Devenity

Chapter 5

Heartbreak on a winter storm

I got up from my bed, putting myself in a bad mood wasn't healthy, I already made up my mind to tell Damon my feelings and that won't change, whether he accepts them or not I need to air them out.

I started undressing, even if I had a strong resolve my heart was still shaking, I was putting all my feelings out on thin ice, that's what going through a one-sided love feels like.

It's not exactly Damon's fault that I'm going through a one-sided love or that I caught feelings for him, I just wish he was more aware of my feelings, or maybe he is aware but he's ignoring them.

"Shut up Dev, why must you always doubt yourself? Woman up and get out there", I scolded myself.

"Dev?", I heard Damon's voice.

"Yeah".

"Who are you talking to?".

"Oh...uh, I was just giving myself a pep talk, what's up?", I laughed nervously.

"Nothing, I was just worried about you, you've been in your room for 30 minutes now, are you okay?".

I felt a tingly feeling in my chest, my feelings were mending themselves, I couldn't help but love Damon, he is so kind, caring and understanding, he stopped what he was doing just to check up on me.

I put on a robe and opened the door, I lost all composure seeing Damon in a robe, I could see his bare chest clearly.

"I'm fine, I just felt a little under the weather", I coughed.

"Let's get you above the weather then", he held my hand and led me to a lounge, it was practically empty. The whole place was gorgeous, there was a giant chandelier in the center giving light to the whole room, a bar with assortments of wine, no surprise Maddie was already "greeting her cousins". The chairs looked fancy and there were large pillows on the floor for someone to relax.

"This place is beautiful", I stared in awe.

"It is, it's one of Moonblight's star attractions, tourists mostly visit the town because of it".

"And Zoe owns all of it?".

"Her parents own it, she just supervises, that's how we managed to book the place for ourselves".

"She really comes in handy", I sighed inwardly.

"Come, let's sit by the fireplace together", Damon led me to a separate section of the lounge, there was a giant fireplace and a flat-screen tv hanging on it.

"Thanks, Damon but you don't have to do all this to make sure I'm comfortable", we both sat on the same sofa by the fireplace.

"I do, if I don't you won't enjoy yourself".

"That's not true, I enjoy things at my own pace".

"That may be true but I won't stop dragging you out of your comfort zone until you can fully experience life".

"So it's by force?", I raised an eyebrow.

"You bet, it takes me back to the days when we were in school, you were so quiet, everyone knew you as "Maddie's quiet friends" or "the silent girl".

"I remember that, it didn't really bother me though", I brought my knees to my chest.

"But it bothered me"

"Seriously? Why?"

"Because people misjudged you, it also bothered me because I knew there was a beautiful soul living in your body and I wanted everyone to see that", he looked deep into my eyes.

I was getting emotional, the tears were burning my eyes, how could he sit there and tell me all these sweet things, doesn't he understand I'll only fall for him even more.

"Stop it", I looked away, "you're just being you, Damon the pep talker".

"Who said I'm pep talking? I'm just stating clear facts".

"Really? Okay, I guess we'll call it that", I still couldn't meet his gaze.

"Why won't you look at me?", his voice was low.

"No reason, I'm just admiring the fireplace".

"Dev".

"Mmm-hmm"

He gently moved my head to make me look at him, my heart was beating out of control, I couldn't take it, why was he doing all this? I looked deep into his eyes, I was lost in his magical eyes. I wanted to lean in a kiss him, now seemed like the right time to do it.

"Dev we're about to...oh", I scrambled to my feet and looked at Maddie, "sorry".

"No no, don't apologize, we were just talking, what's up?".

"Um...we're about to serve diner, do you want some?".

"Yeah, of course, Damon?".

I turned to look at him, he seemed a little flustered.

"Yeah I can eat", he got off his seat and we all went to the dining area.

****

We all sat at the table, Damon and I sat across each other, every once in a while I would look at him and he would look back at me.

"Did everyone enjoy their meal?", Zoe asked.

"Everything was delicious", I smiled.

"Especially the wine", Maddie took a sip of her wine, which was her third glass.

"I'll make sure to add more", Zoe laughed.

"Don't encourage her", I laughed as well.

"Dessert will be served in the lounge or anywhere you like", Nina said.

"What's for dessert?", I asked.

"Chocolate truffle".

"Awesome", Maddie finished her glass of wine.

Zoe left the table for a while and returned with plates of chocolate truffles.

"Here we are, the lounge is at your disposal", Zoe took her plate and left with Nina.

"Dev", Damon got up from his seat, "let's go".

"Oh...Maddie are you coming along?".

"Nah, I'll just finish up with dessert and hit the hay, have fun".

I rose from my seat, grabbed a plate and followed Damon back to the fireplace. We both sat on the same sofa again, this time I'll definitely tell him.

I took a bite out of my chocolate truffle, "This tastes so good".

Damon took a bite out of his own, "it does".

We were going through an awkward silence, I didn't know what Damon was thinking but it looked like he was trying to say something.

"How do you know when you're in love?", his question made me choke.

"Huh?".

"Sorry, I asked that without context".

"It's okay, but...Why do you want to know about love all of a sudden".

The wind outside blew heavily against the windows and they were completely covered in snow.  

"Sounds like a blizzard", Damon looked at the window.

"Yeah...don't change the subject, talk to me", I shifted nervously in my seat, this could be my chance.

"I've been having this strange feeling lately, it's like a warm feeling, you know? Is that love? I've never been an expert, every since Natalia I've never viewed love the same".

"Natalia is your ex, you need to get over that and view love the way you used to".

"But what if I get hurt again...I might look like I have my s**t together but I'm scared Dev", he looked at me.

"Scared to love?", I looked back at him.

He nodded his head, he looked so cute right now, something about his vulnerability made him ten times more attractive. He's showing me his weak side because he trusts me.

"I feel the same way, lately I've put all my feelings out on thin ice, I'm scared and unsure whether they'll survive the ice or drown in the water below".

"How are you dealing with it? How are you sure it's love?".

"Every day when I look at that person...my heart skips a beat, I can't think straight and I find myself smiling like a fool", I moved closer to him, "don't think it's love, feel it's love, listen to what your heart is telling you, no matter how cliché it sounds".

Damon went quiet for a second, he was thinking hard about something, he then looked at me and hugged me tightly.

"I knew I could come to you for advice", he kissed my forehead.

We broke the hug, I looked at his smiling face, I wanted to see him smile and be happy forever.

Now

"Damon".

"Hmm"

"I um...I...You see I", I was stumbling over words.

"What's wrong?".

"Can you please tell me why you asked about love just now? Do you have feelings for anyone at the moment?".

I was in between wanting to know and not wanting to know, this is the moment, the moment I'll now if my feelings will survive or drown.

"I do".

My heart was picking up pace, my hands were practically shaking from all the nervousness.

"Who is it? Who captured your heart?".

He scratched his head, "we haven't really known each other long, is two years enough?".

No, please no

"I...guess so".

"She thinks it's enough, that's why she told me to be more sure about my feelings before anything could happen", he was getting flustered.

Don't say it I beg you

"Who is she?", I could feel the tears about to fall.

"It's Zoe"

My heart broke into millions of pieces and they were blown away by the wind, the ice cracked, the feelings I put out there are now drowning.

"I've been thinking a lot but it's not until having this talk with you that I'm sure what I want", he was blushing. 

"What...what do you want?", my voice cracked a little.

He leaned in, "It's a surprise so don't say anything yet, okay?"

He got up from his seat and left me for a while, a few tears fell but I wiped them away immediately. Damon returned with something behind his back, he sat down next to me and showed it to me, he was adding salt and lemon to my wounds.

"Russ hooked me up, you can say he's responsible for Zoe and I, not only did he introduce us...", he opened the box and showed me the prettiest ring I had ever seen, "he also helped me pick out an engagement ring".

"Engagement", I repeated.

"Do you like it? I was waiting for you to get here so I could propose".

Why me? Why now? When I finally decide to love with all my heart, when I put my feelings out there and was certain of them, why did the universe have to do this to me?

"Dev", he put the ring box down, "why are you crying?".

I was so broken at this point I didn't even notice my tears falling.

"I am?", I wiped my tears, "I guess I'm just surprised...these must be tears of happiness", I smiled brightly but I was dying on the inside.

"Dev..."

"I'm serious, congratulations, I've been so worried about you since Natalia, I thought you would never love again..."

Stop talking, you look pathetic

"But when I saw the way you looked at Zoe I was sure you liked her, I just needed confirmation".

"Was it that visible?", he looked embarrassed.

"Yes, it was...Damon if you're really sure of it then go for it, I'm one hundred percent behind you".

"This is why I need you around", he hugged me again, I held on to him this time and cried more onto his shoulder.

This is it, no more feelings, no more love, no more putting myself out there, in return I only received heartbreak and disappointment.

The love of my life is about to get married to someone who returns his feelings.

That's it for me...goodbye Damon

The only man I will ever love.