Heaven Baby

Crash!

Chioma dressed fully in a crisp white button-down shirt tucked into wide-leg black denim trousers, a sleek black belt cinched firmly around her waist. She slipped into her white socks, then black loafers and adorned herself with her usual tattoo stickers before giving herself one last look in the mirror and turning off the music.

Just as she twisted the doorknob to leave for school, she came face to face with Precious, who was pulling the door open from the other side. The edge of the door slammed right into Chioma's shoulder, sending her stumbling back a few steps, while Precious lost her balance and tumbled over her.

"Oma—!" "Ouch!" "Ahhh!"

Precious came down hard on the floor, her tied-up braids coming undone and scattering all over her face. For a split second, Chioma had seen her about to land forehead-first over her shoulder and had pushed her hard in another direction.

Chioma ended up on her butt, catching herself with her elbows, which got scratched and bruised from the impact.

"Preshy you be witch?! Who send you come??"

"You sef you be witch?? Why you stand for door like that?!"

"Which kind talk be that? I was about to go to school!"

"Me sef I just dey— ahhh!" She tossed around in pain and rubbed her waist.

"See as I dress finish now, you carry yourself won come stain my white." Chioma sighed.

"Sorry abeg! You no fit sympathize with me say I don almost paralyze now, na your white be your problem." Precious retorted.

"Nye nye nye... mtcheew!" Chioma stood up and dusted herself.

She straightened her clothes and extended a hand to Precious to help her up.

Precious glared at the hand for a few seconds...

"No make good Samaritan turn bloody Samaritan now Preshy, collet this hand while it's still available."

"Tinubu junior." She begrudgingly took the hand lifted herself up.

"Tinubu mentor." Chioma scoffed.

After steadying herself, she dipped her head down a bit and flung it back up, sweeping her braids away from her face before loosely tying them together behind her, revealing a pair of accusing blue eyes, pursed rosy lips and furrowed brows.

"Soo...." Precious drawled, narrowing her eyes.

"Soo...."

"Soooooo....."

"Sooo, sooo, so what?" Chioma was getting pissed.

"Wait, you wan vex? Haha. Oya na! But sha wait for me let me get ready fast, make we dey go school."

"Why your eyes dey shine blue?"

"Heh. I rub am paint." Precious rolled her eyes.

"The contact lenses no fine."

"Jealousiii!"

"Where you dey come back from Precious?"

Precious took of jacket and wiped her lipstick off. "Program." She replied.

"Heh, you say wetin?"

"Water dey your ear? I say I dey come back from program!"

"Program? Which yeye program?"

"E no concern you Oma. Where's my bonnet? I won go bath."

"Leave bonnet, shower cap dey bathroom."

"Okay." Precious replied shedding off her clothes and picking up her bathroom routinal products.

"Where are you really coming back from Preshy? You no wan talk truth now."

"Oma." She paused and turned to her "I said I'm coming back from a program. Infact, na church program!"

Chioma was silent for a few seconds, then burst into a fit of mock laughter.

"Where you dey come back from, Precious?" Precious took off her jacket and wiped her lipstick off. "Program," she replied.

"Heh, you say wetin?"

"Water dey your ear? I say I dey come back from program!"

"Program? Which yeye program?"

"E no concern you, Oma. Where's my bonnet? I wan go bath."

"Leave bonnet, shower cap dey bathroom."

"Okay." Precious replied, shedding off her clothes one by one and picking up her bathroom routine products.

"Where are you really coming back from, Preshy? You no wan talk truth now shey?"

"Oma." She paused and turned to her. "I said I'm coming back from a program. In fact, na church program!"

Chioma was silent for a few seconds, then burst into a fit of mock laughter.

"Wait, wait, haha! If na me tell you this thing wey you just talk now... you go believe am? You dey come back from program, dressed in a crop top, waist chain and strangling skirt. Na e you dey tell me say you from church dey come back... since yesterday Preshy! Since yesterday oohh!"

"Wetin you mean sef? I no look like God pikin for your eye? Why you dey doubt say I go church?"

"Preshy if na church you really go, make I bend!"

"You go bend oh, you go really bend. So a child of God, daughter of Zion like me no fit go fellowship with the brethren again?!"

"Child of God ke? You just dey find wetin I go tell you. No be me you go put for talk."

"My daddy in heaven knows—"

"Daddy...? Or Zaddy...?" She smirked. "Close mouth joor."

"Which Zaddy abeg? Oma, try change oh. I go soon repent like this."

Chioma took three steps closer to her, hands in her trouser pockets. "Soon?" She shook her head. "Well, news flash! I don already repent a long time ago. Na you remain!"

"You no—"

"Are you going to talk or not, madam?" Chioma picked up the shiny purse she had just dropped on the table and snapped the hook open.

A few dollar notes slipped out, and she paused. She glanced at Precious, then continued rummaging through the purse.

She kept taking out more dollar notes until her palm could no longer contain them. She stacked them on the table and forked out the remaining ones.

Then she touched something else and froze, the lines on her temples deepening.

A phone...?

She brought it out and flipped it onto her palm without saying anything. Then she looked up at Precious and raised a brow, giving her a deadpan glare.

"Preshy, iPhone 17? Una church program dey share-share phone??"

"No."

"No dey answer me like say you really go church, oga!"

"Oya, oya, calm down." Precious chuckled.

"And where the pack sef? It looks very new, so why is it unboxed?"

Precious contemplated for a few seconds, then sighed and grabbed her towel.

"Omo, make we dey go class first. Later I go gist you. No be Zaddy matter. Time don dey go and the story long..."

She entered the bathroom and closed the door. A few minutes later, she poked her head out, foam all over her face.

"And e be like say landlord don buy new car! I see one fine Corolla downstairs!"

Chioma glanced up from the bed where she was seated, waiting. "Which landlord? That one wey dem don already use his destiny drive lambo?" She snickered.

"Oma!" Precious splashed water loudly.

"E get luck say e don already build house sef before dem waste am. Bomb dey that man head. Na his son destiny he dey use shine now, na why e come be like say his face dey show small small."

"Omo...!" A speechless Precious simply concentrated back on her bathing.