I sat alone in my chambers seething. I had dismissed all the maids, “gifts” from the emperor. My own ladies I had from birth not trusted, not allowed past the doors of the palace, tainted by the family I loved more than life itself. This year I thought it would be different. I would find a way to make him notice me, to make him love me, to be a real wife. I would find a way to be useful, but I was wrong. I was always wrong.
The emperor was of course, with the empress. When the weather turned cold she always caught a cough. Strong enough to birth a child, but not to get through the early hours of winter, I couldn’t help but sneer at how needy she was. As soon as the weather turned the tiniest bit cold he retired from parties and court life, his eyes sliding over me like I didn’t even exis
