Truth (Chapter 8)
699 Words
~CODY'S POV~
~Day:2
I haven't seen him.
Ever since that day it seems like he has completely vanished. Where could he be? Why do I care? Do I...have feelings for this complete stranger?
~Day:9
I'm currently pushing around this brown, chunky slob on my lunch tray...watching the doors. This has been me every day so far, and no matter how much I beg he hasn't come back. That thought alone...the thought of never seeing him again...destroyed me. That burning sensation has only gotten worse, and I'm getting these terrible headaches. Leo has tried to comfort me-...
-but I'm not listening. He's the reason all this happened. He's the reason I've been drowning in guilt. He's the reason I stopped eating-talking-caring. No matter how hard I try, or how many Lady Gaga songs I listen to...the guy is all that's on my mind. Even in my dreams I imagine his heart shattering look. I- I'm hopelessly head over heels for him, and I don't want to believe it.
~Day:24
"Cody? Dude, you...you don't look so good. When's the last time you ate?"
I stab my fork into the potatoes I had no intention of eating. Why does he care? Ha. That's just it...he doesn't. He doesn't care how I feel, he only wants someone to talk to. 24 days...24 days the guy has been gone, and 24 days since my last meal. My grades are coming to a grinding halt, and are now impossible to improve by the time report cards come out. Dead. Dead is what I am.
"Cody?"
...
"Co-"
"Shut up."
Leo flinches at the sharpness in my voice. Hell, even I was shocked. But do I care? No.
I stopped caring a long time ago. My mom's getting worried about me, because I haven't been my usual self. She doesn't comment, but every time I make an excuse to not eat or lay in my bed just staring at the ceiling...I see the looks she gives me. It's that motherly 'I want to help you' look, but she can't help me. Only one person can, and he refuses to even show up. Damn him! Damn him for making me like this...damn them all...
"Cody, i-is this about the Mike thing?" Leo asks in a whisper, but doesn't dare to get any closer. Almost immediately my body goes stiff. Mike? His name is Mike...what a gorgeous name for a gorgeous male. Finally, a name to the face I cannot get off of my mind.
"M-Mike..." I sniffle, burying my face into my crossed arms. I need him. I need his forgiveness, and I need it now. Mike, Mike please. Please.
~Day:91
"How have you been Cody? I see you've been working hard. I'm proud of you."
I stare over to the man sitting in front of me, studying my reflection in his glasses. It's true. I had been working on eating more, and it brought my color back from deadly white to a snowy glow. It's been hard, having no motivation and all...but I'm getting through this. The burning has dimmed down to nothing but a painful memory. A memory of him. I flicker my gaze back to the ground, not wanting to see my therapist's face any more than I had to.
"Hm..." Is my reply, as my eyes become their blank state once again.
"Are you thinking about him Cody? About Mike?"
"Hm..."
"Ah, I see." The scratchy, irritating noise of graphite on paper makes me cringe, directing my attention to the silver surface of his clipboard. That solid grey color only causes a sharp pain surge through my chest. It looked just like his eyes. Those beautiful...icy eyes. "-and are these thoughts positive or negative?"
"Dunno..."
"Cody, give me a clear answer now, okay?"
"...both."
"Good, good. Now we're getting somewhere." He flashes me a crooked grin, pencil positioned on a new line. "Do you still hear..." His grin slowly cracks to a flat line, seriousness taking over his expression. "...the voice?"
"Hm..."
More scratching.
"And what has this voice been telling you?"
"That I shouldn't do it, sir."
"Shouldn't do what Cody?"
"Kill myself."
"Do...do you want to Cody?"
"Hm..."
The scratches stop.
- Writer
