My recovery was slow as I feared. After the confrontation with Naishi I had fewer visitors. I knew that it was because my outburst made it seem that I was not in control of myself and that I should be left alone for my own dignity, but it felt like a punishment. Even when she lost, Naishi won. Most of my ladies were back to living in my quarters, but a few had found employment elsewhere. Their loyalties lay to their families, as mine should, making a fall in status, even temporarily or due to being sick not something that they could associate with.
I found myself unable to blame them, much more familiar with the concept of my own mortality and the consequences of upsetting the wrong people. That was what bothered me the most about the entire thing. For once, I wasn't actually sure if it
