Jimmy My Lover

Death of Jimmy

“Jim was an upmost guy. A stand-up. He was seventy-nine but acted twenty-four. He was vibrant, young, passionate, energetic. Which brings me to the question, Tessa, I know I shouldn’t be asking it… but bear with me on this. Just bear with me…. What did he mean by “Protect my kin?” He had nothing to fear about.”

That’s what everyone thinks of a man who is a stud to the phrase Carpe diem. He lived as he pleased. I loved him but he was no match for me. I have shelter and everything a maiden would ever need, but Jim wasn’t just it. For sure he was prudent, and thoughtful, and caring, but Jim wasn’t just me. We were different. They say in the field of love that unlike poles attract each other, like magnets, and be them as unlike as they are, only they know the truth of their love. Of their understanding. Love is understanding, and Jim and I did have that, but it was never of us. It was never about us. We were never in it because we wanted to find love. What love would exist between a seventy-six-year-old man and a twenty-four-year-old woman?

“ I mean the guy basically raised all of his children. They’re citizens of this place. He owns a couple of businesses here and there that make them rich; the lawyers have checked everything, all the papers have been signed. What did he mean by “protect my kin.”

As if I had the answer to that. He was just out from surgery, he couldn’t walk and refused his stick. He was fun but he was proud. He never wanted to let life get the better of him. But that was only a want. A desire.

“You better get ready for the rain, dear. Put on the black if you wish. If you had any love for him at all.” Letty couldn’t hide her disgust at the situation. She immediately got up and left the living room. Everything was bleak. The whole place was silent. Nobody dared to ask the question.

“Well if Jim was so perfect, why aren’t any of the eleven fully working citizens that are his children, actually here to bury him?” The voice in me said. I couldn’t let it break Spanky’s heart at the moment. He was just a friend in distraught; in total confusion. Jim was his everything. The perfect saint. If we still had presidents in this time, Jim would have been his number one vote, for all of time’s sake. He didn’t care about anything else, and sometimes his wife would even chastise him for never being too much of a man himself.

“What was Jim to you if all this time you never became the type of man he is?” she’d yell. “Thirty-five years! Thirty-five years of friendship and all you have to show for it is a rolex watch he got you. Out of all that wealth, the best you can do is settle for a watch. You’re pathetic!”

And as per usual, like a soldier trained to battle, Spanky would defend his friend like he was singing the national anthem. Jim was his everything.

Like I said, in another world, he’d be the number one conspiracist for all agendas Jim motivated. That’s the type of friend he was. But here he is now, in this about-to-be haunted mansion of a house, because none of his children even wanted it. Of course, it goes to me and his three sucklings to raise, but what of it that no one wants his house? I watch documentary series of families, sons, daughters, uncles, aunts, and nephews, all fight for unimaginable wealth after the man dies. It was never a woman because she was just a property to the man. Like I was to Jim. Of course, I don’t hate him. How could I? If Jim didn’t save me, I’d have married off a farm owner who would need extra hands to run the field.

“But I loved Jim.” That was the best I could ever say. And now, nine of us bury him. Me, his third wife, Jannet and Julie, his twin sisters, Letty, his eldest sister, Kendra and Theresa, his last affiliated women and the pastor with Spanky at the end. It wasn’t a coincidence that only women buried the world’s best womanizer. The know-it-all and do-it-all. Jim Bertney was his name. The son of Elon Bertney, who fathered eleven children, and Jimmy took it upon him to do the same.

“Not one more Tessa, because eleven with a twelfth, and one betrays.” A catholic associated man he was. It was his way of thinking that one of his children would go behind his back on something. My word was he wrong! All of them did. But the truth is that while Jim fathered eleven children to his name, and three with me, only the three from me are here because they are the three that know. Jimmy aspired to the latin saying of Carpe diem. Mine was Memento Mori. I told him that before he died. I told him never to cross me. Our understanding was that I was the last. I was to be the woman who would end Jimmy’s running mouth.

The talk of love here and there; I should have ended it. But Jimmy didn’t listen. The worst thing about being a man afflicted with so many women is that you’re just “A” to them and never the “the.” And Jimmy never was.

“You’re sure you didn’t know what Jim was talking about?” Even after we’d buried him, and sang hymn songs, Spanky couldn’t let his president go. His arm was still on my shoulder. It was time for the cold face.

“Of course I did. The only child he ever had was with the woman that died many years ago. The one he r***d and had to confess love for before the court. And so he could change his life and become the womanizer we know. That is his only kin. As for the rest, they were all children of different men because I made sure that all the women my father slept with were sleeping with other men at the same time they were with him. I’d have had it that he knew this, but of what purpose would it have been? To what end? All he ever cared about was his kin, and from the day he and I met with the same color of eyes and same chin, we had that understanding. He was with his kin ever since. Always.

“But of course, the system doesn’t cheat itself. Eventually, it comes back to bite the hand that feeds it, and so my three kins are not, god-forbid his, and will never be. The pastor who buried him had a thing for moaning before the cross. He said that Jimmy taught him that during a confessional. Well I enjoyed his confessional.”

If only Spanky was the voice listening and not the corners of my mind.

“No Spanky,” I finally blurted, “but trust me, Jimmy’s kids will be fine. Like you said, all’s been signed, the wealth is there to protect us! Don’t worry love, you should take comfort in knowing that he thought about you as well. And the Rolex too. He bought more of those if you’d like. Jimmy thought about all of us before he gave up the ghost! Come have some tea inside.”