The innocent

Chapter one

Ever since I was born my family called me an angel as my parents tried to get pregnant for 3 years before my mum had me. At first they couldn't believe the fact that all the tests she took came back positive, the doctors scan showed me as a little fetus. Now look at me I'm 17 and my two loving parents are divorced and from an angel I have turned to be their biggest mistake, well according to them anyway. It's funny as they did name me angel, Angel nicole stashford. Now every time I hear my name I just want to vomit as my thoughts start to torture me with certain things my parents have said was my fault and to be honest I blamed myself for it as well. I'm not an easy "child" as some may call me, I skip school and don't get straight A's. I make myself feel better by saying there are kids that exist that are way worse than me- addicted to drugs, abusers and bullies. That doesnt stop all my negative feelings that always creep up on me at night calling me worthless and blaming me for all the mistakes that have ever occurred in my and my family's life. 

Today is my first day at a new college as at my old one I got kicked out for a fight that wasn't my fault! That girl was asking for it. I'm starting my policing course and I'm excited and anxious at the same time, I know what you're thinking you need to have a lot of discipline to get into that course and be ready to work your ass off and trust me i am ready as ready as anyone else. I don't even know how I got in, probably because my mum knows the head of the college but that doesn't matter. I just woke up and I need to get there for 9.00am I don't even know what stop I get off at, hopefully I won't get lost.. 

 My mum decided to give me a lift on my first day don't know what to think, I was prepared to go through the torture of sitting next to people that smell like they've been running a whole day. I really don't know what to expect from the course I hope it goes well, if it doesnt it's okay I'll just keep being a disappointment. Before leaving my mums car she said that she wouldnt want me to be suspended on the first day of college, I get it I don't want to either I guess we will have to see what happens I really want to give this a shot. 

 As im leaving the car i see the large grey building that looks pretty old, i guess it's a view i need to get used to considering i'll be here 4 days out of the week. I actually thought i would be more nervous, heading towards the main office which is clearly near the entrance in the college as you have signs everywhere "the main office is on the right as you enter the building" i don't know why they need that sign it's not an open day, 'do people that go here not know the building?' - was my first thought. I go through the automatic door and i'm immediately greated by a tall middle aged man with red hair "You must be Angel?" he must of recognised me... I go to anwser but before i do that my mum shows up out of nowhere " Hello Tom, this is my daughter your new student let me know if she causes any disturbance" all i can do in that moment is just give my mum the dead eyes, WAIT Tom is my teacher?! He looks like he was the maintance guy or something, i thought they had uniform here i guess not.... 

 As Tom is showing me around he tells me he will be my tutor for the first year and that my teachers will be Gared and Andrew (i have no idea who they are) i hope they aren't like Tom when my mum entered you could totally see him checking her out and that's not something i want to see eww. Every person i pass while im being given the tour looks so stressed out and drained, i hope i won't look like that, it's probably the pressure of exams on everyone as they're coming up in Janurary and its November. Tom walks me to my first class i hesitate as i kind of need the toilet but after seeing them in the 'tour' i don't really wanna go... Before entering Tom explained that the person i have now is Gared and to not stress him out too much as he will give me a hard time. 

 I enter the classroom the door loudly creaks as i open it, everyones eyes just switch from Gared to me. It was a average sized class about 20 students, before entering i already see their 'groups' obviously the popular group is at the back all sitting in the same table, the average sqaud is in the middle row separated into two parts of the room and there's the 3-4 geeks right at the front. I felt so awkward everyone was waiting, just looking at me. I felt like the silence went on for a minute it probably was 3 seconds before Gerad decided to greet me and introduce me to the whole class "Everyone this is the new girl i was on about, her names Angel"- i hate when they call me the new girl everyone instintley lost intrest, not like i'm intresting anyway.. I go to sit in the sechluded area of the classroom where nobody's around, i don't feel like talking to anyone and telling them my life story. Luckily for the rest of the day nobody spoke to me and when it was time to go home my mum would give me a lift as she finished work when i finished my lessons. As it's a Friday im going to my dad's for a weekend, im not excited all i really want to do is lay in bed and listen to some very sad songs to black out my thoughts but i can't do that because dad loves to do 'Family bonding time' or whatever he calls it.

 I get into my mum's 2008 laguna and put my bag on the back seats, i really hope mum isn't gonna ask me any questions during the ride.. As we pass many trees on the way to my dad's i see this bird i'm pretty sure it's a raven although im no bird expert, it looks so majestic sometimes i wish i wasn't a human, i would love to be as free as a bird, life would be great. Coming to the end of the ride my mum hasn't said a word i'm kind of glad i don't feel like talking anyway. She pulls up to my dad's bungalow, i tell her "Bye mom see you sunday night" she replies "Bye my angel" i grab my bag and shut the car door and watch my mum drive off. I take a deep breath and turn the silver key in the door, i enter. Suprisingly my dad isn't here, he left a note on the kitchen counter it says "i'm sorry i had a work emergency i won't be back until tomorrow morning i left you cash for some food, love Dad" well i guess its just me and bruno - Bruno is a one year old staff he reminds me off Tom now as Bruno is ginger too.

 I go to my bedroom and throw myself on the bed i don't really feel like eating, i just put my headphones in and listen to music while Bruno snuggles next to me. At this moment life is okay noone is here i don't have to talk to anyone which is great...