His to Consume

Second Chance

Lena's POV

He turned over, inhaling terribly with the effort of collecting himself again. After what felt like an eternity, he looked at me again in silence, his face giving away nothing.

"Right now, I need a little bit of time to process this," he said in a low voice. "Lena, this is not something in my life I can pretend has occurred and then go on with my life. It is a massive game-changer."

I understood and hated the helplessness that incurred seeking anything further and nodded. "I comprehended. Take all the time you require."

Damien nodded once before turning away and exiting the room, leaving me standing there. An unbearable pain rose in my chest and I stood there, knowing all too well that I might have just lost the one person who cared for me.

I walked back to my office somewhat in a daze and was hardly cognizant of my environment. On my desk was a message from Grant.

Grant: Dinner? Let's meet tonight. We have things to discuss.

Willing myself to calm down was of no use as I immediately felt an exasperated wave of fury blossom from within. With everything that had happened, Grant nevertheless desired to reel me back into his snare, to draw me further into the vortex of his schemes. But I was through. I had reached my limit with his transparent and wanton control, by being a chess piece in another's game.

I picked up my phone and texted back, tilting my head down for what felt like four seconds and then bringing my gaze back to the front, my fingers flying over the keys.

"No more dinners, Grant. I'm finished. There will be no more relationships outside this business. I will fulfill my part of the bargain, but don't ask anything more from me".

A few minutes passed, and my phone buzzed with his reply.

You'll return, Lena. You know you cannot avoid me.

I gaped at his message, feeling maddening annoyance overcome me. I had let him dominate me for a long time, let him steer me towards choices which ripped apart the very fabric of my existence. But not this time. I have resolved to take every possible measure to take charge of my life once again.

That night, I lay in bed with my eyes transfixed to the ceiling, battling with a whirlpool of thoughts. Regret and guilt were heavy on me, but underneath all this feeling was a tiny glimmer of determination. I was sick and tired of being a pawn, sick and tired of other people calling the shots for me.

It was time for me to confront my errors and start working on the life which was mine.

..........

The next day opened up as a dark and still one. I had not been able to sleep as some haunting memories from the previous night troubled me. The very second that Damien stepped out of that room, I felt as if the very foundation of everything I knew was crumbling. It was obvious that I had yanked the string of the situation and tangled everything up. But the thing is, if I really wanted to make such a mess right, I had to stop evading the uncomfortable options.

I got to my workplace before time, with my head in a whirl. I was aware that it would take quite some effort to face Damien, but I could not just let the state of affairs hang guiltily between us. I had to find him, speak to him, and convey to him how sorry I was. I was ready to do what it took for him to know that I wasn't giving up on him, on us, even if he didn't forgive me.

As I moved through the corridors, I could feel several pairs of eyes staring at me. The news regarding the proposal had drawn some attention, and they looked at me curiously and pityingly. It was as though they all knew I had done something wrong, even regarding the sensitive issue at hand. I tried to disregard it and concentrated on what needed to be done.

I knocked at the door to Damien's office. My heart thumped emphatically in my chest waiting for him to say something, but when he finally called out for me to come in at last, his voice sounded surprisingly dispassionate. I pushed the door open and walked into the room, only to sense a new-found rigidness in the room that had not been present before.

He was seated at the office desk, typing and without bothering to look at me as I entered. Since when did he put such an impenetrable mask on his face so that I could hardly reach him, and how much I regretted it, it was painful even to the point of suffocation.

"Damien," I started gently, attempting but failing to stop the tremor in my voice, "is it possible to speak?"

He took a moment before finally shifting his gaze to me. "We have already talked, Lena. I think I made myself clear yesterday."

"Yes, but there were some things I didn't get to say," I said, edging nearer. "I know I hurt you, and I know that I cannot take what I did back. But I still want you to know how very sorry I am. I love you more than you will ever know, and I understand that I have not earned your forgiveness...." I trailed off, not knowing how to express what underlay my actions.

He reclined further into his chair and clasped his hands over his chest. "So, make me understand then. Tell me why you went to him and not me."

The accusation rang in my ears and I could feel the heat creeping up my face. "It's not about choosing to be with him instead of you, Damien. I was in need of help. I have always been the pillar of my family, and they tell me to do everything and anything to resolve the problem. They made me think that this was the only option available."

"So you just went to another man?" His voice was tight, but his features softened a fraction. "Why did you not say anything, Lena? Why did you not come to me?"