GULLIBLE AND NAIVE LOVE.

Chapter Seven: The Backlash.

Disclaimer

This chapter contains sexually aggressive content and suicidal thoughts,if you don't feel comfortable with either you may skip.

All I could hear was his breathing through the phone. Why was he not talking? I waited, several minutes passed without response from the receiver end. This was the first person I was ever opening up to. I just couldn't help it, he made me feel safe he made me feel like I could rely on him. For once in my life I felt my pain was not just my own I could share them but why was he not responding.

"What happened," he asked quietly. It felt like forever before I heard him talk.

Tears streamed down my face, I could not control them. It took me time before I could get words out of my mouth.

"He...... he.... he... pounced....," I stammered. He patiently waited on me as I tried to grasp my words and to organize my thoughts. The pain I felt the previous night felt real again.

" It's all my fault," I whispered repeatedly.

He waited up patiently as I tried to calm myself.

"He lied, he said he was not going to do it, he promised he was a good guy, he just pounced and all I felt was pain,, he.... he.....he.....he.... just did it,he then slept beside me the whole night,"I rumbled in between sobs.

"I promise I didn't do it intentionally," I chided," I love you,you believe me don't you." Without realizing it I shared the feeling I have been denying for the longest time without knowing that the timing was so unbefitting.

"It's ok, I believe you," he replied in an exhausted voice. "Just take a breather," he continued,"we will talk."

"Ok."

I relaxed and walked out to take a bath,little did I know that it would take me my everything to have a conversation with him again.

Before the assault,I was a sexually molested person who was addicted to masterbation. I knew nothing about s*x but in a way I love the pleasure that resulted from me rubbing my private parts and now I became his s****l pleasure for every passing night and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted it,and each time after the act I would coil up on my bed and cry out with a realization that it had happened again.

I became a slave to my r****t,some days I would sort him out.I had nobody to talk to,nobody to confide and now that I realized Bruce had been avoiding me despite all this I didn't forget to mask all this so we'll from my family.i wore a happy face all day and only me knew that I was breaking down and draining in bits. The consistency of grabbing the rope,taking the pillow and picking up dozens of drugs increased but like a coward I always was,I could not get it done with.

When I got tired of handling I sorted my highschool friend to help me explain things to him. I needed Bruce and so I shared his contact and she mediated the whole thing.He resumed the communication and I hid all the facts that I had become a s*x slave to my r****t from him. My mental power just seemed to go numb whenever I encountered such a situation. I could not take the t*****e I was going through mentally whenever I registered so I shared and not long,Bruce ghosted me for good.