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What the f**k happened last night?
I’m lying in bed–alone. There’s a terrible taste in my mouth, like I’ve been sucking up swamp water through a straw. My head is pounding, and when I try to open my eyes, my left lid won’t budge. Every muscle in my body aches as though I went toe-to-toe with a semi-truck and lost.
Groaning, I roll out of bed in spite of my body’s protests. I’m so thirsty. All I can think of is downing a nice, cool glass of water.
I stumble into the bathroom, half-blind, and after one glance in the mirror, it’s immediately apparent why I can’t see properly. One of my eyes is bruised and blackened, the lid entirely swollen shut. When I press my fingertips to my cheekbone, I wince in pain.
“What the f**k?” I mutter, squinting at my reflection. The shiner isn’t t
