Unlikeable You

Chapter Nine

It had been a few days since Tyler and Daniel’s last interaction. While passing each other in the hallway, Daniel gave Tyler desperate looks. They pleaded for Tyler to talk to him, for him to be okay, for them to be okay.  Tyler could only look away. It was obvious Daniel was hurting but he couldn’t do anything about it. He wouldn’t do anything about it. It was safer. Safer to ignore Daniel, safer to hurt him, safer to just be alone from now on. Tyler felt his chest tighten. He didn’t want to hurt Daniel, but he had to. He had to for both of them. He had to for his father. Resentment pooled in Tyler’s head. If only his father could disappear, die, anything to get out of Tyler’s life. The temptation to run to his mother came frequently, but he knew better. His father would retaliate. He and his mother would both face the consequences. Tyler simply wouldn’t hurt his mom like that. He wouldn’t even risk it.

Tyler was in his class with Emilia, partnered up with her for an assignment. The two talked about random things along with the assignment, sharing laughs as they shared pitiful jokes. 

“Also, I’ve been meaning to ask, but you and Daniel Barnes are close, right?” Emilia asked. 

Tyler’s chest tightened at the mention of Daniel’s name. He tried to shake it off. Although confused by her question, he answered in earnest. “Yeah, we grew up together,” he responded. “Why?”

“I don’t know…” She paused in thought. “You two don’t seem to hang around anymore. I was just curious.” Her statement was harmless, but it held weight. Even others had noticed something was wrong between Tyler and Daniel—they just didn’t know how wrong it truly was. Tyler sat quietly for a moment. He was hurt.

“Some things happened. We just aren’t getting along,” he lied. Delving into the intricacies of his dilemma wasn’t something he was going to do. Especially not now.

Emilia shrugged. “It just seemed like you two were best friends. Almost like you were dating or something.” She chuckled. Tyler’s eyebrows rose. Emilia looked at him with playful eyes and patted his arm kindly. “I’m just playing around.”

Tyler gave a nervous laugh and tried playing it off. Only if she knew what he and Daniel had been through. That Tyler had been hopelessly in love with Daniel since they’d been kids; that dating him would simply be a dream. That being loved back in that way is all Tyler could ever hope for. He ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, well, we aren’t friends anymore so I guess neither options are viable,” he tried joking along. Emilia let out a laugh before they continued their work again. Tyler ignored the pattering in his chest.

The end of class rolled around soon enough. Tyler and Emilia packed their things. As the bell rang, Emilia turned to Tyler. “Could I talk to you about something after school?” 

Tyler’s interest piqued as he quirked his brow. “About what? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not really important, but I wanted to say it anyway.” She smiled. Tyler was only more confused.

“Uhm, yeah, sure. See you after school then?” he said and she nodded. She gave a quick wave, then made her escape out of the classroom. Tyler stood still for a moment, dumbfounded, before making his way into the hallway as well.

It was the end of school and Tyler made his way through the halls. He and Emilia hadn’t chosen a specific meeting place, so he walked around aimlessly. As he wandered, he felt a tug on his arm. He turned to see Daniel.

“Hey—”

“Daniel, I can’t. We can’t,” Tyler cut him off. He avoided looking Daniel in the eye.

“Tyler, please,” Daniel pleaded. He sounded desperate.

“Daniel…” Tyler paused. He worked up the courage to look him in the eye, immediately saddened by the sight. Daniel had eye bags and looked distressed. Tyler’s heart ached. He felt himself giving in and tried to push back. He failed. Damn Daniel for being so moving. “Five minutes, okay? I’m supposed to be meeting someone.”

“Five minutes. Okay.” Daniel released a sigh of relief. He grabbed Tyler by the arm and dragged him away.

The two boys ended up in the same secluded place as last time, facing one another in the silence of the hall. Daniel released his grasp on Tyler, a loose grip of his hand replacing it. Tyler ignored how his stomach flipped.

“How are you doing? Are you okay?” Daniel asked. Tyler almost let out a laugh but suppressed it.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that? You look like a mess, Daniel,” he responded. Daniel showed a small smile before rubbing his face with his hand.

“I just...”—he tightened his grip on Tyler’s hand— “I kept thinking about how you’re there. I can’t sleep knowing what could happen.” Daniel’s vulnerability touched Tyler, his heart ached.

Tyler spoke softly, “Daniel, you can’t be worrying about me twenty-four-seven. I know things could get bad at home but... I can take care of myself if they do. You need to trust me.”

“I do trust you, I don’t trust your father.” It was a little rougher than intended, but it got the point across. Tyler didn’t take it personally. Daniel got quiet. “It scares me, Ty.” 

Tyler felt his heart ache. For Daniel, for himself, for everything surrounding his existence. His shitty life was affecting others, affecting Daniel. Tyler didn’t want to hurt him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from doing so. He couldn’t get himself out of the shitty situation he was in. He was stuck. Everything was entrapping him in the life he was living.

Tyler didn’t respond but instead moved closer to Daniel. He slowly wrapped his arms around him, gently giving him a hug. Daniel returned the gesture, releasing a sigh as he laid his head on Tyler’s. It felt safe. Tyler relished in the feeling of being in Daniel’s embrace, holding on tighter as he was reluctant to let go.

Eventually, he did. He went to look at Daniel, but his eye caught someone else’s instead.

Emilia.

Tyler’s eyes widened. His brain fumbled as he tried to come up with a cover-up.

“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked, confusion riddling his face as he turned around. His eyes widened as well.

“Emilia…” Tyler called out, still unsure of what to say. Emilia shook her head, turning around and exiting the hall door with a slam. Tyler looked at Daniel before stressfully running a hand through his hair. “I have to go,” he dismissed himself, following after Emilia. f**k.

Tyler’s heart raced as he followed where Emilia went, picking up his pace to try and catch up to her. He didn’t mean to get caught like that—he didn’t want to get caught like that. Maybe Emilia wouldn’t say anything, maybe she would. The infinite possibilities of how things could turn out overwhelmed Tyler. He felt sick, ashamed, disgusting… everything overflowed in his mind as he began to panic. He tried to convince himself she hadn’t seen anything but it was obvious that was all but true. It was the turn of events Tyler had been avoiding for nearly a week now. He had spent all that time avoiding Daniel, all that time going through the pain of avoiding his best friend. Now, it was useless. If his father were to find out what happened, he’d be dead. Dead dead. Though, at this point, maybe Tyler would prefer it that way.

“Emilia!” Tyler called out, now only a few feet from her. She turned around with an unreadable look on her face.

“I didn’t see anything, Tyler,” she said, emotionless. Tyler knew it was a lie.

“That’s obviously not true. Just-just let me explain—”

“There’s no use in explaining, Tyler. It is what it is,” she said, immediately dropping the act.

“What does that mean?”

“If I had known you were into guys I wouldn’t have bothered...” she mumbled, cutting off her own sentence. Tyler was taken aback. He knew it was a jab at their friendship—which Tyler honestly cared about—and it hurt. He tried shaking it off. He had caused this mess to begin with. He was to blame. “And if I’d known you were dating Daniel, I—”

“We’re not dating,” he responded. “And I’m not—”

“It doesn’t matter, Tyler,” she cut him off. “I saw what was happening, so denying it does nothing. Just forget it, I have to go now.” Tyler tried to think of a response but came up with nothing. He just stood there quietly as she walked away. 

The next day came slowly. Tyler spent his entire night dwelling over what had happened with Emilia. It was nothing he should’ve been worrying about, Emilia wasn’t someone who would go rambling her mouth to the whole school. Even if she hated him now, Tyler knew her enough to know she wasn’t a bad person. Now, he stood in front of the door of the class he had with her, tugging on his fingers as anxiety pooled in his stomach. How should he talk? Should he talk? Was he even worth talking to anymore? Questions ran through Tyler’s mind as he took a cautious step inside the classroom. He’d find the answers out soon enough.

Everyone in the classroom acted normally, a sign that Tyler’s thoughts about Emilia were correct. It was reassuring knowing that even with a slip up like that, Emilia was still a good person. Tyler made his way to his desk next to her—who was silently tapping away on her phone—and quietly sat down. Awkwardness flooded the air, suffocating Tyler as his leg bounced in fervor. The uncomfortable air swayed throughout the class, all the way up until they had to work in their pairs once again.

Tyler tried to break it. “Hey, so about yesterday—”

“Let’s just work on our classwork, okay?” Emilia shut him down. Tyler tried to not look upset. There was a moment of silence before she sighed. “I’m not going to ramble about it to everyone, so it’s fine. I know how people at this school are.” Tyler gave a small nod before returning to work. 

The pair made it through the class without trouble, though it was nothing like it used to be. Tyler knew Emilia held some sort of negative emotion towards him—disgust, hatred, something of the like—from the way she acted. He tried to ignore it. Everything was fine. Emilia was a good person, that’s all that mattered.