’t over and that it had just begun.

She pulled me up gently and moved me to my bed. She laid me down and tucked me

in. she stayed for about thirty minutes and I was glad these were one those

times I wanted her to be around one of those times I was actually comfortable

with her touches, one of those times I wanted her to chat with me and catch me

up on things I’ve missed even if only her did the talking and I never talked

back because I either had nothing to say or my mind wouldn’t let me. This was

one of those times were my body, mind, soul, spirit, brain accepted her as my

mother and friend these times were usually rare but I loved them. She kissed me

on my head and said “don’t worry we would make her pay”. She left my room,

leaving me to wander off in my thoughts, alone in my dimly lit room. How did

she get the camera? Where did she find it my aunt had never been careless so

how was she careless this time? not that I was complaining because her one time

mistake was actually a good thing for me but I just had this stupid feeling in

me that nothing was right and nothing would be. I soon fell asleep getting

tired because of the bottled up emotions which I refused to let out.

I was woken by someone slightly

tugging at my hand and I stirred my eyes open feeling the need to scurry far

away from whoever the intruder was. I looked around the room for about five

seconds trying to find out who touched me and if I was in trouble before my

eyes stopped abruptly, as I watched my mother. I took in her appearance, she

still looked distressed from the events and happenings of yesterday but she was

a little bit more composed. With the way she was dressed I already knew that

she had taken her bath and was probably ready to go to work. “Good morning she

said to me” I was taken aback I couldn’t remember the last time she had

courtesy of me. “Hey you need to get up now so you can get ready and we would

go to the station to report”. It was as she said this, that it really dawned on

me all that had been happening. A wave of sadness hit me and I carried my eyes

down not even realizing that I had been staring into her eyes without any

difficulty. “There is no need to be scared momma’s here and she won’t let

anyone hurt you.” She put her hand on me again and I flinched, she got the

message and left me alone, walking outside the door without another word. I

wasn’t scared, not one bit I was just sad. Sad because of the fact that my life

was as complicated as this, sad because my life was extremely twisted even when

all I did was ‘eat, play sleep’. I was just sad. I reluctantly stood up from

the bed and went into my bathroom which was in my room I turned on the shower,

to a cool temperature. I looked at the scars on my body, the scars which aunt

inflicted on me. the scars which mom hadn’t seen, the scars which were going to

stay hidden like the mental and emotional ones. I wonder what mother would do

if she found out how much damage aunt had done. If she found out that I was a

wreck and this wreck couldn’t be fixed. If she found out that no matter how

much of her effort she dedicated to this, I wouldn’t get better. I was happy

that she found out at least she was going to stop aunt from doing anymore

damage but I wasn’t a fool, I knew too well that I couldn’t be fixed. I

couldn’t escape, couldn’t escape from my nightmares and couldn’t escape from my

reality. I was gone, far from hope, I was lost and it was going to take someone

with an extremely strong will power to fix me and no one I knew had that. By

the time I through with my thoughts, I was already wet and numb from the cold

water so I just stepped out from the bath tub and tied the towel around my

waist. I got to my room and dried my body before wearing my clothes which

consisted of a white singlet, a green shirt my boxer and a pair of jeans

trousers and my Nike converse. I decided against creaming my body because it

was unusually very hot, the sun seemed really mad and I didn’t want to become

sweaty and sticky. My stomach made a grumble to remind me that I had not eaten.

I hurried down the stairs careful not to fall, the stairs hard really sad

memories this whole house had bad memories and there was actually no place I

could call my safe spot. My aunt had made sure to corrupt my memory of every

part of this house, one way or another knowingly or unknowingly. I got to the

dining table mum was already there waiting for me she had not started eaten.

All I wanted to say was ‘wow’. Mom never had a meal with me she was always busy

with her work and when she wasn’t working, she would take her food to her room

and wouldn’t want to come out. It was like she never wanted to see my face at

all. I sat down in front of my place which had fried egg on it. I dragged my

already made tea in front of me and took my loaf of bed then began eating. we

ate in a comfortable silence, neither of us trying to start up a conversation

not that I would even try. After we were through with eating, she cleared the

dishes and I just stared into the distance. She came back a few minutes later,

her hand bag hanging from her shoulders, a velvet napkin wrapped around her wet

hands as she tried cleaning it up. She came towards me and told me had to be on

her way.