Chapter Ten:The Choice -Sebastian
1875 Words
I cried the entire night.
I don’t remember when I finally fell asleep.
I only remember lying on my bed with tears soaking my pillow, asking the same questions over and over again.
Why me?
Why Kai?
Why now?
By morning, my eyes were swollen.
My face looked terrible.
I could barely recognize myself in the mirror.
Still, I put on my vestments and went to morning Mass.
I tried to act normal.
I failed.
People noticed.
Several parish members looked at me with concern.
“Sebastian, are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I smiled whenever someone asked.
But everyone could see that I was lying.
After Mass, Father Archie approached me.
“Sebastian.”
I knew that tone.
“Yes, Father?”
“My office.”
I followed him.
The moment the door closed, he turned toward me.
“What happened?”
I tried to speak.
Nothing came out.
Father Archie waited.
Then everything broke.
I started crying.
Again.
I covered my face.
“I don’t know what to do.”
He walked toward me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Tell me.”
I took a shaky breath.
“Alpha Kai…”
Father Archie already knew.
“He told me.”
“What did he tell you?”
“That I’m his mate.”
Father Archie nodded slowly.
“I see.”
“I don’t know what to do!”
My voice cracked.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”
I wiped my face.
“I promised God.”
Father Archie remained quiet.
“When I was twelve, I promised Him that if my mother survived, I would give my life to the Church.”
“I remember.”
“I meant it.”
“I know.”
“I still mean it.”
My voice became firmer.
“I want to be a priest.”
Father Archie nodded.
“And if Kai is my mate, then…”
I swallowed.
“I will choose the Church.”
The words hurt coming out.
“I can’t break my promise to God.”
Father Archie pulled out a chair.
“Sit.”
I sat.
He waited until my breathing calmed.
Then he spoke.
“Sebastian, I am not here to tell you what choice to make.”
I looked at him.
“The decision is yours.”
He paused.
“But I need you to understand something.”
“What?”
“The mate bond is sacred.”
I nodded.
“I know.”
“No. You know the definition.”
He looked directly into my eyes.
“You don’t yet understand the consequences.”
I became quiet.
“If you reject Kai, you will not simply be rejecting a relationship.”
“What will happen?”
Father Archie sighed.
“You are human. Your body and mind aren’t connected to the bond in the same way his are.”
I listened carefully.
“Kai is a wolf.”
“Yes.”
“And not just an ordinary wolf.”
My heart tightened.
“He comes from one of the oldest Alpha bloodlines.”
I remembered the way Kai had looked.
Powerful.
Controlled.
Almost intimidating.
Father Archie continued.
“His bloodline carries old magic.”
“Magic?”
“Ancient Alpha magic. It has been passed through his family for generations.”
I stared at him.
“And what does that mean?”
“It means Kai’s wolf is unusually powerful.”
Father Archie leaned back.
“If you reject him, he will be affected severely.”
My stomach twisted.
“How severely?”
“He may fall into a deep depression.”
I lowered my eyes.
“After that, his wolf may become unstable.”
“Unstable?”
“He could become aggressive. Violent. Reckless.”
I looked up sharply.
“Violent?”
“I’m not telling you this to frighten you.”
Father Archie spoke gently.
“I’m telling you because you deserve to understand what you’re dealing with.”
He continued.
“Kai is an Alpha. A very powerful one. His emotions are connected to his pack.”
I understood.
“So if he loses control…”
“The pack could feel it.”
My heart sank.
“He could damage his relationships. His judgment could become impaired. His wolf could push him toward destructive decisions.”
“Could he hurt people?”
Father Archie hesitated.
“If he completely loses control, yes.”
I felt sick.
“His people?”
“Possibly.”
I covered my mouth.
“No.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want that.”
“I know.”
Father Archie leaned forward.
“But listen to me carefully.”
I looked at him.
“I’m not saying you should choose Kai because you’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t.”
I nodded slowly.
“You must never make a life-changing decision purely out of fear.”
His words settled over me.
“But you need to understand the consequences of either choice.”
I looked down at my hands.
“What happens if I choose the Church?”
“You will continue toward priesthood.”
“And Kai?”
“He will have to deal with the rejection.”
My chest tightened.
“And if I choose him?”
“You would be giving up the path you’ve spent years preparing for.”
I closed my eyes.
There it was.
The impossible choice.
My promise to God.
My future in the Church.
And a man I had never known existed until recently.
Father Archie continued.
“Kai has been mateless longer than almost any Alpha of his generation.”
I looked at him.
“Eleven years.”
“Yes.”
“He could have taken another woman.”
“He could have.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because he wanted his mate.”
I remembered his face.
The fear in his eyes.
The vulnerability.
The way he had said he had waited eleven years.
Father Archie continued.
“There were rumors that Kai was lucky to be mateless.”
“Why?”
“Some wolves believe a mate is a weakness.”
I nodded.
“But Kai never believed that.”
“No.”
“He wanted someone to love.”
I swallowed.
“He wanted someone to protect.”
“Yes.”
Father Archie looked at me carefully.
“And Sebastian, there is something you should understand.”
“What?”
“Kai could probably force this situation if he wanted to.”
My eyes widened.
“But he hasn’t.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because he respects you.”
The words struck me.
“He knows you have dreams.”
“He knows what the Church means to you.”
“He knows you have spent years preparing for this.”
“He wants you to choose freely.”
I stared at the floor.
“He’s giving me a choice.”
“Yes.”
“And that makes it worse.”
Father Archie sighed.
“I understand.”
I covered my face.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I know.”
“You told me I could be a good priest.”
“You would be.”
“I love the Church.”
“I know.”
“I love serving people.”
“I’ve watched you do it.”
“I love helping people.”
“You have a gift for it.”
I looked at him through my tears.
“Then why did God give me this?”
Father Archie didn’t answer.
“I don’t know,” he finally admitted.
And somehow, that honesty hurt more than anything.
He placed his hand over mine.
“Don’t rush.”
“How can I not rush?”
“Pray.”
“I’ve been praying.”
“Then pray harder.”
A broken laugh escaped me.
“I don’t know what else to say to God.”
“Then sit in silence.”
I looked at him.
“Sometimes you don’t need words.”
⸻
I returned to the chapel.
I knelt.
And I prayed.
For hours.
I prayed until my knees hurt.
I prayed until my throat became dry.
I prayed for God to give me an answer.
I prayed for Kai.
I prayed for his pack.
I prayed for my mother.
I prayed for the Church.
I prayed for everyone except myself.
Eventually, I couldn’t stop crying.
“God, please.”
My forehead touched the floor.
“I need an answer.”
Nothing.
“Please.”
My breathing became uneven.
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
I closed my eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt You either.”
My tears fell onto the floor.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to choose.”
I prayed again.
And again.
And again.
Until exhaustion took over.
My body became weak.
My vision blurred.
The last thing I remember was whispering,
“Please show me the way.”
Then everything went dark.
⸻
I was standing in the forest again.
The same forest.
The same darkness.
And there he was.
The black wolf.
But this time, something was terribly wrong.
The wolf wasn’t simply sad.
It was howling.
A deep, agonizing howl echoed through the trees.
It sounded like grief.
Like loneliness.
Like something inside the creature was breaking.
I froze.
“Stop.”
The wolf looked at me.
Its eyes were filled with pain.
It howled again.
I covered my ears.
“Please!”
But the sound continued.
It shook me.
It frightened me.
And somehow…
I felt the pain.
It wasn’t just hearing the wolf.
I could feel its sorrow.
Its loneliness.
Its desperation.
I started crying.
“Why are you sad?”
The wolf stared at me.
Then its howl became softer.
Almost like a plea.
I took one step toward it.
And suddenly—
I woke up.
I gasped.
My eyes flew open.
I was still on the chapel floor.
For several seconds, I didn’t move.
My heart was pounding.
I was terrified.
I looked around.
The chapel was quiet.
Empty.
Real.
I slowly pushed myself up.
My hands were shaking.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the wolf.
Its eyes.
Its howl.
Its pain.
And then Alpha Kai’s face appeared in my mind.
I remembered the way he had looked when I asked to leave.
The hurt.
The fear.
The desperation.
I pressed a hand against my chest.
It hurt.
“God…”
My voice trembled.
“What are You trying to tell me?”
There was no answer.
I stood slowly.
I wiped my face.
Then I returned to my room.
I closed the door.
I knelt beside my bed.
And I prayed again.
Because I still didn’t know what choice I was supposed to make.
But for the first time, one frightening thought had entered my mind.
Maybe the wolf in my dreams wasn’t a random dream.
Maybe it wasn’t just a story my mind had created.
Maybe…
It was trying to show me something.
And I was terrified of finding out what.
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