Growing pains.
1105 Words
Carolina beach, Carolina city July 1982 me, my abuela and Andrea were on an outing, it was exactly two weeks before my ninth birthday and my abuela thought it would do Andrea and I good to head to the beach. She had brought one twenty liter bucket full of freshly made arepas to sell as well as some food for Andrea and I to enjoy.
Whilst we frolicked in the shallow waters she watched on the sand bank nearby, from time to time, beach goers would approach her and buy her wares still she didn't lose sight of us. It seemed to be an ordinary beautiful day at the beach without incident, even though I had forgotten about my prejudice about abuela selling arepas I may have figured I had no power over that...
I continued to enjoy my swim stretching my arms, further letting the chilly water cool my body, Andrea was the first to leave the water to get something to eat, I just ignored her and continued swimming.
In the midst of my swim I began to reason with my subconsciousness slowly I was adjusting and enjoying being a Carolina boy, my life was modest but happy yet still I longed and yearned for that one phone call from my parents telling me everything was going well, each time I thought about them now I got a flashback of December thirty first seeing my father leave with that woman and wondered if my parents sudden trip abroad had anything to do with that incident
I knew our parents were thinking about us and were probably anxious to call us and held on to that belief they would eventually reappear in our lives but for the time being I enjoyed living in Carolina despite having many unanswered questions on my mind.
I did a butterfly stroke and suddenly realized I was also feeling slightly hungry. I decided to quickly get a quick snack and resume my swimming thereafter when, as I began to exit the water, I saw a sight that made me stand back and watch in bewilderment.
Seated on the rocks on the sand bank was Andrea her food on her lap and a Coca-Cola bottle near her left foot, nearby was my abuela seated on a larger rock dressed casually in an apron and a grey dress she was catering to the two street boys giving them sandwiches and Coca-Cola bottles each, I lost it, the boys thanked her profusely and laughed heartily content with their food and beverages.
I was livid . How could abuela give those thugs food after what they had done to her? Wasn't it enough to give them arepas that day now this? It was beyond ridiculous it was promoting thieving. I ran out of the water as if I was being chased by sharks landing on the spiky and brittle sand beneath my feet, the boys had their backs to me as they examined the contents of the sandwiches, it was ham and other ingredients laced with barbecue sauce.
I yanked one of the unsuspecting boys towards me, he turned and faced me at once, his face a mixture of confusion and anger, but suddenly it registered recognition, I didn't even give him a chance to speak I grabbed the Coca-Cola bottle out of his hand and took aim before throwing it as further as my eye could reach into the sea, before wrestling the sandwich out of his palm, it fell to the ground and got caked and ruined by the sand, i finished off the job by stomping the remains in boiling anger, the boy just looked at me with genuine hurt
"it's my food," I cried
Before charging for the second boy who fought hard to keep his food, I wrestled with the boy we had a back and forth before adults my abuela included surrounded us to enquire what had transpired, the boys told them I was forcefully taking their food to which I responded that it was my food that my abuela had given them and that I didn't want them to have it because they were thieves who had attacked my abuela before.
Instead of taking my side, my abuela told the other adults that the boys were in the right, that she had given them the food willingly and that they didn't steal
I lost all sense of respect for her then and said, "Why do you always side with these poor orphans over me, your own grandson?" I asked the crowd became bewildered by the crude manner of my statement my abuela looked disappointed, one elderly man came forward and told the other boy to give me back the sandwich which was now squashed and looked beyond edible.
The boy reluctantly stepped forward and did as he was told but I didn't reach out to take it not because it was ruined but simply because I didn't want it anymore but my abuela pushed me forward saying
"You were willing to fight for it, take it,"
So I reached out and took the squashed remains breadcrumbs falling off and barbecue sauce leaked off the sandwich, I didn't even want to look at it properly
"Have a bite," the elderly man urged me again. I couldn't "go ahead. You were willing to take it from the mouths of poor orphans now enjoy it."
The words laced and infused me with disgust but I took a bite and dropped the remnants of the sandwich on the ground, the sandwich tasted dry like cardboard and seemed to stuck at the back of my throat, the elderly man urged the boy to return the Coca-Cola drink back to me to cleanse my dysphagia( difficulty swallowing) the boy handed my the coke with a smirk on his face clearly he was enjoying this show.
I took the Coca-Cola bottle and opened it without looking up at the dozen judgmental eyes peering at me, I began talking large gulps until I was sated.
The man gave the streetboys some coins to buy food and sent them off before telling me "may a similar fate never reach you child", I didn't understand what he meant but the look of my abuela and thy other adults told me they did and it didn't appear to be good.
One by one, the crowd dispersed, each giving me a vindictive and judgmental look, some muttered
"Shame on you,"
As they went by, I didn't know what shame was back then, but one thing was for sure I felt it, and I knew the taste of shame.
- Writer
