Heaven Baby (A Nigerian Story)

Breakfast

"Oma this your—"

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Oga. Oga Hipolite abeg, we don dey too much for here. Come give us our money make we dey go house!" Gaje one of the trumpet guys interrupted.

Hipolite rolled down the window...

"Come your brain dey upside down? You wan break my window because you wan collect 1k balance?" Chioma snapped.

"No be 1k oo. No be 1k at all." He shook his head vigorously.

"Oh, so na 500 sef!"

"No oh, na 6k he go balance us."

"E no get any 6k wey—"

"Babe, babe, e don do. It's okay abeg." He pulled out two wads of cash and tossed them at the guy. "Sorry for wasting your time. You don do well, come dey go."

"Haaaaaaa!!! Oga!! You go live long! Ahhh!! You go really live long oohh, you and madam Big Oma. Una go born six children!!"

"Babe is that not too much?"

"E no really matter." He shrugged.

"Madam e too much! E really too much oo! But na God go bless una for me!!"

"Get out of here, you dunce!"

"I take am rub body ma." He danced around.

Paaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

He blew the instrument again in jubilation.

"Heeyy, mumu dey your family?? No vex me oh, no just vex me now. Carry your yeye trumpet dey go!"

"Oma! No dey talk like that please." Hipolite frowned.

"I take am rub body. I take am rub body pass cream sef. Oga thank you so much for the money. I dey very very grateful!"

"Gaje come dey go nahh! E don do."

He made as if to kneel down. "God go bless you! The kind money wey you go get ehh? Dangote go come make you teach am work!"

"Wetin this one dey talk?" Chioma scoffed.

"I said it's okay nahh! E don do, Geja, e don do. Comot for here now make I no vex for you." Hipolite opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"I will go please. I'll start going now no vex abeg." He got up. "Jega! Come make we dey go." He looked around for his brother.

Meanwhile...

On the other side of the car, Chioma leaned back against the seat, resting her arm on the window ledge with her chin propped in her palm.

Jega hid by the side, bent down to Chioma's ear and whispered:

"You don chop this morning?"

Startled, Chioma tilted her head toward him, a 'you dey mad?' look plastered on her face.

He hissed, "you don chop this morning?" he repeated the question.

"No!" She rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, you go soon chop breakfast."

"What?!"

"Yes. Calm down, e dey road dey come. You go soon collect."

"How dare you? Which day this one—" He straightened up and left before she got a chance to finish her sentence.

"Geja I dey here!" He waved to his brother.

"Babe what's the problem?" Hipolite came back in, pulling the door close with him.

She gave him a weird look....then sighed and murmured.

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes I am." She sighed. "Anyway! Change music, I don hear say I be your heaven baby so change tune make we dance and celebrate!"

"You no like Heaven Baby?"

"I like am, but I no want the vibe now. Sabi Girl get another song wey no dey sound like choir presentation nah. I wan dance."

"You wan dance ke? Babe we suppose dey romantic mood oh...you no hear wetin the song dey sing so? I fit die for you if you let me Oma."

"Inside Corolla? Dey play."

"Babe you no dey try oo! See as I dey try do you well, you come dey fall my hand."

"The song don dey finish, my own be say make e no repeat again sha."

"See eh... let it repeat. Let it serenade us and let our love settle like morning mist around--"

"Babe I go knack this flower for your head oohh, change this music now!"

"Oya I go change am, I go change am abeg, e never reach like that!"

"Good. Put BTC dey body, para dey body."

"Heh, na wetin fit you sef. You na wahala babe..." He counted on his fingers. "...para, pepper body, fire for fire, everything join together na you Oma."

"Leave am for me like that!"

He changed the track to [Elon Musk -- Shallipopi] and her face lit up.

"Ehe! Na now you come nahh! No be to dey here dey play heaven baby, as if you go even make heaven." She smirked.

"Me wey don already dey heaven dey wait for una?"

"Akuko ifo!" She twitched her lips.

"Oma Oma! Big Oma!" He hyped her.

"Ehh??" She raised her shoulders in shakara.

"The Biggest Oma in UniGen! Latest car owner!!"

"Ouuu! That's meeeee!!" She blinked her lashes and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Ahh! E no go better for you!"

"You too Hipolite!"

They both burst out laughing. The music continued playing and Hipolite increased the volume as Chioma stepped out of the car and began to dance, still holding the car keys in one hand and showing them off.

Hipolite stepped out as well and closed the gate before joining her, singing along badly and deliberately exaggerating his dance steps to annoy her. For a few minutes, they forgot about everything else. They sang, danced and teased each other right there beside the car, completely lost in their own crazy world.

Chioma eventually leaned against the car, laughing breathlessly as Hipolite tried to imitate one of her dance moves. She shook her head at him.

"You no get shame Hipolite."

"Na you teach me."

"Koromoto man."

"My heaven baby."

"Mba, no call me that thing again."

He laughed and pulled her closer.

.

.

.

UniGen - University of New Generation Education, Research and Innovation (UNIGEN)...

Oh, profound!

But... she crumpled a quiz paper and flung it into the bin.

Scratch that!

University of Next Generation Naija! Showbiz Chapter!

Heh. Nothing concern us with institutional name wey dey paper, na we be the life of the system, and the body go dance to our tune because their own music no sharp.

"Pah!" She smacked her lips together "glossy..." she slowly ran her tongue over her upper lip.

"This shade is perfect!" She traced an eye pencil one more time along the edges, "I love it! Badass lip combo!"

Make all these girls come learn from me. E remain small thing make I pick race the other day as I sight one with her lip combo wey resemble our HOD regrettable life.

Dem go just dey waka about looking like ojuju. Mtcheew!

She wore her jewelries and secured her belt firmly on her waist, then stepped back and admired herself.

"Who's that girrlllllll?" She slurred along with the music playing on her JBL speaker.

"Omalistic Oma! Fine babe with zero worries." Haha!

Chioma Etiko! You don hear that name before? Hehe...you dey craze if you never hear am. Na me be HER.

Precious Ojo! You don come across that one? Tsk! Na my friend be that!

And no no no! We no be bestie, heh. Who bestie help? For this UniverCity? Dey whine yourself! But the girl too razz sha. As I be fire, she na ice, and I like her.

And the werey never come back since yesterday ooh. I still dey wait for am.

But who you be for UniGen wey we go pass and you no go look thrice?! Main characters dey learn work for our hand.

Unless you follow for our rival babes nah, but you go still confirm say we don mount.

Level pass level, dem don coronate us! we're the Queens!

Unless say you be lecturer, who goes your papa?!