The next time that he was gone, I found that I was less panicked. That I was unable to care as deeply as I had before. I was simply getting used to being without him, to the lack of his presence in my life. It was a dangerous thing to get used to, but one that made things easier. It wasn’t that I loved him less, it was that I had less energy to care about him being gone. Like the women I had so envied when I first joined those among the waiting courtyard, I simply said a prayed to the gods of water every morning when I woke.
Lord Kaiki was moved closed to my quarters, as were a few other ambassadors with whom I had good experiences. All of them had helped look for me when I was missing, the deciding factor in their placement when my father was re-doing the room charts. Most of the people
