Misery

Chapter Five

I can't open up to you

Me and my friends are lonely

I don't know what to do

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

I cope smothered in smoke

Dehydrate my soul

I know things that you don't

I've met murdering folk

And they took one of our own

They took our innocent home

So I can't open up to you

Me and my friends are lonely

I don't know what to do

I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

 - Matt Maeson (Me And My Friends Are Lonely)

 For a were, they usually found their soulmate by the age of eighteen - sometimes taking until twenty. Most having known from their first shift. Fate always seemed to draw mates together. Though that was not always the case - it was how it was for most. For both Felix and Atticus Graves, they found themselves the odd ones out on this. Both brothers having struggled to believe either had mates out there for them.

 It was why when Atticus wolf felt interest - despite not being a mate pull, he considered pursuing the feisty she-wolf the Centurion pack had caught at first. Though his wolf scoffed and said he felt this wild creature to be family. Not a mate. Maybe a sister... It was unheard of for family to feel a pull towards a close members mate in such a way. But it wasn't common enough for Atticus to have thought for a moment that maybe the she wolf was his brothers mate.

 Atticus was twenty seven, and Felix was thirty. Much older then the spitfire that had caught his attentions. Another fact that was uncommon. Most mates had little to no gap in age. In some rare cases of powerful were beasts, there had been cases of such. Where the moon goddess made one wait for a mate matched to them.

 Love and cherish your mate. That was what their parents had raised them on. When their little sister had found her mate ate eighteen, and the pair of them both remained mateless... It left a lonely ache in the brothers. With the knowledge that it was likely both their mates had simply died before they ever had a chance to find them.

 Their father had not been a man who pressured either to take a chosen mate before passing on the pack to his sons. While his sons might have given up hope that the moon goddess would bless them with mates, Callum Graves had never lost hope both sons would find the other halves of their souls.

 Felix had not told anyone but his brother about his suspicion. His wolf had been excited nine years back. When in search for his mate he'd made plans to visit the Berserker pack. His wolf had not shut up, been anxious and certain that their wait would be over. They'd find their mate. But then the pack had been decimated by the grouping of packs. His wolf had been left depressed. Certain that his mate had perished with the pack.

 No one knew why... But sometimes wolves could feel such information they should not know. A powerful connection to their other half. Felix had hoped that maybe his wolf had been wrong. He'd been wrong. But as the years dragged on... He'd resigned to the belief he'd had a mate - but she'd been taken from this world before he could find her. Before he could protect her.

 So when he'd stepped out of a meeting with Alpha Ragnar - and his wolf had started howling and rattling about his mind trying to get him to stop speaking to his brother - and to look around the room. Something he'd ignored until the most intoxicating scent faintly teased his senses. The wild scent of the forest after rain. His wolf howled as finally he listened. Head snapping in the direction the faint sent was wafting from. To meet rust brown eyes.

 "Mate?!" his wolf and him spoke as one out loud - out of joy - out of shock and disbelief. All of which happened to be clear in the tone of their combined voice. Anubis whined as he watched his beautiful mate turn abruptly despite clearly seeing she understood what he was to her - and run.

  Why is mate running from us? Anubis whined, pressing against Felix control, desperate to run after his mate. The woman he'd been looking for. Been longing for over half his life. So surprised by the situation. Of finding his mate and having her run from him, it was little effort for Anubis to gain the control he'd desired. Without an answer to whatever questions came from around him, or care for who he pushed out of his way - in a storm of breaking bones and tearing clothing, a wolf so black it seemed to swallow the light. Only the pale glowing silver of his eyes cutting through the pitch black.

 Anubis panicked at the idea his mate was running from him. The one he'd ached for all these years. He was sure as a wolf he could catch his mate. Uncertain of what he'd do once he did. Just knowing that he could not lose the other half of his soul. Not now that he'd finally found it. He called out for her - his mate. For her wolf in a powerful howl. Hoping perhaps it was just her human being surprised. Hoping calling for her wolf she'd come to calm. To see him.

 Finding where she had exited the pack house in haste to escape him. His furry form breaking the door as he burst from the confines of the house. No doubt his human side would have some apologies to make with the state he would be leaving the house... But surely the other Alpha could understand the desperation of his wolf getting his mate?

  Valkyrie heard her mates howl - as did Xena. Both having both been shocked and overjoyed when the scent had first entered their senses. So much so they had forgotten their human and her strong view on not having a mate. Not being able to trust one. But the moment she'd turned and ran it had caused them pain. Their other half had looked so confused as she'd turned and ran. One look over her shoulder and they had seen the panic, the hurt of their mate at Persephone's sudden departure.

 They knew why Persephone felt a lack of trust for anyone. All the reasons why she feared the idea of ever having a mate - why she had gone so long trying to convince them - and herself - that they had no mate... or if they did, why she needed to do exactly what she was now.

 Run. Escape. Leave them behind.

 But for the beasts trusting their mate was less a choice... It was instinctual. Built into their very soul. And that meant hers as well. Her active decision to run left her at war with herself. Not just the wailing of her beasts wanting their mate. Because no matter how much she had prepared herself for such an occasion, she could have never prepared for these facts. It was rare for a mated pair to fight against the bond, be it one sided or both. It was painful. Fate destined her to be tied to Felix.

  Unfortunately, fate had also broken her down to the lonely shattered soul she was now. One that balked at the idea of trusting anyone. Even one her soul pleaded her to accept.

 Her surprise reaction had at least given her a few moments head start. The panic causing her to forget the reason she hadn't shifted in the first place to escape the Centurion pack. At least she had enough sense not to turn into one of her hybrid forms, but rather exploding into the beautiful gold and white wolf that was purely Valkyries form. Though the wolf her for her body, so she might turn and run towards her mate.

 Stop Valkyrie! We don't need him. We don't need anyone. We just need each other! Persephone beseeched her wolf as they battled for control. It was how they had lived their lives since her packs destruction. The idea of changing that felt terrifying. The idea of having someone who could matter to her - someone new to lose... It set her heart racing in further panic.

  Valkyrie whined and howled in her mind, as if half mad from her humans attempts to deny what a the goddess had gifted her. But mate! Mate was made for us, Persephone! He was made to stand by us, to love us! To protect us!

 Persephone did not stop fighting her beasts. We can protect ourselves! We don't need a mate for that! She had lost so much already... She had no way of knowing how long her mate had ached to find her. Didn't know the desperation of which him and his wolf felt, the panic at losing her before he could truly grasp her.

  Chest heaving, the fight between body and mind exhausted her. Fighting against her very nature. Fighting against two beasts in her mind chanting mate. Calling out to Anubis. Leaving the human feeling betrayed by those she never thought would betray her.

  We're close! Anubis yipped excitedly to his human. He could see the flashes of the golden tipped fur as the wolf - his mate - dipped between trees. My mate wants to accept us. Felix' wolf was clearly overjoyed that his half wanted him. Though Felix understood there seemed to be some part - her human part - less than ecstatic. To the point she was trying to deny fate.

 Trees started to thin and more rocks and ledges came in the way. The obsidian wolf gaining slow and steady on the gold wolf. Determined now as the initial panic had subsided. Soon he'd have his mate. His pretty golden queen. Finally she stood panting at a cliff ledge. Her pale eyed gaze looking at the gaping mouth between it and the next. A jump that looked like a death wish - A waterfall to to her other side disappearing into a mist that whispered promises of death. Anubis was sure his mate would now have no where to run. The sound of bones snapping faded to a grunt as a now very naked, very human form of Felix stood looking at Persephone. Deep chocolate eyes pleading with her to be careful near the ledge.

 "Why do you run from me, mate?" his wolf once again speaking along with him. Deep and gravel tones giving the fact away. A note of hurt still laced within the question he felt was simple. His mates wild eyes looked at him. Her body tense, breathing heavy, eyes darting between his captivating gaze that called to her like a sirens song. Heart aching to step closer - while her mind screamed to get further away.

 She did not shift. Each could feel the pull. And each knew they both felt it. That invisible string trying to once more make their souls one again. A whine breaking from her muzzle. Persephone please. Just give mate a chance! A growl to her wolf. The battle between human and beasts clear in her panicked expression.

 Persephone snarled as he stepped towards her. The aggression and lack of trust seemed to pain him. As it did her beasts. Xena roared in her mind. The might of it causing her wolf form to shudder, stop Persephone!

 "Please shift - so we can talk," his voice sounded smoother, rich. Lacking the gravel that seemed to come when his wolf spoke through him, or with him. His tone was soothing. The calm that tried to spread through the she-wolf was double edged. A moment she seemed to relax. The next it appeared as if the panic returned in a moment.

 It's unnatural! I cannot trust a stranger. I don't care if he is our mate! she continued arguing with her beasts. It was not a rational mind that lead to her next action. Far from it. It was her panicked lack of thought that lead to her twisting around and leaping into the turning frigid waters to her side.

 Persephone! the now panicked cry of Valkyrie broke through to the human. Realizing what she'd done. She'd thought going over a waterfall was somehow a better option. The current dragging her over the edge. Along with her body her heart plummeted. Her mates heart dropped as he lunge trying to grab her. But he'd been to far. Her body contorted as she fell. Xena forcing herself forward. The tiger twisting and trying to take control of the fall. Giving her own silent prayer to the moon goddess that the waterfall would not have ice floating about waiting to shatter their body... And hope enough of the winter chill had not frozen the waters she'd be able to surface safely from the falling fist of river water.

 It was both a fraction of a second and an eternity before the tigers body collided into the water, and agony blossomed through her massive form.

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 Weee. I'd call it a cliff hanger .... but apparently there was no hanging going on. Just falling. Hahaha. Okay okay.

 So what do you all think is going to happen next? Do you think that Xena will get Persephone out of this mess? Do you think that Felix will choose to do what she just did and risk the fall with the waterfall? Or lose time taking a longer, safer route?