Those Who Left Me For Dead

Things change.

I didn't know who my grandmother was calling a "poor soul", I was distracted by the neighborhood erupting in a countdown

" TEN, NINE, EIGHT..."

I rushed to the room I shared with Andrea, drew the curtains apart and came in time to hear

"THREE, TWO, ONE....HAPPY NEW YEAR"

Hundreds of different colorful fireworks shot up to the sky, I saw dragons spitting fire, i saw milkyway like fireworks, i heard fireworks that exploded like lightning or bombs.

I heard dogs bark in terror in the far off distance seeking shelter from the noise, I heard cheers and screams of jublication and people walked around shouting thanks and rebuking the sins of the previous year.

I heard them sing merrily and with glee in their voices, yet in my heart I felt none, I didn't feel what I felt when I was a little boy napping in my grandmother's lap and waking to the beautiful view of fireworks.

I remembered to wake up my sister Andrea and telling her the fireworks had started albeit I woke her up minutes later, she gleefully rose and rushed to be next to me by the window, she watched in childish delight as the fireworks exploded into the sky changing into different beautiful shapes and colors...

Andrea's presence changed my demeanors soon I too became amused, seeing gigantic fireworks explode to make different trains or cars in the skies, we watched the fireworks for close to an hour until we both got sleepy and tired.

I turned back to spot our grandmother look at us with tears falling down her eyes...

I quickly fixed our bed and told Andrea to come to sleep, I remembered turning to see my grandmother wipe her eyes with her apron, I didn't rushed to comfort her in fear that she would scold me.

I slept in my place by the door and Andrea slept by her's by the wall, soon she was sleeping peacefully but I couldn't I remember thinking everything had changed, our daddy hadn't returned to our home, our mom was still sleeping in our grandmother's room and here was my abuela crying, something wasn't right.

We woke up the following morning and found out that our mother was missing, in the early hours of the morning she had packed her belongings and left.

My grandmother dressed me and Andrea warmly because the first of January 1982 was a very chilly morning, she told us she was going to San Juan to fetch our father.

She told us our mother would only return home if our returned back, as kids were didn't properly understand the meaning of those words, so we didn't pay them no mind "I will go to San Juan myself and bring back Marco" she promised..

"I will tell your friend Luna's mom to take care of you" she told us, she had packed a large lunchbox and some warm clothes for me and Andrea, I didn't understand why we had to take the long trip by feet to Luna's home when we could go to Marcelo's house few blocks from us but I didn't ask any questions as I spotted that Marcelo's home was locked too.

We arrived at the home of Luna, who was a friend of my sisters, Luna had a brother named Miguel, that day grandmother had a short discussion with Luna's mother and the lady agreed to keep us for the day, I watched as grandmother left with a purse in hand she stopped a taxi and rode off.

Andrea and I stayed that night at Luna's house, nana didn't return that night but we didn't mind, we had a wonderful time, Luna's mother was a kind pale skinned Christian woman who was a widow( her husband had died two years ago), she was known in the community as a woman who loved and cared for children very well...

That night instead of touching the items grandmother left for us, she cooked us a delicious paella (rice, rabbit and lima bean) it was the most tasty paella I had ever had but it had nothing on my grandmother's arroz con gandules, we slept closely bundled together with Luna and Miguel in one bed.

The next morning exhausted our abuela returned for us, we had many questions for her to answer...

"Where were you?" we asked

"Where is mama and papa?" I asked "will they be back soon?" the questions kept on coming, our nana just gave each of us a defeated smile

"I will tell you everything" she promised

I swore I could see a glimmer of tears in her eyes but she held them back, on our way back she kept us occupied with talk about all the beautiful places she had visited the previous day

"I saw the airport" she said feigning a big smile though I could see the searing pain in her bloodshot eyes, she described with her large chubby arms the movements the planes made , my sister and I both agreed that the airport was a cool place that we hoped to visit to.

We arrived home and grandmother opened the large plastic bags and showed she had bought us drinking yogurt, chips and loads of fruits.

We ate gleefully not asking her anymore questions, it was at this point, she asked a question "do you want to stay with your abuela forever?" she asked enthusiastically

The answer at the back of my mind was why? yes I loved her, loved being in her home and had wanted to for the longest time ever but the offer never came so why now?, but I didn't ask anything

We just agreed and made plans for the school we would go to when the schools reopened, our nana told us she would fetch the rest of our clothes in a few days time, I remembered feeling excited and anxious for the next morning to come so I would tell my best friend Marcelo I was staying in Carolina forever.

For awhile I was happy and glad that I was staying with my abuela and would go swimming at the beach whenever I felt like it

"will papa and mama come stay with us?" I asked all innocence

My abuela wiped her face with her chubby hand before sighing heavily "Matteo your father is abroad" my abuela admitted sadly, daddy had gone abroad without telling us

"when is he coming back?" Andrea asked sadly

"hopefully soon" my abuela said giving us kisses "meanwhile I will take care of his two beautiful ninos" she said.

We giggled joyously, that night we had supper in the veranda like the previous evening after we were done, we helped nana clear the table and went to bed.

It rained heavily that night and I could swear that in the loud trashing and pouring rain, I could hear human sounds aiding and crying with the rain, soft and than loudly with the rhythm of the raindrops.

I turned over to see Andrea crying softly tears falling down her nose bridge, her eyes wide opened, her pillow wet with tears though she made no sound, i asked why she was crying and she told me she missed our parents

"they will be back soon" i told her...

Soon she wiped her tears but yet and yet, the human cry still persisted alongside the decline of the rain, it kept on and on shamelessly even though the rain had stop, i set up straight and listened carefully...

My grandmother was crying.