A Way Out

CHAPTER 4

I woke up to loud voices and crashing coming down from down the stairs, I wasn’t really a morning person and it irritated me when I was woken up with loud noises. I crept out of my room and into the hall way until I got to the top of the stairs. I began climbing down the stairs not curious about what was going but hoping that when they saw me they would reduce their voices and allow me go back to sleep. As I got down to the last step, a familiar voice had me frozen to my spot, I could recognize that terrifying voice from anywhere. I looked at the space in front of me not wanting to confirm my doubt by turning my head and seeing my aunt. I didn’t know why I could not move even when I tried so I just stared up front, taking in every tinny bitty detail of the wall in front of me as I listened to their conversation. “Look at! Look at the mad boy my sister decided to sue me for. Look at how deranged he looks and my sister decided to be a traitor because of him” she said and just immediately, it clicked to me, she had received a letter from the court of law telling her that she had been sued on charges of r**e and assault. I made the mistake of turning to face her and the look of hatred and disgust she gave me made me grimace, my legs giving up on me as I fell to the ground. “Shelby leave my house now before I call the police” mom shouted “And what would they do?” aunt Shelby asked with so much confidence that I was scared to the last. Mother gave her a warning look which actually made a scared look creep on her face but she masked it immediately. “I’m going Funmi” she said “but you are going to regret your decisions” she said before leaving. Knowing my aunt, I knew she was speaking the truth and she didn’t just threaten us. Momma helped me up and told me to get ready as we were going to get the video from the police. The determination written in her voice told me that she believed aunt’s words but she was not ready to give up. I got ready and we were off to another place that I dreaded. We drove in silence, we always drove in silence anytime we were together we had one thing in common silence. We didn’t really have anything to talk about, our bond was really weak and she knew that if she started up a conversation, I would not engage in it. We got to the station and as usual, she made me come with her. It was her away of making me open and stopping my social awkwardness but it wasn’t helping. “We would like to get a copy of the video that we submitted as evidence on my son’s assault case and we would like to ask that you arrest the suspect and bring her in for questioning as she seems to be a threat to me and my child” momma said with her stern voice. The man behind the counter looked at her as though she was crazy before going back to what he was doing. “ Hello Mr. I’m talking to you” mother was getting angry, I could sense it. What do you want me to do? Eh?” the man snapped “You came in here and started acting as if you are the owner of this place and you are expecting me to give you an answer. Please don’t test my patience. “Just answer am before she go explode here” a woman who was sitting on a chair rudely interfered. He reluctantly agreed asking for some information which my mother gave. He typed the given information into the ‘rickety rickety jalopy’ computer. He sighed before looking up. “Madam there is no case that is associated with the information you gave me so I would like you to leave” “but…” mum was rudely cut off “please don’t try to waste my time by complaining just leave before I put you and your crazy son behind bars.” Mom huffed and turned on her heels storming out of there, me following quietly behind her as I heard the rude woman say “mumu people na so dem dey do.”

We got to the car and drove off, but not heading to the direction of the house but instead heading to a direction shown to us by a piece of paper in my mother’s hand. We got to a huge worn out building with a sign board at the top that read ‘Chinyere and co law firm’. As we got down from the car, I saw a familiar figure at the corner of my eyes so I turned and looked at it. It was my aunt she had a smile on. I wondered what she was doing here but before I could register anything again, I was being dragged away into the building. Maybe she had come for a lawyer in her new case and she was very confident that she would win. “We would like to meet with miss Amanda” Mum told the lady who seemed to be the secretary “do you have an appointment?” “No but we are…” “I’m sorry but if you don’t have an appointment then you’ll have to book one or else you can’t see her” “I know but this is really urgent” momma whined she sighed and looked up the, first time since we came. She was chocolate skinned and her hazel eyes going perfectly well with her small lips and pointed nose. She looked at us with disgust before picking up her phone. “What is the full name of the lawyer she asked mum “Chimamanda Ajuzie” mum said. She went through a book before typing some set of digits in the phone in her hand “hello please there is a lady and man here who are insisting on seeing you but they don’t have an appointment with you…names?” she asked looking at my mom “Funmi and Tobi Ajani” mum said, the secretary repeated the names to the receiver. She ended the call abruptly and stood up telling us to follow her. The tone of her voice and the look on her face were enough to tell that she hadn’t noticed that I was crazy I knew that if she had, she would have stolen some side glances to watch me in disgust as I fail at every simple thing. She stopped in front of an office and ushered us in after knocking. The office was ‘fair, not too good’ it was medium sized, stacked with papers and files, there was a cupboard that had lost a door and its other was about to fall off. It wasn’t too bad, at least it was a private office. The door suddenly closed making me flinch at the loud sound it made. Mother started talking, her voice was shaking it was obvious that she had already given up hope and that bit of desperation in her had ‘shrinked’ and now she was just scared just plain old fear. “Amanda please we need your help the police claim that they can’t find the video and now I don’t…” “I’m sorry ma but I can’t go on with this case please I am really sorry and besides with no sound and fit evidence I don’t think that there is very much we can do to win this case nevertheless I’m still sorry for backing down at this point but I can’t do anything.” Mother looked like she could rip the lawyer apart, on glare at the poor lady and Miss Amanda was already shifting nervously and involuntarily on her sit, the fear was written over every bit of action she had made. She cleared her throat and started to speak again, her voice now extremely raspy with fear “please ma you can go” “we can go? We should leave your horrible office? What do you expect us to do now?” mom snapped, she was already fuming , her voice was dangerously calm, it was laced with a little line of frustration. “I don’t know what you are to do, you can either hire a new lawyer or withdraw the case” she said whilst shrugging her shoulders. Then it clicked, everything was clear, every piece of the puzzle fit in their various spaces. This was all a plan, all her plan. She made the police get rid of the video then she made this woman back out from the case, it was all coming to me now, but there was nothing we could do, there was nothing I could do. Momma stormed out of the office and I trailed behind her as we headed for the car. I didn’t miss the strange stairs and hisses that come from the people who were watching an angry woman walk faster than lightning and her poor deranged son trying to keep up with her without tripping and falling face down. We got to the car and she drove off, I could hear her mutter something along the line of ‘what I’m I going to do’ she kept on mumbling words under her breath. We got home safely, mom was still angry, if she was fair in complexion she would be as red as a tomato. I didn’t know if she had any idea of my aunt being involved in this but I knew that at the time we were literarily stranded and she didn’t know what to do or where to start from.

My nights were quiet, restless sleepless, turbulent. Weeks had passed and we couldn’t do anything, we hadn’t gotten anywhere, no achievements. The only solution to our predicaments was simple, drop all charges against aunt Shelby. It was only about three weeks till the first hearing and we have failed in every of our single attempt even to find a compactible lawyer. We found lawyers but at one point in time we lost them this was the reason mum kept on writing letters to the court to postpone the date of the first hearing. I guess the court was tired of our procrastination and we were no longer allowed to post pone the date. It was obvious my aunt had a hand in this dilemma of ours, she had always been desperate and she always got what she wanted. I felt like a fool for thinking at one point that everything was going to be okay, that we were going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. Nothing was ever going to be okay at least not anytime soon. I remember the lawyer we had gone to see after lawyer Amanda ditched us, all we had to do was tell him our previous lawyer had no proof and the hearing was in a week time and he backed down.

“‘good evening ma’am’ he said after momma greeted him ‘so I got a briefing of your case in the file sent to me and I must say it’s a little tricky since the supposed assaulted is an adult male but since he is autistic, I’m sure we can work something out. You said that you had a lawyer before now right?’ he asked mother ‘yes we did.’ ‘okay so do you have any proof, I mean evidence to back up this case that I can work with’ mother’s hopeful expression immediately dropped and he noticed . ‘surely , you should have something right even if it’s not a complete evidence something I could easily pick up on?’ ‘no I’m sorry’ mother said. He let out a humorless chuckle I’m sorry but when is the first hearing?’ ‘um… it’s in a week time’ ‘ it’s in a week time and you expect me to work my magic without any spells’ he said obviously getting angry ‘I’m sorry ma but I wouldn’t be able to do anything, no one can do anything and no lawyer in his sane mind would agree to take up this case, that hurt me bad but I didn’t show it. ‘the only thing you can do is to write a letter to the court to postpone the hearing apart from that you would just have to drop all charges but even at that I still can’t help you.’ And with those words being said, he dismissed us.’

Momma took his advice and wrote a letter to the court asking for the postponement of the date and surprisingly it worked. The hearing was then in a month time, so we were of on our quest for justice and we were hanging on a thin thread of hope that could snap at any point in time. The next lawyer’s story was tragic and I knew we were up for something really dangerous, for someone really dangerous.

‘”hurry up Tobi we have to get going.” Mother called from down stairs, she was really eager she had a feeling that that day wasn’t going to be like other days that we would come back happy and I could not help but that she wouldn’t come back crushed. We were going to meet our new lawyer, he said he had gotten his hands on something that would help us. I wasn’t going to lie, I was excited but I wasn’t ready to get my hopes up. When we got to the lawyer’s office, we had our seat and cups of tea and crackers to go with. Then he started “I had carried out a background check on your sister, the accused and I found out that she had a previous case with the law on s****l abusing, aiding and abetting the crime and other related crimes.” He paused and gave my mother a white sheet probably a hard copy of whatever he had just finished saying. “now this doesn’t in anyway relate to your son but it would in one way or another help us in court. So I would like to ask you a question” he stopped as if waiting for permission to go on. When he didn’t get any, he still carried on. “Do you have anybody who at one point witnessed the assault?” this time he looked at me but I didn’t reply. I didn’t really like the new lawyer, he was really harsh to be dealing with a case like mine, to be honest, he was too harsh to even be a lawyer. When he had an alone time with me, he made me recount everything that happened with aunt Shelby he called it practice for when I would give my statement in court. After he realized that I wasn’t going to give him any answer, he directed his gaze to meet my mother he said “when you find out of any witness or anything that could help us in this case please do not hesitate to call me because we need to be quick in taking action. We got home, it was obvious that mother was trying her best to think of something, anything that would help us but it was to no avail. I knew of someone who could help us, that someone who witnessed my pain yet couldn’t do anything, that some that had to leave due to fear of her life. But I didn’t know how to tell mother I couldn’t make a complete sentence without breaking down or making a mistake. But maybe the mistake wouldn’t matter, maybe she wouldn’t cringe at my inability to make a correct sentence. I got up and went to her room, I knocked on momma’s door and she opened it and ushered me in with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. I sat on her bed without being told, her bed was as soft as a cloud. I looked down to the fingers playing on my laps as she crouched down in front of me, waiting for me to tell her the purpose of my visit. It had been really long since I stepped into that room, and it was still the same. She cleared her throat making me remember that she was there. I didn’t know what to say so I just said her name “chi chi” I knew momma understood because she stood up immediately, her gaze still on me. “does chi chi know about what was going on?” she asked and I nodded my head slowly. “I’m going to call the lawyer she said and reached for her phone. Chi chi was our maid, she walked in one day on my aunt’s torture and she was going to tell but my aunt being who she was threatened her and made her quit her job. “dead?” that word got me shocked “that can’t be possible I just saw him earlier today” and just like that I knew who died and I wasn’t happy about that. I didn’t need my mom to tell me it was the lawyer who died and I didn’t need anyone to tell me that my aunt had something to do with this.’

As the days and nights were going by, the pressure on me was increasing the weight my mother kept on my shoulders were becoming heavier and I doubt if she could sense my pain. The stares I got whenever I went out, the various letters left on my door step that mad momma cry, the multiple times aunt came to the house to hurt me when momma wasn’t there, all the nightmares I had that gave me sleepless nights. Trying to impress momma as she expects me to be able to go out of my way to make things work, but I couldn’t complain all I had to do was keep a straight face try to act normal and be mother’s good boy. I got up from bed, really sluggishly. I could hear voice coming from outside the house but as usual, I pushed it to the back of my head, it was probably nothing. I went through my normal boring morning routine of cleaning up before I headed downstairs to have a meal, my stomach wouldn’t stop growling. As I went past my mother’s room, I took a peep and noticed she wasn’t there, when I got downstairs she was nowhere to be seen but I did not bother myself to look for her I just sat down on the dining chair in front of the dining table ready to eat the food in front of me. As I dug into the food In front of me, I noticed the newspaper in front of me and got distracted by it. I quickly dropped my spoon in the tea cup and picked up the newspaper in front of me. Something caught my attention something really big and it made me want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I was on the front page of the newspaper and it was NEWS about how I lied about being abused. I quickly turned to the page were the full story was and I began to read it. My eyes were as round and wide as saucepans my eye balls as if they were going to pop out of their sockets, I could feel the tear brimming the corners of my eyes, ready to drop out from them down my cheeks. I got up, unable to control them as they moved towards the door. I had no idea where I was heading to, I just scurried to the door and went out only to be bright lights flashing, beeping sounds, microphones shoved to my face men and women asking me questions and crowding me. I couldn’t get my head wrapped around whatever was happening, the cameras were pointed at my face as I tried pushing the cellphones and microphones away from me. they were still persistent. I tried pushing them away but they weren’t ready to back down as some of them grabbed a hold of me. I fell on the floor and began rocking myself, as I looked through the small circle of crowd round about me, I see my biggest fear the person who frightened me, aunt. I could see the look of accomplishment she had on. I began crying but I couldn’t feel the tears, I wanted to feel the tears go down my cheeks but they were nowhere to be found. I only let out sob like whimpers, for once I wanted to show that I felt something that I wasn’t stoic I wanted to show something. In all of this, I began wondering where was momma? Had she seen the newspaper? Did she know about this people that were in front of her house? Did she care about me? I was being suffocated by a flood of journalists who thought they knew the truth but didn’t. I shuffled my way back up, I couldn’t take this anymore, all of these were agonizing, they hurt and I didn’t want to go through it anymore. I didn’t want to go through any more trouble neither did I want the pain of history to repeat itself. I felt like I was in an abyss, being swallowed into a dark hole with no way out. I wanted to find my own way out and after so many ideas to find a way out, I finally found the one, and nothing was going to stop me. This was the only help and solution a poor, pathetic and depressed soul could get. I made my way through the crowd flinching all the while as my body made contact with their dirty ones. Once outside the crowd, I made a run for it. I ran as fast as my legs could take me and I wasn’t ready to stop. No matter how much my legs began to shake, no matter how weak I felt I wasn’t ready to give up on my last solution, I could feel some of the journalists trailing behind me but there was no way I was giving in, this was my only redemption and I wasn’t ready to let it go.

I looked down from the cliff, it was about 15 feet high its base covered in rocks. I took a deep breath shutting out the voices of the crowd telling me to turn back, I wasn’t going to listen to anyone especially not them, all they wanted was a thrilling story for their television station. This was it, I had finally given up, given up on joy, love, happiness I had given up on life. I was going to take this jump but I was not going to feel the fall. This would be my last jump, the last action that was meant to cause me pain but this wouldn’t hurt, not one bit. I looked at the trees opposite me, far away from where I stood soon I was going to be part of nature inanimate being and all I had to do was jump. I breathed, it would all be over very soon. I stretched my leg in front of me, waiting for the fall, waiting for the thud, waiting for the screams and waiting for the soothing pain but none of those ever came. I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me back I tried flinching away from the touch bit it was firm on me and reluctant to let me go. I began squirming wanting to get out of the touch desperately but it was no use. Just as I was about to continue with my struggle, the hand released his death grip and I tripped falling backwards. I fell, hitting my head on a stray stone. I could feel the blood gushing out, but this time it wasn’t from my suicide attempt. As I allowed the peaceful darkness overwhelm me and I close my eyes in a sad but quiet sleep, all I could see where flashes from the cameras that were taking my pictures.

I woke up to loud voices and crashing coming down from down

the stairs, I wasn’t really a morning person and it irritated me when I was

woken up with loud noises. I crept out of my room and into the hall way until I

got to the top of the stairs. I began climbing down the stairs not curious

about what was going but hoping that when they saw me they would reduce their

voices and allow me go back to sleep. As I got down to the last step, a

familiar voice had me frozen to my spot, I could recognize that terrifying

voice from anywhere. I looked at the space in front of me not wanting to

confirm my doubt by turning my head and seeing my aunt. I didn’t know why I

could not move even when I tried so I just stared up front, taking in every

tinny bitty detail of the wall in front of me as I listened to their

conversation. “Look at! Look at the mad boy my sister decided to sue me for.

Look at how deranged he looks and my sister decided to be a traitor because of

him” she said and just immediately, it clicked to me, she had received a letter

from the court of law telling her that she had been sued on charges of r**e and

assault. I made the mistake of turning to face her and the look of hatred and

disgust she gave me made me grimace, my legs giving up on me as I fell to the

ground. “Shelby leave my house now before I call the police” mom shouted “And

what would they do?” aunt Shelby asked with so much confidence that I was

scared to the last. Mother gave her a warning look which actually made a scared

look creep on her face but she masked it immediately. “I’m going Funmi” she

said “but you are going to regret your decisions” she said before leaving.

Knowing my aunt, I knew she was speaking the truth and she didn’t just threaten

us. Momma helped me up and told me to get ready as we were going to get the

video from the police. The determination written in her voice told me that she

believed aunt’s words but she was not ready to give up. I got ready and we were

off to another place that I dreaded. We drove in silence, we always drove in

silence anytime we were together we had one thing in common silence. We didn’t

really have anything to talk about, our bond was really weak and she knew that

if she started up a conversation, I would not engage in it. We got to the

station and as usual, she made me come with her. It was her away of making me

open and stopping my social awkwardness but it wasn’t helping. “We would like

to get a copy of the video that we submitted as evidence on my son’s assault

case and we would like to ask that you arrest the suspect and bring her in for

questioning as she seems to be a threat to me and my child” momma said with her

stern voice. The man behind the counter looked at her as though she was crazy

before going back to what he was doing. “ Hello Mr. I’m talking to you” mother

was getting angry, I could sense it. What do you want me to do? Eh?” the man

snapped “You came in here and started acting as if you are the owner of this

place and you are expecting me to give you an answer. Please don’t test my

patience. “Just answer am before she go explode here” a woman who was sitting

on a chair rudely interfered. He reluctantly agreed asking for some information

which my mother gave. He typed the given information into the ‘rickety rickety

jalopy’ computer. He sighed before looking up. “Madam there is no case that is

associated with the information you gave me so I would like you to leave”

“but…” mum was rudely cut off “please don’t try to waste my time by complaining

just leave before I put you and your crazy son behind bars.” Mom huffed and

turned on her heels storming out of there, me following quietly behind her as I

heard the rude woman say “mumu people na so dem dey do.”

We got to

the car and drove off, but not heading to the direction of the house but

instead heading to a direction shown to us by a piece of paper in my mother’s

hand. We got to a huge worn out building with a sign board at the top that read

‘Chinyere and co law firm’. As we got down from

the car, I saw a familiar figure at the corner of my eyes so I turned

and looked at it. It was my aunt she had

a smile on. I wondered what she was doing here but before I could register

anything again, I was being dragged away into the building. Maybe she had come

for a lawyer in her new case and she was very confident that she would win. “We

would like to meet with miss Amanda” Mum told the lady who seemed to be the

secretary “do you have an appointment?” “No but we are…” “I’m sorry but if you

don’t have an appointment then you’ll have to book one or else you can’t see her”

“I know but this is really urgent” momma whined she sighed and looked up the,

first time since we came. She was chocolate skinned and her hazel eyes going

perfectly well with her small lips and pointed nose. She looked at us with

disgust before picking up her phone. “What is the full name of the lawyer she

asked mum “Chimamanda Ajuzie” mum said. She went through a book before typing

some set of digits in the phone in her hand “hello please there is a lady and

man here who are insisting on seeing you but they don’t have an appointment

with you…names?” she asked looking at my mom “Funmi and Tobi Ajani” mum said,

the secretary repeated the names to the receiver. She ended the call abruptly

and stood up telling us to follow her. The tone of her voice and the look on

her face were enough to tell that she hadn’t noticed that I was crazy I knew

that if she had, she would have stolen some side glances to watch me in disgust

as I fail at every simple thing. She stopped in front of an office and ushered

us in after knocking. The office was ‘fair, not too good’ it was medium sized,

stacked with papers and files, there was a cupboard that had lost a door and

its other was about to fall off. It wasn’t too bad, at least it was a private

office. The door suddenly closed making me flinch at the loud sound it made.

Mother started talking, her voice was shaking it was obvious that she had

already given up hope and that bit of desperation in her had ‘shrinked’ and now

she was just scared just plain old fear. “Amanda please we need your help the

police claim that they can’t find the video and now I don’t…” “I’m sorry ma but

I can’t go on with this case please I am really sorry and besides with no sound

and fit evidence I don’t think that there is very much we can do to win this

case nevertheless I’m still sorry for backing down at this point but I can’t do

anything.” Mother looked like she could rip the lawyer apart, on glare at the

poor lady and Miss Amanda was already shifting nervously and involuntarily on

her sit, the fear was written over every bit of action she had made. She

cleared her throat and started to speak again, her voice now extremely raspy

with fear “please ma you can go” “we can go? We should leave your horrible

office? What do you expect us to do now?” mom snapped, she was already fuming ,

her voice was dangerously calm, it was laced with a little line of frustration.

“I don’t know what you are to do, you can either hire a new lawyer or withdraw

the case” she said whilst shrugging her shoulders. Then it clicked, everything

was clear, every piece of the puzzle fit in their various spaces. This was all

a plan, all her plan. She made the police get rid of the video then she made

this woman back out from the case, it was all coming to me now, but there was

nothing we could do, there was nothing I could do. Momma stormed out of the

office and I trailed behind her as we headed for the car. I didn’t miss the

strange stairs and hisses that come from the people who were watching an angry

woman walk faster than lightning and her poor deranged son trying to keep up

with her without tripping and falling face down. We got to the car and she

drove off, I could hear her mutter something along the line of ‘what I’m I

going to do’ she kept on mumbling words under her breath. We got home safely,

mom was still angry, if she was fair in complexion she would be as red as a

tomato. I didn’t know if she had any idea of my aunt being involved in this but

I knew that at the time we were literarily stranded and she didn’t know what to

do or where to start from.

My nights were

quiet, restless sleepless, turbulent. Weeks had passed and we couldn’t do

anything, we hadn’t gotten anywhere, no achievements. The only solution to our

predicaments was simple, drop all charges against aunt Shelby. It was only

about three weeks till the first hearing and we have failed in every of our

single attempt even to find a compactible lawyer. We found lawyers but at one

point in time we lost them this was the reason mum kept on writing letters to

the court to postpone the date of the first hearing. I guess the court was

tired of our procrastination and we were no longer allowed to post pone the

date. It was obvious my aunt had a hand in this dilemma of ours, she had always

been desperate and she always got what she wanted. I felt like a fool for thinking

at one point that everything was going to be okay, that we were going to be

okay, that I was going to be okay. Nothing was ever going to be okay at least

not anytime soon. I remember the lawyer we had gone to see after lawyer Amanda

ditched us, all we had to do was tell him our previous lawyer had no proof and

the hearing was in a week time and he backed down.

“‘good evening ma’am’

he said after momma greeted him ‘so I got a briefing of your case in the file

sent to me and I must say it’s a little tricky since the supposed assaulted is

an adult male but since he is autistic, I’m sure we can work something out. You

said that you had a lawyer before now right?’ he asked mother ‘yes we did.’

‘okay so do you have any proof, I mean evidence to back up this case that I can

work with’ mother’s hopeful expression immediately dropped and he noticed .

‘surely , you should have something right even if it’s not a complete evidence

something I could easily pick up on?’ ‘no I’m sorry’ mother said. He let out a

humorless chuckle I’m sorry but when is the first hearing?’ ‘um… it’s in a week

time’ ‘ it’s in a week time and you expect me to work my magic without any spells’

he said obviously getting angry ‘I’m sorry ma but I wouldn’t be able to do

anything, no one can do anything and no lawyer in his sane mind would agree to

take up this case, that hurt me bad but I didn’t show it. ‘the only thing you

can do is to write a letter to the court to postpone the hearing apart from

that you would just have to drop all charges but even at that I still can’t

help you.’ And with those words being said, he dismissed us.’

Momma took his advice and wrote a letter to the court asking

for the postponement of the date and surprisingly it worked. The hearing was

then in a month time, so we were of on our quest for justice and we were

hanging on a thin thread of hope that could snap at any point in time. The next

lawyer’s story was tragic and I knew we were up for something really dangerous,

for someone really dangerous.

‘”hurry up Tobi we

have to get going.” Mother called from down stairs, she was really eager she

had a feeling that that day wasn’t going to be like other days that we would

come back happy and I could not help but that she wouldn’t come back crushed.

We were going to meet our new lawyer, he said he had gotten his hands on

something that would help us. I wasn’t going to lie, I was excited but I wasn’t

ready to get my hopes up. When we got to the lawyer’s office, we had our seat

and cups of tea and crackers to go with. Then he started “I had carried out a

background check on your sister, the accused and I found out that she had a

previous case with the law on s****l abusing, aiding and abetting the crime and

other related crimes.” He paused and gave my mother a white sheet probably a

hard copy of whatever he had just finished saying. “now this doesn’t in anyway

relate to your son but it would in one way or another help us in court. So I

would like to ask you a question” he stopped as if waiting for permission to go

on. When he didn’t get any, he still carried on. “Do you have anybody who at

one point witnessed the assault?” this time he looked at me but I didn’t reply.

I didn’t really like the new lawyer, he was really harsh to be dealing with a

case like mine, to be honest, he was too harsh to even be a lawyer. When he had

an alone time with me, he made me recount everything that happened with aunt

Shelby he called it practice for when I would give my statement in court. After

he realized that I wasn’t going to give him any answer, he directed his gaze to

meet my mother he said “when you find out of any witness or anything that could

help us in this case please do not hesitate to call me because we need to be

quick in taking action. We got home, it was obvious that mother was trying her

best to think of something, anything that would help us but it was to no avail.

I knew of someone who could help us, that someone who witnessed my pain yet

couldn’t do anything, that some that had to leave due to fear of her life. But

I didn’t know how to tell mother I couldn’t make a complete sentence without

breaking down or making a mistake. But maybe the mistake wouldn’t matter, maybe

she wouldn’t cringe at my inability to make a correct sentence. I got up and

went to her room, I knocked on momma’s door and she opened it and ushered me in

with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. I sat on her bed without being told,

her bed was as soft as a cloud. I looked down to the fingers playing on my laps

as she crouched down in front of me, waiting for me to tell her the purpose of

my visit. It had been really long since I stepped into that room, and it was

still the same. She cleared her throat making me remember that she was there. I

didn’t know what to say so I just said her name “chi chi” I knew momma

understood because she stood up immediately, her gaze still on me. “does chi

chi know about what was going on?” she asked and I nodded my head slowly. “I’m

going to call the lawyer she said and reached for her phone. Chi chi was our

maid, she walked in one day on my aunt’s torture and she was going to tell but

my aunt being who she was threatened her and made her quit her job. “dead?”

that word got me shocked “that can’t be possible I just saw him earlier today”

and just like that I knew who died and I wasn’t happy about that. I didn’t need

my mom to tell me it was the lawyer who died and I didn’t need anyone to tell

me that my aunt had something to do with this.’

As the

days and nights were going by, the pressure on me was increasing the weight my

mother kept on my shoulders were becoming heavier and I doubt if she could

sense my pain. The stares I got whenever I went out, the various letters left

on my door step that mad momma cry, the multiple times aunt came to the house

to hurt me when momma wasn’t there, all the nightmares I had that gave me

sleepless nights. Trying to impress momma as she expects me to be able to go

out of my way to make things work, but I couldn’t complain all I had to do was

keep a straight face try to act normal and be mother’s good boy. I got up from

bed, really sluggishly. I could hear voice coming from outside the house but as

usual, I pushed it to the back of my head, it was probably nothing. I went

through my normal boring morning routine of cleaning up before I headed

downstairs to have a meal, my stomach wouldn’t stop growling. As I went past my

mother’s room, I took a peep and noticed she wasn’t there, when I got downstairs

she was nowhere to be seen but I did not bother myself to look for her I just

sat down on the dining chair in front of the dining table ready to eat the food

in front of me. As I dug into the food In front of me, I noticed the newspaper

in front of me and got distracted by it. I quickly dropped my spoon in the tea

cup and picked up the newspaper in front of me. Something caught my attention

something really big and it made me want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes

out. I was on the front page of the newspaper and it was NEWS about how I lied

about being abused. I quickly turned to the page were the full story was and I

began to read it. My eyes were as round and wide as saucepans my eye balls as

if they were going to pop out of their sockets, I could feel the tear brimming the corners of my eyes, ready to drop out from

them down my cheeks. I got up, unable to control them as they moved towards the

door. I had no idea where I was heading to, I just scurried to the door and

went out only to be bright lights flashing, beeping sounds, microphones shoved

to my face men and women asking me questions and crowding me. I couldn’t get my

head wrapped around whatever was happening, the cameras were pointed at my face

as I tried pushing the cellphones and microphones away from me. they were still

persistent. I tried pushing them away but they weren’t ready to back down as

some of them grabbed a hold of me. I fell on the floor and began rocking

myself, as I looked through the small circle of crowd round about me, I see my

biggest fear the person who frightened me, aunt. I could see the look of

accomplishment she had on. I began crying but I couldn’t feel the tears, I

wanted to feel the tears go down my cheeks but they were nowhere to be found. I

only let out sob like whimpers, for once I wanted to show that I felt something

that I wasn’t stoic I wanted to show something. In all of this, I began

wondering where was momma? Had she seen the newspaper? Did she know about this

people that were in front of her house? Did she care about me? I was being

suffocated by a flood of journalists who thought they knew the truth but

didn’t. I shuffled my way back up, I couldn’t take this anymore, all of these

were agonizing, they hurt and I didn’t

want to go through it anymore. I didn’t want to go through any more trouble

neither did I want the pain of history to repeat itself. I felt like I was in

an abyss, being swallowed into a dark hole with no way out. I wanted to find my

own way out and after so many ideas to find a way out, I finally found the one,

and nothing was going to stop me. This was the only help and solution a poor,

pathetic and depressed soul could get. I made my way through the crowd flinching

all the while as my body made contact with their dirty ones. Once outside the

crowd, I made a run for it. I ran as fast as my legs could take me and I wasn’t

ready to stop. No matter how much my legs began to shake, no matter how weak I

felt I wasn’t ready to give up on my last solution, I could feel some of the

journalists trailing behind me but there was no way I was giving in, this was

my only redemption and I wasn’t ready to let it go.

I looked down

from the cliff, it was about 15 feet high its base covered in rocks. I took a

deep breath shutting out the voices of the crowd telling me to turn back, I

wasn’t going to listen to anyone especially not them, all they wanted was a

thrilling story for their television station. This was it, I had finally given

up, given up on joy, love, happiness I had given up on life. I was going to

take this jump but I was not going to feel the fall. This would be my last

jump, the last action that was meant to cause me pain but this wouldn’t hurt,

not one bit. I looked at the trees opposite me, far away from where I stood

soon I was going to be part of nature inanimate being and all I had to do was

jump. I breathed, it would all be over very soon. I stretched my leg in front

of me, waiting for the fall, waiting for the thud, waiting for the screams and

waiting for the soothing pain but none of those ever came. I felt a hand grip

my arm and pull me back I tried flinching away from the touch bit it was firm

on me and reluctant to let me go. I began squirming wanting to get out of the

touch desperately but it was no use. Just as I was about to continue with my

struggle, the hand released his death grip and I tripped falling backwards. I

fell, hitting my head on a stray stone. I could feel the blood gushing out, but

this time it wasn’t from my suicide attempt. As I allowed the peaceful darkness

overwhelm me and I close my eyes in a sad but quiet sleep, all I could see

where flashes from the cameras that were taking my pictures.