One Shots (MxM)

Wenn’s Therapy Session

TW: Mentions self harm and drug abuse

Wenn's Therapy Session-

Wenn

"I have an appointment to see Hayes that I can't miss." I inform Mateo while putting my clothes back on. He practically begged to go another round, but I think he forgets that I'll be 30 in just two years. At this rate, I'll break a hip or something.

"Hayes? Elliot's dom?"

"Yes, but he's also my therapist."

"Oh. I could go with you if you want?" He offers, standing up to wrap his arms around me from behind.

I smile back and turn in his arms to look up at him. "Not to offend you, but I prefer going alone. Having other people around when I talk about those things makes me anxious."

"No worries. I can wait here and start on dinner then. I'm making the best damn arepas you'll ever put in your mouth, Pecas."

"I'm sure I've had something better in my mouth." I mumble before I can stop myself. Mateo laughs softly and moves his hands down to squeeze my ass.

"You look so innocent that I always forget how naughty your cute little head is." He tells me, leaning in to kiss my cheek before using his nose to push my glasses up on my face. "Keep flirting with me like that and I might just put a ring on your finger."

"Is that a threat or a promise, Master?" I tease in return, pecking his lips before grabbing my things. "I have to go. I'll be looking forward to those arepas."

I unlock my car and climb in, buckling my seat belt before starting to drive the few minutes to Hayes's office building. Most of the buildings are nearby. Around the town square is where most of the buildings are.

There's apartment buildings and the coffee shop Beau used to work at. There's the bookstore he showed me, and I know there's a few schools around here.

Hayes' office building is only a few streets down from my townhouse. He owns a private practice so his office is small, but definitely large enough for what he uses it for. He only takes one client at a time unless it's a couple or family.

I pull up outside and wait in the car for a few minutes. He has a waiting room inside, but I always get nervous when I'm in a place I'm not familiar with. It was even worse when I was on coke.

I was so paranoid and scared of every little thing that I spent days at a time without stepping foot outside of the house. The heroine wasn't as bad. It's an opioid rather than a stimulant so it usually made me woozy and sleepy.

When the clock hits 5:45, I climb out of the car and walk inside, going to the office to knock on the door.

"It's open." He calls out. I open the door and close it behind me. I make my way closer to sit on the comfy sofa chair in front of his desk.

"Hey."

"Good afternoon. I like your glasses. I never see you wearing those."

"Thanks. Mateo likes them so I've been wearing them more often." I pause for a moment before continuing. "And I'm sorry I missed our last few sessions. I had a few really low lows and a few very high highs, and everything has just been happening at once so I wasn't sure what to do."

"You don't have to explain yourself. I'm here for you if you want my help, and I'll always encourage you to come to me to talk about whatever you'd like, but I would never get angry with you for not coming." He assures me with a warm smile that makes me relax further into the seat.

"So what made you come? Would you like to tell me about the lows and highs you mentioned?"

"Well it's been a high recently. Mateo and I are dating and he's an official dom now too, which makes both of us really happy. I don't feel as lonely anymore, but before all of this it was pretty bad. Surely you know about me sleeping with Teagan because he said that he and Sawyer broke up. Well nobody was really happy with me about it. I was scared that I'd fall off the wagon again."

"I know about that. I'm sorry that Elliot played a part in that situation." He says, but I just shake my head dismissively.

Elliot didn't say much and he was the only one who bothered admitting it to Dax even if it was after the fact.

"When was the last time you felt like doing drugs?"

"A few weeks ago, maybe? It was before I met Mateo. I was headed to the cafe everyone goes to and I heard people arguing outside. I was going to ignore it at first but when I got closer I heard it was Teagan and Sawyer. They were fighting about me and it wasn't really a big deal, but I overheard him say 'it was just a rebound. I don't feel anything for him.' I uh... I felt an itch to do it then." I confess, looking down at my lap while starting to nibble on my bottom lip.

"Why?"

"I try to tone it down around people, and the feelings have gone away more now that I have Mateo, but I've always liked Teagan as more than a friend."

"How did you feel when you heard him say that?" Hayes asks. He's leaning forward slightly with a kind smile, giving me his undivided attention. He doesn't write things down or record our conversations which always eases my nerves a bit.

"It's stupid." I answer, shaking my head. I know I shouldn't have felt the way I did, which is why I was so frustrated with myself for it. "I have no claim to him, and he did make it very clear that it was nothing but a scene. Just sex."

"That didn't answer the question."

I sigh and decide to answer truthfully, no matter how dumb it sounds. "I felt useless and unwanted and hurt. I felt stupid for thinking that this time it would be more and I was mad at myself for feeling that way."

"And that's why you wanted to do it."

"I'm not trying to sound like it would've been his fault if I went through with it. I just really wanted to. I was just overwhelmed with my emotions and as you know, I'm not very good at handling them. I was craving it because the drugs make it all go away. It helps me just relax."

He tilts his head in confusion. "If you went through with it? How close did you get to doing it?"

"You don't have to tell the police about this stuff, right?" I ask, making sure to cover that before I spill my guts to him.

"No. It's against the confidentiality agreement. I don't have to nor am I allowed to share this information with anyone."

"Okay. Well I went to my old dealer and bought some. I was really going to do it. I cooked it and put it in the needle. I was going to shoot it, but I was crying so much that I couldn't see. I couldn't find a vein to put it in." I mumble, feeling my eyes start to tear up. I take a deep breath and blink them back as he responds.

"What stopped you from just waiting to calm down and trying again?"

I stay quiet for a moment. I know the answer, but I don't know how to say it... "You."

"Me?" He asks, with his jaw dropped slightly as his eyes widen. You'd think that nobody has ever said that before.

Surely people usually say 'my mom' or 'my girlfriend' but I don't have any family. I didn't have any friends either, and I didn't have a boyfriend yet. I was very alone.

"Yeah. I was thinking about how I don't have any friends and all of the subs hate me. The doms just see me as a body they can have in their beds. I was so close to doing it, but then I thought of you. I thought about how much you care about me, not because you want to have s*x with me or I can do something for you. You care because you're my friend." I tell him, wiping my face.

My tears keep falling as I finish speaking. "I thought about how worried you'd be when you found out I was using again and h-how disappointed in me you'd be."

Hayes leans closer to reach across his desk and wipe my tears. "Wenn, look at me."

My eyes snap up to meet his as he gives me a reassuring smile. "I wasn't there. I didn't tell you to stop or take the needle away from you. I didn't stop you. You did. You were alone and you were strong enough to do it on your own. You shouldn't feel ashamed that you almost did it. You should be proud that you stopped yourself."

His words only make me cry even more. I look up to Hayes. The s****l attraction I have to him pales in comparison to the bond we have now. It's not about s*x or wanting to be together.

I'm actually glad that we didn't get together because what we have is more than that. It's friendship in its purest form, and through my whole life I have never had someone care for me this way. It's something I have always longed for.

It's something so simple that many people take for granted. Just having someone look at you and genuinely say something like 'I'm proud of you' or 'I'm here for you'.

"I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't be crying like a baby right now." I tell him, trying to compose myself the best I can.

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you're crying-"

"Wow. Thanks." I laugh sarcastically.

He chuckles too before shaking his head "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you don't usually open up this much. What changed?"

"I've got a pretty good support system now. Between you, Mateo, and Sawyer now adopting me into his little clique, I finally feel like things are going to work out for me. I'm a lot happier now."

"I'm glad. I know love and friends can be a revolving door, but no matter what changes, you are always welcome here. I'm glad you came." He tells me, standing up.

I look at the clock, seeing that our session is over already. I stand up as well, giving him a hug. We pull away and I get my things before heading to my car.

I used to dread this part because I'd always return to an empty house. Though I smile walking out. Knowing that when I open my front door, I'll be greeted by a man I really care about and the comfy smell of fresh cooking.