3-6
1101 Words
THE AURORA FINALLY appears a couple of days before everyone except Alex is scheduled to return to Los Angeles. Liam grabs Alex’s hand and drags him out the door to go see it.
They walk hand-in-hand along the short trail that loops from the house down to the road and back. Liam likes the contact and out here, away from the rest of the world. Alex finds it comforting too. Iceland still feels impossible sometimes — not just the circumstances of being here, and the things Alex gets to do here, but the sheer size and beauty of it. The stars are bright enough that Alex can see the path in front of them, the expression on Liam’s face, and even the contours of the landscape as it stretches out into darkness all around them.
The northern lights take up half the sky, a dizzyingly shifting curtain of greens and purples. For the first fifteen minutes Liam is completely silent, which Alex assumes is just about him being overwhelmed with space and color and whatever else is going on sensorially for him. Gradually, he becomes aware that while he may also be doing that, Liam is giving Alex the space to talk if he wants.
Alex squeezes his hand in silent thanks.
Liam smiles.
Which makes Alex ask, in an attempt to return the kindness, “So tell me. Why Bjarki?” He doesn’t necessarily want any more details about Liam’s s****l conquests, but talking about his relationships, no matter how temporary, has always been important for Liam. It’s a subject Alex is still learning to be generous about.
“He’s hot.”
“Insufficient answer,” Alex says. “I mean, this is the first person you’ve been with since Victor died...right?”
Liam nods. “Right.”
“So why him? Why now?”
“For one, we’re a long way from home. It feels easier to do something like that here.”
Alex thinks, but does not mention, that that is the exact same logic Paul used to offer him a threesome while in Iceland.
Liam continues. “Two, it’s been years since Carly and I did something like that together, and we wanted to finally reconnect in that way. Three, a friendly night with a bartender is an adventure with pretty much no stakes. And four, seriously, he’s really hot.”
“You know I thought it was low stakes when I started f*****g you in D.C.,” Alex says carefully. They don’t talk about that period of time much. There’s no need to; he and Liam have been sure and certain of their place in each other’s lives almost as long as he and Paul have. But it seems a valid point to raise. Relationships rarely end in the place one expects them to. Even if they do start in Iceland.
“I know.”
“I was kind of wildly wrong.”
“I know that too,” Liam says. “But Carly and I probably won’t ever see Bjarki again. Risk of prolonged attachment removed. Making dubious choices on vacation is one thing, but you still have to be smart about them.”
“Paul and I talked about having a threesome,” Alex says. “Not with you, I mean,” he adds, because he wants to be very specific.
“What inspired that?” Liam asks.
“Apparently Paul thought finding my bartender in the kitchen was inspirational. Also, Iceland, and he agrees with you that vacation rules can be different.”
“What did you decide?” Liam bounces on his toes as they walk, fairly bursting at the seams with curiosity.
Alex smiles at his enthusiasm and is relieved he’s not volunteering himself. At least not yet. “We probably won’t do it now. We probably won’t do it here at all. But maybe someday. I get why everyone’s into the idea, in the abstract, with whoever. But I look at Paul and anything like that just feels unnecessary.”
“It doesn’t have to be a necessary thing,” Liam points out. “It can just be fun. Or good. Or something you want.”
“I know. I just...everyone seems to think that this is totally a normal thing to do. Or at least a normal thing to do when you’re famous and a movie star or whatever. And the fact that I haven’t, makes me feel, I dunno. Like the hick kid from Indiana who still doesn’t know what fork to use.”
“Threesomes aren’t about sophistication,” Liam says. “Believe me. Not an indicator.”
Alex laughs. “Still. Like. I’ve never had a boyfriend except Paul.”
Liam makes an indignant noise.
“...And you, I guess, or whatever it was we were. The s*x I had before Paul, and after Paul, was really kind of faily. Present company excluded!” Alex adds, when Liam makes another noise of protestation. “Okay, present company and Carly.”
Liam laughs.
“And maybe that’s something I’d want to change at some point?” Alex says. “Maybe? I guess? But I just don’t think it’s going to be something we’re going to do much. Or ever, maybe. Even if we could. On some level I wish we could. It would make some things so much easier.”
“Including the f****d-up thing where you have class angst about your s****l history?”
“Says the rich boy from Brooklyn who’s been f*****g anyone he’s wanted to since he was sixteen.”
“That’s fair, but my point still stands,” Liam says. “I’m glad you’re thinking about it. In whatever way is going to be good for you. Even though I’m sad I’m probably not on the list of people you two might fuck.”
“Liam!”
“I’m not saying I don’t get it, but I still get to have feelings!”
“Ugh. Just. Shh and watch the sky.”
***
* * * *
THE MORNING EVERYONE’S due to fly out, Alex wakes up before the alarm and lies there staring at Paul and at Claudia, whose crib they moved into their room for this last night. It’s another two months before he gets to be home again, and he knows he can deal with the separation, but goodbyes are always so hard.
Alex makes them all breakfast, with Ali assisting, while the other adults run around getting their last-minute things together.
“Next time you do a project,” Ali says, seriously stirring a bowl of eggs with a fork. “Can you go someplace we can see you more than once a year?”
“You’ll see me more than once this year,” Alex points out, though he does feel guilty and also miserable.
“It doesn’t feel like it. Also you should pick a movie where I can go with you and be something other than a dirty baby Viking.”
“Yeah, I’ll talk to my agent about that.”
“If I get an agent too can she negotiate with yours?” Ali fires back.
Alex cracks up.
At the airport, Liam, Carly, Vic, and Ali wait a little apart from him, Paul, and Claudia. Alex is grateful for the space.
“It completely sucks that you’re going to be in New York for upfronts when I get home,” Alex says, holding Claudia on his hip and tugging her hat down around her ears.
“What’s three days after two months?” Paul asks.
“Three days too long. Let me know when you land,” Alex says. The staticky PA that counts for a boarding announcement crackles on.
Paul nods. “Call me tomorrow when you get off work.”
“You’ll be asleep.”
“I don’t care.” He holds an arm out and Alex, reluctantly, passes Claudia to him. Paul digs his free hand into the back of Alex’s hair and kisses him, before he presses their foreheads together.
- Writer
