23
1083 Words
AZRIEL
I froze when Seraphina's lips touched my cheek.
It was barely anything. Just a brush of warmth, a whisper of "thank you."
My hands were shaking.
I hadn't slept for more than three hours straight in days. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the way she'd looked at me that night after I lost control. The fear in her eyes, the distance she'd put between us. I'd sworn then that she'd never see that side of me again.
So I shut myself off.
But it didn't help that she kept asking questions and leaning into me while I tried to keep my senses. And this godforsaken island too. Everything was pushing my buttons.
I watched her settle back onto the sand, using our bag as a pillow, her eyes drifting closed almost immediately. She was exhausted. We both were. But while she could surrender to sleep, I was stuck in this endless loop of hypervigilance—ears straining for footsteps, nose sorting through the thousand scents of the forest, skin prickling with the constant, gnawing awareness that we weren't alone on this island and the men in black masks were still out there.
"Seraphina." My voice was hoarse, defeating the purpose of sounding gentle.
She opened her eyes, blinking up at me. "Hmm?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. The wolf was louder in my head tonight, and the more I tried to push it down, the more it roared back. The more distant I forced myself to be from her, the more the beast inside me ached to close that distance—to claim, to possess, to protect in ways that had nothing to do with being a bodyguard for my sister.
"Tell me if you hate this."
She looked at me in confusion. Her mouth couldn't open to ask a single question as I leaned down and kissed her. I tried to take it agonizingly slow. My hand found the back of her neck, fingers threading slowly into her hair. I needed to control every movement, every breath, how much I should take.
She stiffened, then eased into me, sliding her hands around my neck to draw me closer.
"Azriel," she breathed against my mouth.
Blood rushed to my head at the sound of her voice. The sweet, soft melody accompanied by the agonizing scent of her arousal.
Fuck. I pulled away gently. Anymore and it might get dangerous.
"You're shaking," she whispered, her fingers brushing my jaw.
I caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm without thinking. "I'm fine."
"You're lying."
I almost laughed.
She always saw right through me.
"I'm so scared I'll hurt you." I cupped her cheeks. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did."
"Hurt me?" she asked slowly. "Is that why you've been distant? The island isn't making you cranky. I am."
"No." I shook my head, frustrated. "Yes. Damn it." I ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the roots.
"It doesn't make any sense." She pulled back a little. "Is that why you also left me in Vegas?"
I nodded.
"Because you think you'll hurt me?"
I nodded again. "You'll never hurt me, Azriel—well, except for when you broke my heart in Vegas. I'll still make you pay for it."
I couldn't stop the smile that escaped me.
"The past few days have been enough proof," she continued. "What are you so scared of?"
I took her hand, squeezing it gently.
She didn't understand. Didn't know what I was.
"Trust me, Azriel." She smiled. "I'll always be safe with you."
I wanted to believe her. God, I wanted to. But I could feel the wolf pacing beneath my skin, restless and hungry, and I knew better than to trust petty words, especially when the full moon was just around the corner.
"I need to run," I said, pulling my hand free. "Clear my head."
"Azriel—"
"I'll be back. I promise."
***
The forest blurred past—trees and vines and the distant sound of the river. I ran until my lungs burned, until the fire in my muscles drowned out the fire in my blood, until I could almost pretend that the girl back in that broken hut was just a responsibility, just my little sister, just someone I needed to protect.
But I knew better. And so did the beast in my head.
I swam in the river, hoping the cool water would do something. When I finally made my way back, the fire had died to embers and Seraphina had dozed off, curled on her side with one arm tucked beneath her head. She looked ethereal, the worry lines smoothed out, her breathing slow and even.
I shouldn't touch her. I'd just spent an hour running to get away from exactly this urge.
But I moved closer anyway, brushing a strand of hair from her forehead, tracing the curve of her cheekbone with a tenderness that made my chest ache. She didn't wake up, simply leaned into my touch, murmuring something I couldn't make sense of, and I felt the wolf stir with a contentment that terrified me more than its rage ever had.
Is this me? I wondered, my thumb lingering on her lower lip. Or was this just the beast, wearing my skin, feeling what it wanted me to feel?
I wasn't sure if I loved her. But what I knew was that beasts don't love. They wanted, claimed, but could never show real affection.
I was thankful that she hadn't pressed me to explain why I never sought her out after that night two years ago. Honestly, I was relieved that I chose not to take anything seriously. I was already a complicated person, and having someone like Seraphina in my life who could exert so much influence over me would have been a recipe for disaster.
She stirred, her eyes fluttering open, hazy with sleep. "Azriel?"
"Shh." I pulled my hand back, but she caught my wrist.
"Stay," she mumbled, tugging me down beside her. "Just... stay."
I lay down on the hard ground, her warmth against my side. She was asleep again in seconds, her breathing evening out, her hand still wrapped loosely around my arm.
I stared at her, my heart pounding.
I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to handle this.
And I wasn't even sure I wanted to. Next time, I might just take everything I needed from her.
- Writer
