Miss home
776 Words
I stayed by the lake longer than I meant to.
The campus slowly grew darker around me, lights flickering on in the buildings while students continued moving around in groups. The laughter and conversations around the lake hadn’t stopped, but somehow I felt even more separate from it now.
Like I was sitting behind invisible glass, watching everyone else settle into their new lives while I stood still.
My phone remained silent for a while.
Then it buzzed again.
I didn’t check it this time.
Instead, I leaned my head back against the bench and closed my eyes briefly.
Maybe I needed to stop waiting for Ryan to make me feel better.
Because every time my phone lit up, I only ended up feeling worse.
A few minutes later, footsteps approached.
I opened my eyes to see Ethan walking back toward the bench, holding two cups.
“The coffee place exists,” he announced dramatically.
I smiled faintly.
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” he said seriously. “It was a difficult journey.”
He held one of the cups toward me.
I blinked.
“What’s that?”
“Hot chocolate,” he said. “I guessed you didn’t want coffee this late.”
I stared at the cup for a second, surprised.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.”
He shrugged casually and sat down beside me again.
“I already ordered before realizing I should maybe ask first.”
I took the cup carefully.
“Thanks.”
“It could be terrible,” he warned. “I haven’t tried mine yet.”
I laughed softly.
The warmth from the cup spread through my hands immediately.
For a few minutes, we sat there quietly again.
But this silence felt different from the others.
Less awkward.
Less heavy.
Ethan took a sip of his drink and made a face.
“Oh wow.”
I looked over.
“Bad?”
“That depends,” he said thoughtfully. “Do you enjoy coffee that tastes like melted batteries?”
I laughed before I could stop myself.
A real laugh this time.
Ethan looked oddly satisfied with himself after that.
“Your turn,” he said, nodding toward my cup.
Suspiciously, I took a sip of the hot chocolate.
Then I blinked.
“Oh.”
“What?”
“It’s actually good.”
He looked offended.
“So you expected yours to be bad too?”
“I didn’t know what to expect.”
“That’s fair.”
I smiled slightly and looked back toward the lake.
The warmth of the drink mixed with the cool night air in a strangely comforting way.
Nearby, another group of students burst into loud laughter.
I watched them for a moment before looking down at my cup again.
Ethan noticed.
“You miss home already?” he asked casually.
I hesitated before answering.
“A little.”
He nodded slowly.
“Me too.”
I glanced over at him.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “I mean, I wanted to leave home. But now that I’m here, everything feels weirdly temporary.”
I understood exactly what he meant.
Like we were both pretending to know what we were doing.
“I think everyone else is adjusting faster,” I said quietly before I could stop myself.
Ethan frowned slightly.
“What makes you say that?”
I nodded toward the groups around the lake.
“Look at them.”
He glanced around briefly before looking back at me.
“They probably feel awkward too.”
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“That’s because people fake confidence,” he said simply.
I looked at him for a second.
“You sound very sure about that.”
“I am,” he replied. “Half the people here are probably panicking internally.”
I smiled faintly.
“Maybe.”
“Definitely.”
For a moment neither of us spoke again.
Then Ethan tilted his head slightly.
“You know,” he said, “you don’t actually seem bad at talking to people.”
I let out a quiet laugh.
“You’ve known me for like a day.”
“Still counts.”
I shook my head slightly, staring down at the cup in my hands.
He didn’t understand.
Talking wasn’t the hard part.
It was feeling like people actually stayed.
My phone buzzed again against my leg.
I ignored it instantly this time.
Ethan glanced at the sound briefly but looked away just as quickly.
No questions.
No comments.
Just quiet understanding.
And strangely, that made me feel a little less alone sitting there beside him.
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