TORN

Moving on

Storm 

Six weeks have passed since that perfect weekend, since I came so close to kissing my mate. Since she found out that her husband was in an accident and missing. Six weeks since I’ve seen her. I tried calling but she never answered. I thought giving her space for some time would help and I hoped I would see her at the restaurant opening but she never showed up. She sent all her approvals and notes for changes to the menu and for the cafe via email or with Jay, never responding to any of my emails sent directly to her.I knew from Jay that they still hadn’t found any trace of Damian, just more wreckage from his car that was apparently stained in a substantial amount of blood. Enough blood so that once they had confirmed that it was his, they had declared him dead. I had tried going to Jazz’s house to see her then. What I found instead was an empty house with a for sale sign out front. I hated that I couldn’t be there, couldn’t help her through what she was going through. I hated that it was my fault, I had ruined my chance to be there for her because of my thoughtless actions at the waterfall. Now I was sure she was tormenting herself with even more guilt. All because I selfishly couldn’t resist, couldn’t resist those honey brown eyes, couldn’t resist leaning in to take in her scent and the urge to taste her. I had been selfish, wanting to be there for her or rather, just be with her knowing that the potion was wearing off. Sierra had warned it was only a short term solution and I had felt the sparks getting stronger in the days before. But seeing her so sad I wanted to be the one to make her feel better. I ruined everything. I would have put more effort into finding her, making sure she was ok, but she didn’t want to be found by me which was evident in her not taking my calls or answering my emails. Add to that the fact that we have had to deal with a continuous stream of rogue attacks and I still had no clue why, what they were after or who was behind it. I pulled up to the cafe, the sign I had ordered was being put up today. I got out and saw that they were already done. There over the door of Reds Sweet Treats was the sign, a figure of a woman in a red cape holding a basket of cupcakes. I swear I could smell that delicious meringue buttercream frosting right now, my mates scent haunted my dreams with thoughts of how she would taste. Stepping into the cafe the smell intensified and I froze unable to take another step. There she was, stepping out of the kitchen carrying a fresh batch of cupcakes. She set the cooling rack down on the counter looking at me as she made her way in my direction. “Storm, it’s so good to see you would you like a coffee? I, I think we need to talk” she smiled warmly. I just stood there, like an i***t, unable to move, unable to speak. She busied herself making coffee as I just watched her. She walked over with coffee and sat gesturing for me to sit opposite her, as she self-consciously looked down into her cup. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, scared that if I blinked she would disappear. With a sigh she broke the silence “Storm I owe you an apology. After finding out Damian was missing I needed time. For a week I couldn’t do anything consumed by guilt with how I had left things, of having the best weekend of my life while he was missing, probably in pain with nothing but the broken heart I had given him and no clue that I was going to try to fix things, to give him the chance he deserved.” Still staring down into her cup she took a breath and continued “By the end of that week I couldn’t be in that house anymore, I needed to get away so I checked into a hotel and signed a short term lease on an apartment. I also decided to go to see a therapist, it was what I planned to do to fix my issues so I could make things work with Damian.” She finally looked up looking into my eyes “The weeks since then have helped me come to terms with the fact that things probably never would have worked between us” Pain gripped at my heart at her words, why would the Moon Goddess bring her into my life, just so that she could be taken from it without so much as a chance for us to be together. “I realised between seeing my therapist and packing up the house that Damian and I were too different. We wanted different things and I guess I never really realised it because he seemed to always push aside his needs for mine. Looking back I don’t think he ever really wanted children, he wasn’t a bad father but he also only did the minimum with Leo, again mainly to help me. One day he would have probably come to resent me for it all” She continued and my heart skipped a beat she didn’t mean us, she meant them! “ I know I’m rambling I just wanted you to understand that I didn’t mean to ignore you, or make you worry, I just had to do things on my own so that I knew I was doing it for the right reasons...” She finished looking back down into her cup. I sat there letting everything she said sink in, relief washing over me that she didn’t resent me. “Don’t apologise for doing what was best for you, you owe me absolutely no explanation ” I finally said “but thank you for sharing with me, it means more to me than you know, I am happy and honoured that you feel you can still talk to me.... may I ask how is Leo doing?” “He is doing surprisingly ok, I’m not quite sure if he really understands what it means that his father’s gone, Damian did travel a lot for work. Leo does keep asking when we will see you again though.” She smiled “Really? I would love to spend time with the little guy again too.. if it’s ok with you of course” I added. We spent the next 3 hours catching up before she had to leave to get Leo. “By the way I really like the sign” she giggled “oh I made a batch of cupcakes to try out the new equipment, take them home with you for everyone in the manor ok” she said as she ran out out. This day couldn’t have ended any better. I got to see my mate, she was doing well and she still wanted me in her life, even just as friends, I couldn’t be happier right now. Now if I only I could get behind the rogue situation!

Jasmine 

I was so happy to finally clear things up with Storm. I had been wanting to for a while now but I was scared he would hate me because of the way I had just up and disappeared. I had been consumed with guilt at what I had been doing, what I felt, while my husband was out there missing and hurt. Then I couldn’t stay in that house, I felt haunted, uneasy, watched. Stupid I know, but the change was good, it helped me come to terms with my guilt and also finally face up to the fact that Damian and I couldn’t possibly have worked things out. The therapist I had been seeing help me see that. I was so thankful that Storm was so understanding, it was a huge weight lifted from my heart. We started seeing each other more as we neared the cafes opening date, he helped so much as I juggled everything with the cafe, restaurant and Leo and as I finalised selling the house, and Damians funeral. I had a lot to deal with, I found out Damian never had life insurance and I couldn't make sense of the finances or where it came from. I couldn't even find anything about the company he was supposed to be working for, it was like it never existed, even the office number I had was no longer in use. I couldn't dwell on what I couldn't change and I was just happy that I was able to sell the house quickly and that I had an income from the restaurant. Storm was by my side at the funeral a shoulder to lean on along with Jess and Jay, they were all there for me and a great a help, I didn't have the heart to tell them all the questions I had about Damian. What was the point, he was gone and I didn't want to raise questions that couldn't be answered, he had still been a good husband, father and a good man, he was no Saint but it's not like he was a serial killer or something, that would be ridiculous. Leo also loved having Storm around, he was so good with my son, I often found myself smiling at the thought of what an amazing father he would be to kids of his own one day. Storm seemed to know me better than I knew myself, he always seemed to know when to let me cry as he soothed me and just how to make me laugh again.  He was a much needed breath of fresh air. The pull I felt towards him now seemed to be  intensifying once again. I didn't know if it was because I was finally starting to let go of the guilt I felt, what a great friend he was or how perfect he was with Leo. But the sparks kept getting stronger, making them harder for me to ignore. I constantly craved being around his scent of fresh morning dew. It calmed me, made me feel like I was safe, like I was home. If only I knew if he felt them too.

Leo was spending the weekend at Jess’s. Today was the day before the cafes opening and I had a lot to do. Wearing a comfortable casual dress so that I could move freely and not get too hot in the kitchen with all the baking I had to get done, I got ready for a long day and probably a long night. Storm had promised to keep me company and help me where he could. I in turn promised him a box of cupcakes with his favourite meringue buttercream frosting, he couldn’t seem to get enough of it. Seeing Storm waiting for me in a white t-shirt that showed off the curve of his muscles, emphasising his big build, while his soft curls fell gently on his face, my heart skipped a beat and I was filled with a sense of déjà vu.