From Beta to Luna

Chapter 17 — The Goodbye

    “Damien, can you please talk to me? Please?” I pleaded for the fiftieth time that night. 

    Still, he refused to speak to me, refused to even look at me. I was beginning to get frustrated. We were in the middle of the Clearwaters’ anniversary party, and this would be my last night to spend with everybody before I had to pack up my life and go back to Emerald Moon territory with him. I wanted to spend the night celebrating with everybody else, not fighting with him. 

    “Damien, please,” I pleaded once more, growing exasperated. “I’m sorry, okay? Will you please talk to me?”

    Silence.

    I blew out an angry breath, the last of my patience finally running out. 

    “Fine!” I exclaimed as I struggled to stand up from my wheelchair. “Stay mad, I don’t care anymore!”

    The moment I was on my feet, however, he roughly grabbed my arm and forced me to sit back down, which suddenly blinded me in rage. 

    I snatched my arm from him and growled at him in warning. 

    “Do not f*****g grab me like that ever again,” I snarled viciously through gritted teeth, trying to keep my voice down so I wouldn’t disturb everyone else enjoying the party. “Do not ever touch me without my consent again.”

    He turned to look at me for the first time that night, his expression immediately softening and his eyes filling with regret. He reached his arms towards me again, to try and comfort me this time I’m sure, but I shoved him away from me. I felt my canines slowly protruding in my anger and immediately closed my eyes, breathing deeply to try and calm myself down. 

    “Raina, I’m sorry,” he apologized softly, causing me to open my eyes to look at him. 

    I felt my heart lurch slightly at the sight of him staring at me with such deep regret on his face, but I forced myself to keep my resolve steady. Mate or no mate, if he kept up with this whole grabbing me s**t, I would f*****g kill him. 

    “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you,” he continued, tentatively grabbing hold of my hand in his. “I promise I won’t do that again. But Raina, please, why didn’t you tell me about Lucas wanting you as his Luna? How am I supposed to protect you if you withhold information from me?”

    I sighed. 

    I was still pissed at him for grabbing me the way he did, but I also realized that he was right. I was in the wrong for keeping something like that from him, and I needed to swallow my pride and admit it.

    “I’m sorry, Damien,” I apologized, “you’re right. I should’ve told you as soon as I found out, I shouldn’t have waited. But you don’t have to worry about protecting me, okay? Lucas is not gonna take me away from you. I’m yours, and only yours.”

    He smiled weakly at me as if he was still unsure of my words, so I leaned forward, grimacing slightly at the pain of my shirt shifting over my wounds, and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. 

    “I promise,” I said quietly against his lips with a small smile, “nobody will ever take me away from you again.”

    He smiled in return before returning his lips to mine, initiating a deeper, needier kiss this time. 

    “Hey, hey, hey, the doctor said no strenuous activities, and I think this counts as strenuous activities.”

    I broke away from the kiss and looked up to see that it was Nathan who had interrupted us. I flashed him a smile, which he returned. Compared to how he had reacted when Owen and I had hooked up—or really any guy I’d ever hooked up with—he was surprisingly a lot more calm and okay with mine and Damien’s PDA. It must be because Damien’s actually my mate and not some random fling. 

    I bit back a smile before teasing him, “Goddess, can you just go find your own mate already so you can stop interrupting me with mine?”

    “Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” Nathan shot back with a smirk and a roll of his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m getting lectured about finding my mate from Miss I-Never-Want-A-Mate herself.”

    “When you find one as amazing as mine, it’s hard to turn him down,” I replied simply, now shooting Damien a teasing glance, “believe me, I tried.”

    He pouted at me as I laughed and brought a hand up to push his hair back slightly. “But I’m glad he wouldn’t let me. It’s as if the Moon Goddess herself was fighting for us to be together, and I was an i***t for trying to go against her fate for me.”

    He smiled at me, his eyes twinkling with love, as he leaned forward for another deep kiss. 

    The rest of the night passed by in a blur. We laughed and danced, and there were even some tears shed when it came time to toast to Alpha John and Luna Eve. Hearing everyone share their own stories of the two of them throughout the years, and eventually hearing each of them give their own little speeches about what the other meant to them, made my heart swell with happiness. I couldn’t help but wonder to myself if Damien and I would one day get to do this 30 years down the line, also surrounded by our closest friends and family. 

    I mentally laughed at the thought of me imagining our lives that far down the road. If I could go back in time and tell one-week-ago Raina that we’d actually be happy about finding our mate, she probably would’ve slapped the s**t out of me and called me a filthy liar. 

    It was a little hard to wrap my head around the fact that so much has happened in just the timespan of a week. My life had completely changed before I even realized it, and it suddenly made no sense to me why I was ever so worried about something like a silly title. Being with Damien was the most important thing to me now. Starting our lives together and helping him run his pack—our pack—and one day making it one of the strongest packs out there—strong enough to contend with the likes of Crystal Moon and Silver Moon—was now my new goal. 

    Beta Raina had her time to shine, but I suddenly found myself extremely excited for the mark that Luna Raina would leave on the world. 

    After the celebration was beginning to wind down for the night, I found myself sitting on Damien’s lap, his arms securely around me, as I nestled my head in the crook of his neck. We were surrounded by Xander, Olivia, Owen, Nathan, and Ethan, and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of both of my packs—my old one, and my new one—as well as our new sister pack all mingling together as one.

    After a few more minutes of happy chatter, I sleepily muttered to Damien that I was getting tired and wanted to head up soon. 

    “Okay, my love,” Damien responded with a smile as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. 

    Goddess, I loved the way he was so gentle with everything he did towards me— aside from when he’d randomly grab me, but we’re working on that. 

    “Alright, everybody, I think we’re gonna head up,” Damien announced to the group, carefully shifting me in his arms so he wouldn’t upset my wounds, “my Luna is tired.”

    I smiled against his neck. 

    My Luna.

    I loved hearing him call me that. 

    “Alright, goodnight guys,” Xander replied as Damien carefully set me down in my wheelchair. 

    “We’ll see you guys at breakfast. We all have a long day of driving ahead of us tomorrow,” Nathan said, flashing us a smile. 

    I bid everyone goodnight as Damien began pushing me back towards the packhouse. 

    “You know, I really love when you call me that,” I mused thoughtfully after a moment of silence. 

    “Call you what?” Damien asked. 

    “My Luna.”

    He chuckled before leaning down and kissing me on my cheek. “You are my Luna.”

    “I know,” I responded with a chuckle of my own, “but I just like the way it sounds coming from you.”

    “You know, I really can’t wait until you meet the rest of the pack. They’re gonna love you, and I already know you’re gonna be an amazing Luna to them.”

    I smiled slightly at the thought of getting to meet my new pack, hoping that they would accept me as openly as Damien and Ethan both have. “I hope so.”

    Once we reached the packhouse’s steps, Damien carefully helped me stand up before folding the chair up and bringing it inside first. Then, he came back for me, and in one swift movement, I was up in his strong arms, bridal style. I laughed at him before nestling my head in the crook of his neck, my hand resting against his firm chest. 

    In such a short amount of time, Damien became such a comforting presence in my life. I now understand what everyone always said about not being able to live without their mates because if anything ever happened to him, I’m not sure if I’d be able to survive by myself. 

    After Damien helped me get changed into some more comfortable clothes for sleeping and gently removing my makeup for me, he made sure I was comfortable in bed before carefully nestling himself behind me. Afraid he’d hurt me, he kept his arm low, wrapped around my hip rather than my waist, and snuggled against my back. 

    I smiled at the warmth and comfort his body brought me, feeling my already heavy eyelids getting heavier by the second. 

    Right before sleep totally consumed me, I vaguely felt Damien kiss the top of my head and quietly murmur, “Goodnight, my love. I can’t wait for you to meet our pack tomorrow.”

————

    The next morning was a bit of a blur. There were a lot of heartfelt goodbyes in between bites of food, a lot of hugging, and a lot of congratulations. Many of the other Alphas in attendance personally came by to find me in order to say bye before leaving, the most notable one being Alpha Aiden. 

    “You know, when Xander first introduced you as his Beta, I thought he was crazy,” he had admitted to me with a sheepish smile on his face. “But watching you in action this week… It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Wherever you end up, I know you’ll do amazing things. I just wanted you to know that I have two young daughters waiting for me back at home, and they’re going to lose their s**t when I tell them all about you.”

    I laughed at this as I hugged him goodbye. “I hope they grow up to be incredibly strong and powerful she-wolves. Who knows, maybe one day, one of them will become the first female Alpha with a pack of her own to lead.”

    He pulled away from the hug and beamed at me. “If they grow up to be even half as strong and courageous as you, I’ll be happy.”

    Damien came up behind me and wove his arms around my waist as Alpha Aiden walked away. Most of my wounds have closed up by now, the speed of my healing surprising even me a bit. Other than being a bit tender near my stomach, I was feeling a lot better than the first day that I was brought in to the pack doctor. 

    “You’re slowly changing the world, one little girl’s hopes and dreams at a time,” Damien said near my ear, causing me to giggle slightly as his breath tickled my skin. 

    “I hope so,” I responded, placing my hands on top of his with a smile on my face. “I hope every little girl out there who feels like they’re too weak to do something can look to me as an example and be like ‘if Raina can do it, then so can I’. I just wanna make it easier for the next generation of she-wolves.”

    “That’s quite a lofty goal.”

    I smiled at the amusement I heard in his voice as I tilted my head back against his chest to look up at him to find him already looking down at me. How on earth did I get so lucky to be able to call this perfect man mine?

    “Are you guys ready? The car is packed, and we’re ready to head out whenever you guys are,” Ethan’s voice suddenly sounded. 

    Damien kissed me on the forehead before ushering me towards the front door. I found Xander and Olivia already out there, saying goodbye to her parents, as Nathan was busy with lifting the last few bags into the car. I made my way over and hugged both Alpha John and Luna Eve, sincerely thanking them for everything they’ve done for me since I’ve been here and accepting me with open arms as soon as I stepped onto their pack lands. 

    After breaking away, I turned to Owen, who was looking at me with a slightly sad expression before he expertly hid it behind his dazzling smile. 

    I chuckled at him before throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. 

    “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me this week,” I said quietly so only he could hear, “and thank you for being so understanding about… everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had decided to go all macho man and tried to fight Damien over me.”

    He laughed before breaking the hug and pulling me to arms length so he could look me in the face. 

    “You were never mine to begin with Raina, we both knew that already,” Owen responded with a smile. “I would never do anything that would cause you any pain. I hope that whenever I find my mate, she’ll be just as amazing as you.”

    I smiled at him, my hand coming up to rest on his arm in a reassuring gesture. “She will be even more amazing because she'll be yours, and only yours. Whoever she is, she’s lucky to have you as her mate.”

    We hugged again one last time before Damien came over to say his goodbyes as well. I didn’t bother with goodbyes to Xander, Nathan, or Olivia since we were all heading to Silver Moon territory together, and instead, turned to wave goodbye to the remaining Clearwaters one last time before taking Damien’s hand and allowing him to lead me towards the car. 

    Once we got in and began our 3 hour journey back to Silver Moon territory, I couldn’t help but think back to the drive that I’d made up here a week and a half ago with Nathan and Xander. Bits and pieces of the conversation during the drive came floating back in my memory, and I could only laugh to myself about how dumb and naive I had been. 

    If only I’d known just how amazing having a mate was, maybe I wouldn’t have spent all that time worrying for nothing. 

    “Are you comfortable?” Damien’s voice suddenly snapped me from my mental babble. 

    I shook my head slightly before looking at him, a smile instantly making its way on my face as I leaned in closer to his side, relishing in the warmth and comfort his arms around me offered. 

    “Yeah,” I breathed contentedly, “I’m perfect.”

————

    “Wake up, my love, we’re here.”

    I stirred slightly at Damien’s soft voice as I opened my eyes, trying to blink the sleepiness away. Stretching my arms above me and trying—and failing—to stifle a yawn, I looked out the window and smiled at the familiarity of home. I immediately got out of the car, taking in the woodsy scent of the place I grew up in, unable to fight the excited smile beaming on my face. 

    Goddess, it felt good to be home. 

    A slight pang of sadness hit me when I reminded myself that it was only temporary. In a few hours, my whole life here will be packed up, and I’d soon have a new place to call home. 

    “Beta Raina, Beta Raina!”

    “Oof!”

    I was suddenly overtaken by a horde of tiny limbs and smiling faces as some of the pack’s children came running over in greeting. 

    “Hi guys, I’ve missed you!” I squealed in happiness, squatting down so I was closer to their height. 

    “How was the conference?” a little blonde girl asked me, flashing me her toothy grin. “Did you kick any of the guys’ butts while you were there?”

    I laughed as I ruffled her hair and replied, “Yeah, I taught ’em a thing or two when they thought they could mess with me. You should’ve seen their faces when they got beat by a girl.”

    She giggled at this, seemingly content with my answer, before another little girl gasped at something behind me, her eyes wide. 

    She leaned in close to me and cupped her hands, whispering near my ear, “Don’t look now, but there’s a really hot guy behind you.”

    I turned to follow her gaze and almost keeled over in laughter when I saw that she was talking about Damien. Damien was leaning against the car with his arms crossed against his chest, watching me interact with the kids with a smile on his face. I couldn’t help but to notice the tender, loving light that was shining brightly in his eyes. 

    “That’s Alpha Damien,” I said as I turned back to face the children, “he’s the Alpha of our new sister pack. Go say hi and give him a proper Silver Moon welcome!”

    They immediately rushed over to him, taking him by surprise. I suppressed my laughter as they began hanging from his arms and treating him like a jungle gym, but my eyes instantly softened when I saw the way he treated them with gentle care and playing along with them rather than swat them away in annoyance. 

    He’d make a great father one day. 

    I blinked at my own thoughts. 

    Whoa, whoa, whoa. One step at a time, Raina. Pups weren’t going to be a thing for a long time. 

    Some of the other pack members came over to greet me and welcome me home, and I suddenly realized that none of them knew about my leaving yet. 

    f**k me. 

    Announcing to the Allyship about my stepping down as Beta was one thing, but announcing it to the pack was something that completely slipped my mind. I was suddenly feeling extremely nervous, but I pushed those thoughts aside. I couldn’t be nervous now, not when my mind had been made up already. 

    Politely breaking away from the sizable crowd that was now gathering around Xander and Olivia as everyone tried to get a glimpse of their new Luna, I walked over to Damien and the children and began prying them off of him, ignoring their cries of protest. 

    “Now, now, kids, Alpha Damien has had a long journey here, and he still has a long way to go before he’s back at his own home,” I lightly chided to quiet their protests. “Besides, Alpha Xander’s found his mate! Don’t you wanna go meet your new Luna?”

    They all collectively gasped, staring at each other with wide eyes before running off into the crowd. I laughed at their reaction before Damien suddenly swept me into his arms, turning me around so the front of my body was now flush against his. I blushed slightly at the sudden move as I looked up into his smiling face. 

    “I should’ve known you’d be amazing with children,” he said softly, gently reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I love how they adore you.”

    I laughed, bringing my hands up and linking them behind his neck. “I’ve been training them ever since I took over as Beta. They said they wanna become a Beta one day, just like me.”

    He smiled before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. “You’re gonna be an amazing mother one day.”

    “Hopefully not for a long, long time,” I responded, and I rolled my eyes at the pout he gave me. 

    Grabbing onto his hand, I ushered him to follow me so we could head to the packhouse and begin packing up my things. Everyone we passed gawked at Damien and me, and I felt the jealousy stir in me slightly when I noticed most of the women batting their lashes at him as he passed by them. One look from me, though, sent them scurrying, knowing I wouldn’t waste any time in kicking their ass if they tried to make a move on what was mine. 

    This seemed to amuse Damien because as soon as we made it to my room, he smirked at me and lightly teased, “And here I was beginning to think you weren’t capable of getting jealous. I kinda like seeing you a little jealous and possessive over me.”

    I flushed in embarrassment as I turned away from him and began throwing my scarce belongings in a box. 

    “I’m not jealous,” I lied, refusing to look at him. “If you’re easily won over by some cheap floozy, then you were never really mine to begin with, right?”

    I yelped slightly in surprise when I suddenly found myself thrown onto my bed, pinned between the soft mattress and his hard body. My hands pressed against his chest to try and create some sort of distance between us, and I was hyper aware of how my body suddenly felt like it was on fire again, except this time, it was an extremely pleasurable fire. 

    He growled lowly at me and said, “I’m yours, and only yours. Nobody can ever steal me away from you.”

    I smiled at this and nodded at him, running my hands up his chest before joining them behind his neck. He shuddered slightly under my touch, and I smiled again in satisfaction, loving how his body reacted to my touch the same way mine reacted to his. 

    “Damien, as much as I love being underneath you—” He growled lowly at this, his eyes darkening a few shades in lust, which caused me to giggle slightly, “—we really can’t be doing this right now because I have to finish packing. I wanna go home. Our home.”

    He groaned quietly before placing a quick kiss on my lips and reluctantly letting me free. 

    We spent the next hour or so packing my things away, and I was suddenly feeling grateful that I didn’t have many belongings. It was making packing my life up a lot less painful. The main things that tied me to Silver Moon weren’t exactly material possessions, but rather the people—namely, Xander and Nathan. 

    After folding the last of my clothes and tucking them neatly into a suitcase, I was only left with 5 large boxes and 4 large suitcases. I took one last look around my room and sighed. I had no idea that the last night I’d slept in here before we left for the conference would be the last night I’d sleep in here ever again. It’s crazy sometimes how fast life can change. 

    “Do you have everything?”

    I looked over at Damien and smiled at him before nodding.

    “I’ll have some of the guys bring my boxes and stuff down,” I said as I grabbed hold of his outstretched hand. “I guess… I guess it’s time to say goodbye to everyone.”

    As we made our way back down the stairs, I noticed how quiet it was, which made me feel a little suspicious. What was going on?

    But as soon as we opened the front door, I was startled by sudden applause and loud cheering, and then I understood. 

    The entire pack—every man, woman, and child—was out on the lawn, lined up on either side of a makeshift pathway that led to Damien’s car. Xander, Olivia, and Nathan were at the very front of the group, smiling at me, and I suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the emotions flooding through me at once as happy tears began falling. 

    Xander walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. I clung to his frame as I took in his familiar scent and embrace, hoping I would never forget what it felt like to hug him. 

    “I’m so happy for you, Raina,” he murmured into my hair as I cried into his shoulder. “We’re gonna miss you.”

    “I love you, Xander,” I responded in between my tears. “I love you so much, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me.”

    I was pulled from his arms by Olivia and suddenly found myself in her warm embrace next. 

    “You have my number, so call me if you ever need anything, okay?” she said as she pulled away and smiled at me. “We can figure out this whole Luna thing together.”

    I laughed at her through my tears and nodded. “You be good to my brother, okay? Don’t be afraid to kick his ass every now and then, he’ll need it to check his ego and keep him humble.”

    She laughed in response before leaning into Xander’s side as his arm went to wrap around her. I smiled at the sight of them. 

    They’ll be a wonderful Alpha and Luna pair for the pack. 

    I moved down the line to stand in front of Nathan, who was staring down at the ground and looking like he was on the verge of tears. 

    Gently cradling his face, I lifted his head up so he was looking at me, which immediately caused his tears to begin falling. He pulled me into his arms, and I threw my arms around his neck, my feet now dangling a few inches off the ground as we clung to each other. 

    My Nathan. My dear, sweet Nathan. 

    I was going to miss him the most. 

    He set me back down on my feet after a few moments but still didn’t make any movements to let me go. 

    “I’m gonna miss you, Raina,” he murmured against my hair after another moment of silence, “so, so much.”

    I smiled, finally breaking out of the embrace so I could now look him in the eyes. “This isn’t a goodbye forever, okay? Emerald Moon is only an hour away by car, and maybe 20 minutes by wolf. We’ll see each other again.”

    He nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

    I placed a hand against his cheek and lightly teased, “You better not f**k up all the hard work I put into training our warriors, okay? If I come back and find that they’ve all turned into a bunch of wusses, I’m making you run laps until you puke.”

    He laughed at me before flashing me a smile. “Deal.”

    I smiled at him for a moment, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness overtake me, as I said, “I’m really happy that out of everybody that could’ve done so, you’re the one who’s gonna replace me. Take care of the pack. You’re gonna be a great Beta.”

    He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, which I returned on his cheek, before I finally turned away to address the pack. 

    “Silver Moon,” I addressed, feeling the tears brimming my eyes once more. “Almost a year ago now, Xander entrusted me as his Beta. He took a chance on me knowing the potential backlash he’d receive from naming a female Beta, and I’m forever grateful to him for doing so. I’d like to thank you all for accepting me and believing in my abilities to help lead you. Silver Moon will always be my home, and you will always be my family. This isn’t a goodbye forever. I look forward to seeing everyone again, as a part of your new sister pack.”

    Everyone cheered and applauded, some shouting out congratulations as well. I stood there and smiled for a moment before I felt Damien’s familiar hand grabbing hold of mine. I smiled before leaning into his frame, resting my head against his arm. 

    “Let’s go home, Damien.”