Devotion to Danger

Scrubbing

{Clara’s POV}

[This chapter contains themes of S/A, kidnapping, assault, and blood, reader discretion is advised.]

“I hate to ask.. but.. could you go with me.. or at least help me find Adrien?” I asked, walking up next to him.

He smiled, nodding his head. “I’ll go with you, come on.” He said, as he lead me down the stairs and into the kitchen. He set his book down before walking to the fridge. He got out the takeout boxes and set them on the counter. “Let’s make you a plate, and I’ll heat it up for you.” He said, opening the boxes. “Anything that you particularly like?” He asked, looking over to me.

I shook my head, “I’ll try a little of everything.. this’ll be my first time eating takeout.” I smiled, grabbing a fork and beginning to fill up my plate. Once I got a little bit of everything he took it, and heated it up for me, before placing it back in front of me. There were noodles, buttered potatoes, a few different kinds of chicken, and some beef and broccoli, along with something he called a crab Rangoon. I looked down at the plate, it smelled delicious, I grabbed the fork and stared trying some of everything. It was amazing, some of the best food I’d ever had. “This is incredible!” I smiled.

He chuckled. “If you like this, you should try Chinese food in China, I traveled to Beijing not too long ago, there was an amazing restaurant there.” He smiled, looking over at me.

I was looking at him in awe, I’d never left home until now, but here he is talking about traveling to China. “That sounds amazing.. I’ve always wanted to travel, just never had the money or the time.” I shrugged. “Maybe one day though.”

“Travel is great, at least when you get where you’re going. I could do without the long plane rides, or ships, or trains, but once you’re there, once you finally get to see what you’ve been waiting to see, it’s incredible.” He smiled, it was as if he had stars in his eyes, he was so passionate about it.

I took a bite of the beef and broccoli, and smiled. “You really seem to enjoy it.”

“Me?” He smiled. “I always have enjoyed traveling.. though I don’t get to do it as often anymore.”

“Why not? You seem like someone who can do practically anything he wants.” I said, taking another bite.

He chuckled, a deep throaty chuckle, it nearly caused me to choke on the piece of chicken I had just eaten. So sweet, so unexpected, he looks so cold, but acts with nothing but kindness. “Yes.. well, I try.. but no one can do whatever they want with no consequences, and sometimes the consequences just aren’t worth it.”

I felt warmth spread across my cheeks as I nodded, looking back down to my food. I was still a bit drunk.. that’s what this was. It’s the alcohol making me look at him this way. “I suppose you’re right.. the consequences of getting out of the truck.. they were very nearly dire.. to the point where.. I feared for my life. Those men.. they would have done much worse than just kill me though.” Suddenly my appetite was gone, as I dropped my fork down onto my plate. “M-May I take a shower?”

He nodded, watching me intently. “Of course.. there should be one in the bathroom in your room. Take a shower, a bath.. whatever you need. We have a library down the hall here.. a gaming room, put in by Dimitri and Adrien, and there is a pool outside in the building adjacent to this one. Just don’t leave the grounds, not until my doctor checks you out in the morning.”

“Alright.. thank you..” I said, standing up and walking around the counter to his side. I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, as tears begin to spill down my cheeks. “Thank you, for saving my life.” I whimpered.

He stiffened as I hugged him, before he relaxed into it, his hand going to the top of my head, and brushing down my hair gently. “You shouldn’t thank me for that.. you shouldn’t have ever been put in that situation, and I’m sorry that you were.”

I pulled away, turning quickly and making my way up to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I made my way to the bathroom, and turned the water on, stripping off my clothes and stepping into the shower. I grabbed a loofa and began scrubbing my skin. I scrubbed, and scrubbed, trying to rid myself of this feeling of dirt.. of filth. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t scrub away the feeling of their hands on me.. of their ropes holding my hands above my head. I couldn’t rid myself of their voices, piercing into my mind.. of the vile things they said. I whimpered, falling against the cold tiles as I cried, scrubbing my skin until it turned red, and some parts even began to bleed. It wasn’t until then that I realized how much I had hurt myself. I stopped, looking down at my arms, now red, with blood coming up under the surface, bruises around my wrists, and patches of blood popping up on it.

I whimpered, pulling my knees to my chest, I didn’t want to leave the hot water.. but I no longer wanted to feel so exposed. My whole body felt wrong, as if it weren’t even my own. I was lucky.. I was saved before anyone was able to hurt me too badly.. before they were able to do what they wanted to me. I didn’t feel lucky though.. I felt wrong.. I felt sick.. I felt dirty, and like nothing I ever did would fix what was wrong with me now.