BONNIE HAD MOVED in with me two months prior. She worked out of our apartment selling bath-bombs, shower gel, and other perfumey s**t on Etsy. It was now taking up most of our closet space and was a little irritating, but when you love someone, you learn not to sweat the small stuff.
As I walked in the door, I was still flying high and had no idea what was about to unfold. Not until I walked into the bedroom and all hell broke loose.
“What the actual f**k?” I gasped, seeing my neighbor—a piece of s**t d**g dealer—balls-deep inside Bonnie. If that wasn’t bad enough, he shot his load as our eyes met.
“Graham!” Bonnie squealed, trying to cover herself with the sheet. “Oh, my God. What are you doing here?”
Shock turned to rage, especially when I saw Seth’s jizz on the mattress. My f*****g mattress that I’d paid three thousand dollars for because Bonnie couldn’t live without it.
“I f*****g live here, that’s what I’m doing here!” I hollered.
“Hey,” Seth said, scrambling to find his clothing. “Sorry, man. This just kind of happened. I gave her a sample of some ecstasy and ended up taking some, too. Things got out of hand, but it wasn’t planned. Right, Bonnie?”
“Of course not,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “It was a mistake.”
Seth pulled on his boxers. “Seriously, this s**t is really powerful. The best I’ve ever sold. You should try some, bro. Or maybe some w**d to calm you down. I’ve got a joint with your name on it. No charge, of course.”
“Is that right, bro?” I said angrily. The next thing I knew, I was on top of Seth, beating him to a b****y pulp. It wasn’t until Bonnie screamed that the cops were on their way that I came to my senses and pulled myself off of him.
“Graham,” sobbed Bonnie, trying to touch me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen. You have to believe me.”
“But it did.” I snaked my arm away from her. “Pack up your s**t and get the f**k out of my house,” I growled before storming out of the room.
UNFORTUNATELY, THE COPS showed up and hauled me to jail on assault and battery charges. Apparently, one of the other tenants in my apartment building had called it in, putting the finishing touches on a most memorable holiday. I spent the next two days in jail, and was released the day after Christmas when someone made my bail. Interestingly enough, he was a stranger. Or so, I thought.
“Do I know you?” I asked the dark-haired man waiting for me in the lobby of the station.
“Not yet,” he said, staring at me with interest. He held out his hand. “The name is Jordan Steele.”
I shook his hand. “Graham Dodge. Why did you bail me out?”
“Because that’s what family does, apparently,” he said with a smirk.
His words made no sense. “Family?” I repeated, taking a step back. “I think you have the wrong guy. I don’t have any family. Not living, at least.”
Jordan reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. “Apparently you do. Read this.”
I took it from him and opened up the letter.
Dear Slammer,
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