Notes of a madman

#2. The thing that always slept...

 In the next morning, I really felt at home here. Maybe because it was soaked in our warmth very quickly. For the first time, I slept normally. —Damn it!—I hear Gina's angry cry and run to her from the street shower. — What's wrong, honey?—I ask as I run. The towel waved on the breeze from the speed of my running. 

 Gina was whiter than her own snow-white hair. 

 At first I thought it was just a drawing on the wall. Just a foolish drawing, what kids can draw, because in our absence, any "merry man" could get into this house. 

 But no... I know this door and I can see everything through the glass window in it. The walls have been fighting an irreconcilable war with the ivy for a long time, there were shards of glass everywhere, in every ward there was a rotting skeleton of a bed, everywhere this putrid smell of screaming yellow paint... It 's Mindless... This is how the place remains, just as it was in the days of our mad attempts to escape... Powerlessness knocks me down. Tears roll down my cheeks. They also arose because of my powerlessness before this entity, before this place. So special as somnambulists, they're still just people. It is impossible to defeat your demons, they will always be stronger in the end... 

 —You killed my father! Why don't you get out of here?—I shouted loudly. So loud that it scared the kids... 

***

I have never been weak in my nerves, but fever is win in the first time.

I was like a corpse for almost a whole day. The fever was like a disease. I only vaguely remember what I did. Nonstop, I begged someone to leave, begged for a normal life for me and my family, and all day long my beloved wife Gina did not leave me.

Alcohol made me feel calmer the next morning.

I turned the glass of very strong old whiskey thoughtfully between my fingers. The drink burned my mouth, but it brought me back to calm consciousness.

— What are you thinking to do?—Gina asked me.

We closed the living room and didn't go there at all after we saw that door.

— I'll take you and kids to Peter Brady, in his house-it's first. If he doesn't live here anymore, then you'll have to go to your mother to beach... Even though it awfully far away. I'll kick the demons asses here alone.—from the realization of the meaning of this whole situation, I felt uneasy, a chill ran through my skin, and I quietly added:

— I'll try...—

— Oh no! I'm not going to leave you here with this paranormal s**t!—my wife put her hands on her hips, even now it looks so funny. She looked like a child at such times. A moody, very moody child.—And you'll never be able to talk me out of it!—

— And if you and I die, who will take care of our five children?—I ask my wife with a stony face, looking straight in her eyes.

 — Oh, honey... Without you, all I have to do is exist for the sake of our children... It won't be a typical life at all. If all I can think is our ubiquitos zoo!—I saw tears in her blue eyes.

I suddenly remembered what Gina looked like before we met. She could no longer be mistaken for a boy. And what she was now, she is strong and beautiful, with fighter mind...

In such a young age, she had gray hair. And this nightmare is my fault! And my father died because of me. Al because of me!!!

Everyone has moments of helplessness.

I finally persuaded Gina to leave. She was crying almost nonstop. And kids... They cried, and so often said what they loves me so much... They understand... I was very scared.

I hope I'll see my family again. But if not, I will try to do everything to make their life in future better than all my life in future better than all my life...

Walking around the city alone, I went to church to father Gomez and prayed.

I don't believe in god. But it made everything a little easier. My crying heart has ceased to ache so much.

No one has ever seen god, and so many people have seen the devil and Baal. Not everyone survived after the contact.

It's time for people to stop believing in religious fairytales about divine providence. Only people can save themselves.

I decided to go to Peter Brady, even if I changed my mind about sending Gina to him.

I crossed the border and drove for countless hours, looking around the familiar highway.

A hot wind moves and shakes my hair.

 Summer is coming soon... To stop thinking about all the bad things, I try to think about the glory days that took main places in my childhood.

My dad and I used to ride together in his old Mustang and I love it so much... Even I was very young, I remember everything perfectly.

I especially like when he asked: "Do you want to see another world? I'll show you..."

From Mexico, we went to southern states of America, fishing on an abandoned beach... Everything was beautiful and carefree...

Ah, here is the "Tomb"... I even don't see, how fast I arrived... It is one of the most popular bars in America, but not everyone can find it...

***

The interior has changed, but I can't recognize, what changed from the first time I've been here.

Hell nurse? No, she's here...

I sat down at the bar and waited, looking for a short man with glasses.

I was desperate for a drink, but if I started, it would be impossible to tear me away from the whiskey.

When I saw Peter with a man who looked familiar, mentally compared him to the faces that were wandering in my memory. It's strange... I can't remember him...

Finally noticing me, Peter Brady grinned broadly and started walking towards me.

— Hey, Pete! I'm suprised ypu're so happy! What's up?—I could smell the strong alcohol on the man's breath, and his shirt was a little rimped.

— I've never been so happy! I've seen your book, your father's notes are taken for a well-thought-out plot, and no one takes us all seriously. It is not known whether there will be those who will delve into the whole essence and understand, what it is...—Brady swayed. Too much drink, I think...

— Mindless...—someone finished from behind the counter, I turned around and fell out my chair in shock.

I felt a certain pressure in my chest. I think someone laughed at me, but I didn't hear it, because my pulse was pounding in my ears.

My own breath caught in my throat.

— Hi, Tobias. Long time we don't see each other... I think, something happened...—Mary Hamilton said sadly.

***

— I don't know how it happened. I didn't try to find out. I'm too happy about it to find the reasons. I thought you might be able to understand it, Tobias...—Mary tossed the towel under the beer tap.—Your father was there. Before I ran away from Mindless, I saw him.—

— I burned his body! If you want, I'll bring you all the cremation records!—I sighed, trying to release the big pressure from my body.—It could have been someone who took his face... You don't really know him, so how can you be sure it's really him?—

— It's Charles! Tobias... You don't understand medical relationships, but I've been watching him for ten years! And before me, my mother was in Mindless, she was a doctor there...—throwing off the bandage with red cross from her head, Mary filled one of the clean glasses and gulped down.

Absinthe... They say it drives you crazy. Dangerous drink...

— Tobias... I can swear to you anything that the man in Mindless is your father, it's really Charles! If we can't get to heaven, it won't be for long... We're marked the black seal of Baal... We're all marked...—with her finger, she pushed the second filled glass towards me.—Have a drink. Absinth helps those who were here. My head doesn't hurt anymore after it... Sometimes you can't stop seeing them... Too bad what it's not too long...—

I don't know, who she is, how to call her. Maybe, Mary just think she's lost her powers. Most likely, they are silenced by absinth...

— When do we leave?—Peter asked me suddenly.

— Even I've tried to find out so much as I can, let the boss be someone, who knows Mindless better...—I pour myself a second glass of absinth, snatching the decanter from hands of suprised Mary.

— I wonder, if I leave you two with this decanter, who will win over absinth?—

Peter probably realized- he made a bad joke, very bad...

***

The alcohol had no effect on my brain. Peter was driving my car, which had a lot more crosses than the church, and Mary was explaining some of her notes to me.

The absinth flowed like water and none of us got drunk.

— It was here, wasn't it?—Peter asks, slowing down.

I sit up and look over Brady's shoulder.

— Precisely! Here is the sceleton of your poor car, as a memory of those days gone by...—when the car stopped, I calmly jumped over the door.—Your girl had a good time...—

— But not time killed her. The beasts and the wild ones did it. Oh, and the sun is working well! Ouch, it's hot!—Mary touched the metal carefully.—What a pity, my love, I adored this Mercedes so much...—

— Yes, the car, silver girl, which has preserved many years of delightful memories, is now standing here, as a harbinger of something bad in our path...—Peter seemed more sorry that those happy, carefree days were long gone.—Now we have a much more difficult task and a difficult time. Mary, where are we going now?—

— To the church.—the girl said calmly, not taking her eyes off the horizon.—We need someone to contact mr. Perez. He's a very necessary person in such a terrible place...—